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Monday, June 4, 2012

More Advice for the Single Men

A while back I published a post For Men: Cool vs Creepy - A Woman's Point of View

Having been around some single men lately and have been randomly annoyed, I'd like to add some more advice to my original list.

Disclaimer:  I'm a married woman.  I'm no longer in the singles market, THANK GOD!  These are just my observations.  I do have a fairly keen eye to spot the things that tend to be annoying, and trust me - I pick up on quite a bit.  I am not directly aiming this at anyone, so don't take offense if you think I am.  You're not the only guy sporting these behaviors, hence my list.

I don't exactly know why I chose to write this in the first person, but here goes...

I know you're all on your very best behavior when trying to impress that special lady, but we all know that at one time or another - the curtain will come down & we're all revealed for who we really are.  Even if you're not trying to "impress" lets play nice anyway.

So to continue:

Men, if you are out with grown women - the line, "sorry, all I've got are hundreds" or "I make too much money" is not necessarily impressive.  If you're looking to get mugged out in the parking lot, then by all means - have at it.  That ranks right up there with "I've got a really cool car."

Personally, I make my own money.  I don't need your big fat wallet to come save the day.

How about being a nice guy instead & open the car door for me when you see I'm struggling to get out?

Ball busting??  Save that for the guys, please.  If we're trying to engage in male conversation, please don't cut us down or make us feel stupid for trying to do so.  Give us kudos for at least trying.

Oh, and learn to understand "woman speak".  If you see me standing there freezing my butt off, don't ask me if I want your jacket.  OF COURSE I want your jacket & OF COURSE I'm going to say no ... just put your jacket over my shoulders & help warm me up.

You will be rewarded.

Yes, we do talk a lot.  As long as WE are your option - you may as well get used to it.  Most of us know you're not paying full attention anyway.  A simple smile, head nod & a God you're beautiful will suffice.  A little chocolate & red wine never hurt either. 
See:  No Honey, that's not the fan. I'm speaking

Do NOT ignore us!
Just because YOU aren't interested in what we have to say, blatantly ignoring us will just serve to piss us off!  That will never end well.  At least pretend to be interested - there will not be a test at the end.  You don't need to hang on every single word, though it would be nice.

We are ALL pains in the asses in our very own special way.  Deal with it.  Again, as long as it's the female species you're going for - you will deal with our very own special brand of "pain in the ass."

Don't fart, PLEASE.  Yes, we know everyone farts - but there really is a time and place for everything.

Your farts DO stink and we CAN smell them.  Down the road, if it gets there - it all comes out in the wash - but not now & especially not in a restaurant.  Sheesh, go to the men's room!

Regardless of what you may think - we woman folk really not all that difficult to please.  All we really want is to be treated with love & respect.  Tell us we're beautiful, treat us like a princess & all will be well.  When in doubt, red wine & chocolate will do the trick.  Just don't forget the beautiful part.

Thank you for reading my blog!


*Additional Disclaimer:  Since I did write this so quickly after seeing two very good male friends, I should clarify, this is not about not either of you :)  Any similarities you may see are purely coincidental!  You know I think you guys walk on water!

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