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Friday, April 6, 2012

Prepping for the past to come slap you in the face...

Have you ever been in a position where you knew you were going to see someone from your past?  

It doesn't matter who it is - a good friend, an ex, an old school mate - some one you loved, someone you hated - whatever, whoever.

When you create the scenario in your brain, you're absolutely fabulous.
                                                You're looking absolutely gorgeous, saying all the correct very witty things, giggling & dazzling all in attendance.

In your brain, you're leaving this person to think...

"Wow, I really missed the boat on that one!
She's fabulous!"

But instead...You fall down in the street, say stupid stuff repeatedly & act in a way that the person is most likely thinking...
"WOW - I really dodged a bullet there."

Hellooooooo Mrs. Asshat!  How are you feeling today?  Oh mortified??  Go figure!

I can laugh about it now, because the dust has settled.  I'm not as freaked out as I was.

I am quite sure, however, that there is someone from my past who will not only never speak to me again, but would probably hide if they saw me coming.

It's all good, I suppose.  Not exactly what I was going for - but what's done is done.  Can't change it.

Redemption has never been my strong suit... I'm me.
I'm good at being myself.  As soon as I get nervous and try to "act" like something - I'm a total freak.  Yeah, I don't know what that was all about, or where that freak came from - but she was out in full force.

Oh yes - I stressed over this for weeks because I know I made a complete and utter ass of myself.

Fortunately, some of the people with  front row seat to the Mrs. Asshat show didn't know me personally and will never see me again (I hope) - but for those who will... Eek!

If you're someone worth hanging out with, you'll stick around to know who this freak really is.

She's just me...Someone who's trying to be the best mommy and wife, friend, employee, chief cook & bottle washer as possible...and still have fun and be me.

I will be hangin' out my freak flag - high & proud.

You could love & accept me for who I am - or rock on...

Whatever works for you.

The past is the past - it's best left there.

I'm moving forward into my future...Wanna come??

Thank you for reading my blog!!


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