Thursday, August 30, 2012
When your first little birdie leaves the nest...
Admittedly, I did not handle my son leaving the nest well.
He joined the military. Something, of which, I am incredibly proud of.
My son, though the light of my life, is the child that really earned me my mommy stripes. He was my tough kid, the one who gave me a run for my money.
If there was trouble, he'd find it. He was much like my brother Eric was as a kid, not necessarily the ring leader, but certainly a willing participant.
Despite all of that - he was my "little buddy" growing up - Momma's baby boy. When he left, it was very difficult for me.
The day he was scheduled to leave for boot camp, I helped to pack up the very few things he was able to bring. I drove him to the rendezvous point, where he was sworn in & swooped off to boot camp.
I cried the entire 2 hour drive home.
When I got home, I shut his bedroom door. I'd go in a few times & clean his room, keeping everything as he'd left it - but ya know, clean. No one was allowed in, but me. It was my shrine.
Every night, I go to my kids' rooms. I watch them sleep for a few seconds, kiss them on the forehead, pull up their covers & let them sleep. It was / is a ritual. There was no one to kiss good night in his empty room. So I just looked at the empty bed & sobbed. My heart felt hollow.
The first weeks after he left seemed endless, and then I finally got a phone call. An honest to goodness phone call. I was over the moon. I was finally able to book a flight & go see my "baby boy" or, in reality - the man he'd become.
My mind reflected back to the beautiful infant boy that was placed into my arms, to the cut up little boy who decided to ride his bike down that REALLY BIG hill, to the troubled days that now made me giggle a little bit - and I realized, I blinked.
The day I never thought would come quickly enough during those troubled days, was slapping me hard in my face as I now beam at my young man with pride. No longer a baby - now a man.
True, parenthood is full of trials. It's full of days you wish would just end - but when they do, you realize how much you miss those days. Well, some of them...
Thank you for reading my blog!!
I'm outta here!!