It's hard for me to say I'm sorry... 2013 version

Today is Good Friday.

I don't know if that means anything to some of you who are reading, but to me, this day is REALLY big.

I know you're not supposed to decide for yourself which Christian holiday is the most important, but to me - it's today.

The day that Jesus chose to obey His father and scripture and die for the forgiveness of our sins.

How often do we withhold forgiveness of others?

No one's telling us we need to die to forgive those who've sinned against us.  Yet forgiveness seems to be so difficult sometimes.

Typically, I'm not a grudge holder.  I forgive & then hang back as far as possible for as long as I need to until I am comfortable with a situation.  That comfort may never come.

I'm not so sure that's fabulous either.

I'm also not fabulous about saying I'm sorry.  I will, eventually - but I sometimes feel like the Fonz, from Happy Days, when saying that I'm sorry or that I was wrong.

I've been doing a lot of self work over the past year.  I've cleared my plates, stewed, exploded, burned bridges.  Now I'm still trying to figure out which bridges I should be rebuilding and who wants to meet me on the other side.

Sorry is not at all easy for someone who "needs" to be right.
Sorry means I've done something wrong & I hate to be wrong.  That means I need to make it right, and when I can't it makes me crazy.


Today - I say I'm sorry.  Sorry if I was ever mean to you in any way.  Sorry if I dumped on you.  Sorry if I wasn't the best mommy, wife, friend or whatever that I always hope to be to you.  I'm sorry.

Along with my apologies, I also offer my forgiveness to those who hurt me.

It's the right thing to do.

Apologizing is not easy on any level.  Especially if you will never know if your apology has been accepted - or if you've been forgiven.

It's the faith that the apology will free you and your heart will lighten.

Because really, forgiveness and apologies start from within.

Forgiveness of sins is what this day is all about.

I wish you all a very Happy Easter & the deep meaning of the Forgiveness that this day truly represents.

As always, thank you for reading my blog!


Lots of love,
Jenn