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Monday, June 4, 2012

For the men: Cool / Cute vs. Creepy - a woman's point of view

I've felt compelled to put this out there - well, because sometimes I get a little creeped out.

I'm married - obviously not dating or looking to date.
I'm definitely a member of the been there / done that club AND believe it or not, I still get hit on.  (Yeah, baby - she's still got it!)

Guys, this is for YOU... 

At this point in my life, I've figured out that you man folk don't get us women AT ALL.

I'm sure you've all realized that men & women do not think at all alike. With that in mind, someone needs to let you know the things we know that there is a difference between what we women view as cute or cool and what comes across as creepy....

The first one, and one of the things that creeps ME out the most - using the word Ciao (and thinking you're really hot for doing so)  Unless you are in Italy or Spain, Italian or Spanish is your first language, or you are from a European country that actually uses the word Ciao - using it here is creepy, not cool.  (I can feel a little vomit coming to the back of my throat now)  I know there are way worse things.  Personally - Y U C K !

Second creepiest thing to me - Winking & shooting your finger at us - totally creepy - completely uncool and downright dorky!  Find another method!

Also, winking can go either way depending on the wink & the accompanying look.

You think hot.  We see THIS
A cute smile and nod is ok.  Hungry eyes and a glaring smile - CREEPY!  We don't see things the way you do - it's not hot it's creepy - don't do it!

We don't want or need to hear right off the bat that you have a really hot car...

For immediate conversational purposes, we care that you're straight, employed & have a car to drive yourself where you need to be...  (not living with mommy also a plus)

If you get beyond that and there's chemistry - the rest might be cool - otherwise it just sounds kinda creepy and desperate.

Don't EVER tell us you're superficial & will trade us in when we're 40 for 2 - 20 year old's!
You may be joking - but our brain immediately fast forwards to that time & we see ourselves 10 (or how ever many) years older, 20 lbs heavier with 2+ kids, bills to pay and then the jackass strands us to runs off with his hot 20 something.  Even if she was totally smitten, those words are the kiss of death, I assure you.

You have amazing child bearing hips...
By the same token, don't start sizing us up for the whole enchilada either...  We get spooked too, ya know!  We may want the kid & family package - but let's wait on that, shall we?  We don't need to hear how we'd make the perfect mother to your children within the first 30 seconds - or 30 days for that matter!  (this is subjective, though)

Honesty is always the best policy.  We'd rather be slapped with brutal honesty than dragged around from the back of your really hot car by lies & end up in the same spot we started from.

We also don't care about how many conquests you have under your belt.  Save that for the guys.  We really don't want to know.  Not only do we NOT want to hear about it - but we think it's gross & creepy.  (and secretly wonder if there will be STD's involved)

Boyish charm - very cute.  Needing to ask your mommy for approval of every decision you make as a grown man CREEPY.  Yes, we want you to love your mommy.  I know my son better love me forever, but does the name Norman Bates mean anything to you?

Since I've been happily married for quite a while now - I felt it was time to pass on this plethora of womanly insight to the men who may be reading.

Please fee free to pass this information on to the single men you may know who may desperately need it!

To my single ladies, you're welcome!  If anyone's going to put it out there - you should have known it would be me!

Guys, if you're not too shell shocked, please feel free to check out...More Advice for the Single Men.

Thank you for reading my blog!


~Jenn

(Revised & Revamped from November 7, 2011)
** Disclaimer...If the person who threw me the trade a 40 for 2-20's line is reading, no offense.  It's all in good fun, besides, my hubby threw me the "really cool car" line... (insert eye roll)  Smoochies.  **

4 comments:

  1. Good morning Jenn. Great advice for all the creeps in the world and the ladies who fall for them. I have been living in Florida for 10 years and I still can't believe the level of creepy and disgusting the guys down here resort to. They are a definitely a different breed here in the Sunshine State..YUCK!

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  2. Funny! I went out with my friends for my birthday a few months back. A guy hit on me by turning to me and holding his open to contacts and said, "I'm gonna have to get you to put your contact info in here." I laughed. Hard. So lame.

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  3. A guy doesn't care if he is creepy. You forgot to add that in the part where men and women think differently. In the same thread if a man has to read a womans blog to get tips on how not to be creepy... that IS creepy!

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    1. Ha, you are very correct... I did say that men & women don't think alike :) Fortunately, this is meant as total silliness... If someone is looking to ME for advice, the world has much bigger problems. :) Thank you for your comments & for reading my blog!

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