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I'm a survivor & I will fight tooth and nail to get what I need to get & be where I need to be before I totally crash and burn.
There was a time, well actually a few times, in my life where I felt like I was about as low as I could be. Just different things - death, love loss, whatever. Some of it silly stuff, and other - some really substantial stuff.
Things that put me in a place where I pondered life & wondered if it would ever get better.
If I really did deserve more, or if this is all there was.
Now - you'd never know I was ever that person. You may never have known I was that person.
Partially because I hide the crap in my life behind a big ol smile & try to just have fun. Not spoil the party for everyone else.. Ah yes, the perpetual martyr.
During these times, I'd made some really poor decisions & created more problems for myself. Some I was able to overcome and let go of right away - others just took more time, more undoing & a re-start.
Lately, I've been "clearing my plate".
Don't get me wrong, I'm in a really great place in my life and incredibly happy. I just have all this extra 'stuff' that I've been carrying around that was bringing me down emotionally.
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Controlling me in ways I didn't particularly like.
I've also been able to reflect on the people who were instrumental in my life. Those I didn't give proper kudos to or appreciate in the moment. Say thank you where I need to & let those folks know how much they mean to me. Others, I laid my 'woes' out on the line. Some debated. Some ignored. Some dealt with it. Some cared, some didn't.
Doesn't matter - it's done.
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I consistently preach on how secrets, lies, jealousy, anger & hate will always hurt you more than the other person. Ain't that the truth!
Put it all out there & say here - this is what's on my mind. This is how I feel and let it go.
The other person may not like it, but if they're meant to be in your life - no matter what you're relationship is - they'll accept you and continue to be in your life. If not, oh well.
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It was difficult for me, because I never want to hurt anyone or be disrespectful.
Sometimes things just need to be said. They may not even care - but why keep bandaging a wound that never heals.
Get it out there. Say thank you & let it go....
Clear your plate & be happy!
Thank you for reading my blog!
~Jenn
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