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Monday, June 18, 2012

Getting older - HATE IT!

I still haven't wrapped my brain around the fact that I'm not 20 or 30 anything anymore.

I jokingly refer to myself as an "old broad" - and will allow my husband to lovingly refer to me as his "old lady",  BUT I'm still kicking and screaming about getting older.

When I look in the mirror, I thankfully don't see some old broad looking back at me.  However, my aches and pains and the length of time it now takes me to get up and at 'em tells me for sure that I'm no spring chicken anymore.  As a matter of fact - one of my chickens has already left the nest.

My brain thinks I'm 20ish, if that.  I am far from the example of maturity that should properly be portrayed amongst the young ones.  At least I have fun. 

On Facebook last week I posted a note to Mother Nature, basically telling her to kiss off!  Here I am - on the downside of 40 - yeah I went there - psychotically running out to buy a pregnancy test because Mother Nature and Auntie Flo have decided to screw with me.

No, no -- GOD NO - I am NOT preggers!  Believe me, you'd hear my screams from every corner of the planet if I were.  Not that I don't love the wee ones, but I tried like a mad woman to be preggers & hold a pregnancy more times than I want to discuss - WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.

At the tender age of, somewhere in between rockin' out hot chick and grandma needs her walker, I'm not ready to take the plunge into the wonderful world of maternity again.  Get it?!?!

Pregnancy Test:  The only test you truly WANT to fail at a certain age..
I know, I know -- a missed visit from Auntie Flo at my age doesn't necessarily warrant a psychotic run for prego test.  It's more a message that the older, bitchier Auntie Men-O-Pause is knocking.  Loudly!

Yes, I know you're there!  Can't you hear the stress and anxiety you've create in my voice when I yell at everyone & anything just because??

Your pending arrival is quite the joy.  Not just for me, but the entire family.

My husband has generously offered to spend more quality time at the office to avoid the stress your pending arrival is causing.

Oh, and the hot flashes??  Joy, I tell ya!

There's nothing I want more at 3 am than to peel the covers off my sopping wet body (gross) & run to the refrigerator just to feel the cold air.

That giant container of ice water looks awfully refreshing as well. 

Perhaps a wet t-shirt contest in the kitchen at 3 am?  Yeah, I don't think so.

Well, on the upside... Hmmm, Ok no upside. 

So I continue to kick and scream all the way through the aging process.  I'll stay on Miss Clairol's good side, load up on the anti-aging, anti-wrinkle creams & whatever the hell else I can come up with to keep things from wrinkling, sagging & moving places they don't belong.

What joy...  Yeah, so like I said... Getting older.   HATE IT!

Thank you for reading my blog!



  1. Jenny, you are singing my song! I'm just into my 40's.....well, 44 to be exact, not really just into. When did that happen? Hahaha! I've noticed lately that out of nowhere all I see is red and go crazy over little things. My family is not sure what to think. Don't get me started on night sweats....been having them since 35! Hot flashes during the day have been increasing 10fold here in the last month too. I refuse to believe the signs, after all I don't feel old! Thank you for putting a voice to all of my feelings! Love your blog! Have a beautiful day!

  2. Man oh man is darrin in for it when it's my time!

  3. This is oh so timely for me, as I've been thinking about it a lot. The bags under my eyes, the jowls...*wimper*. I will go down kicking and screaming in my combat boots, dammit! "one of my chickens has already left the nest." LOL I love that!
    Congratulations on the negative pregnancy test. Phew! I hear ya. I can barely stay awake after I get the dinner dishes done, no way could I think of all night feedings with a baby, etc. That rotating pic is great - where did you find it?

  4. Bahahaha.... I'm laughing so hard right now! I feel the same way. I am now closer to 50 than 40 and I frkn hate it too! I could dedicated my whole blog to getting old. Seems like there's something that screams YOU'RE OLD happening to me on a daily basis. I haven't seen Aunt Flow in a few months and I just know she's going to surprise me at any moment...probably in the middle of the grocery store, or some place totally inconvenient! I did know better than to do a preggers test (my husband's been fixed) WHEW, right? LOL
    thanks for the laugh, and we can all suffer through this together!


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