Sometimes you really do need to hit rock bottom to appreciate the things you've been given in this life.
Fortunately, for me - I don't think I've ever really been at total rock bottom.
I'm a survivor & I will fight tooth and nail to get what I need to get & be where I need to be before I totally crash and burn.
There was a time, well actually a few times, in my life where I felt like I was about as low as I could be. Just different things - death, love loss, whatever. Some of it silly stuff, and other - some really substantial stuff.
Things that put me in a place where I pondered life & wondered if it would ever get better.
If I really did deserve more, or if this is all there was.
Now - you'd never know I was ever that person. You may never have known I was that person.
Partially because I hide the crap in my life behind a big ol smile & try to just have fun. Not spoil the party for everyone else.. Ah yes, the perpetual martyr.
During these times, I'd made some really poor decisions & created more problems for myself. Some I was able to overcome and let go of right away - others just took more time, more undoing & a re-start.
Lately, I've been "clearing my plate".
Don't get me wrong, I'm in a really great place in my life and incredibly happy. I just have all this extra 'stuff' that I've been carrying around that was bringing me down emotionally.
Controlling me in ways I didn't particularly like.
I've also been able to reflect on the people who were instrumental in my life. Those I didn't give proper kudos to or appreciate in the moment. Say thank you where I need to & let those folks know how much they mean to me. Others, I laid my 'woes' out on the line. Some debated. Some ignored. Some dealt with it. Some cared, some didn't.
Doesn't matter - it's done.
Friends, don't worry - I'm good! I'm actually REALLY good right now! Sometimes making peace is really all you ever need. Even if that peace is just with your conscience.
I consistently preach on how secrets, lies, jealousy, anger & hate will always hurt you more than the other person. Ain't that the truth!
Put it all out there & say here - this is what's on my mind. This is how I feel and let it go.
The other person may not like it, but if they're meant to be in your life - no matter what you're relationship is - they'll accept you and continue to be in your life. If not, oh well.
I've cleared my plate with some VERY substantial people in my life.
It was difficult for me, because I never want to hurt anyone or be disrespectful.
Sometimes things just need to be said. They may not even care - but why keep bandaging a wound that never heals.
Get it out there. Say thank you & let it go....
Clear your plate & be happy!
Thank you for reading my blog!
~Jenn
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