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Monday, August 20, 2012

The Church of the Holy Throne... revisited

Growing up, both I and now my children learned quickly that no one ever needs to know what goes on behind the closed bathroom door.

If the door is shut, there is nothing so important that can't wait until the door opens back up.

Now that chickadee is in our home - she's a little slow to learn this and will knock on the door for any reason at all.

This is my aspiration
Now my kids know... When I head to go into the shower - leave me alone.  For the love of monkeys, I'm only in there for 7 minutes or less.  All want or need to care about is that there's hot water, shampoo, conditioner, soap - a towel and QUIET.  Leave me alone.  That's where I have my morning conference call with the Big Guy upstairs, or just have my deep thinking moments.

I don't care what happens on the other side of the bathroom door.  I don't even want to know that anything outside the shower door exists!

It's seven minutes - deal with it!

This is my reality
This morning... not once, not twice - but three time.  Knock, knock, knock..."Miss Jennnnnn."  OMG, what does this child want??  My husband is out there - what can I possibly do for her naked, with soap in my eyes that he can't deal with? Nicely (the first time) I ask what she wants.... 
"I finished my breakfast." Great...and I need to know NOW why?  Whatever - I'm kinda busy trying to enjoy the hot water cascading off my body at the moment.  Less than two friggin' minutes later.... "Miss Jennnnnn, CeCe won't let me play with her Barbies."  Um...I'm not the only parent in the household. Seek other advice.  Another minute later.. "Miss Jennnnnnnnnn, I need to pee."  OMG, OMG, OMG - then GO IN THE OTHER BATHROOM.

She may be friendlier...
So much for my nice relaxing shower.  Now I'm just annoyed and everyone's on the chopping block. The short one for interrupting me three times in 5 minutes - yes, I even shortened the time.  My daughter for not sharing the stupid Barbies & Hubby for not feeling so horrified that Ogre wife would appear that he didn't immediately steer short one far, far away from the bathroom door.

I called a general announcement...."Here ye, here ye... Unless there is Danger, Severe Injury, Mass Destruction or Fire - I am NOT to be disturbed in the shower... ARE WE CLEAR?"

Sheesh, we knew better growing up.

We were born and bred with knowledge that the closed bathroom door was like church - NO TALKING.

So now the cross is hung high on the bathroom door - and I will once again christen the water closet as that of "The House of the Holy Throne".  No Talking, No Knocking, No Kidding.

Violators are subject to a swirly :)

OK maybe not really, but it ought to keep 'em at bay so I can at least enjoy my own version of  "7 minutes in heaven" - a hot shower!

Have a nice day all!!




  1. There is truly NOTHING like the Uninterupted Shower is there!!! But I'm guessing you don't really know what that is. :( Poor girl! Someday...someday darling....ahhh....someday!

  2. For the life of me, I cannot understand WHY, when there are 2 perfectly capable parents in the house, WHY in the name of all that is HOLY do the children forget that there is an option?? If I'm in the shower, and the bathroom door is closed, for Pete's sake, go. ask. dad. Is that so hard? No, I cannot open the bottle of juice for you, I've got soap on my hands. No, I cannot unlock the computer for you, I'd short circuit the damn thing because I'm TAKING A SHOWER!!!


    Great blog, babes!!!


  3. This was hilarious to read, it brought me back a whole life time ago of nagging and begging my mom while she was in the bathroom to cook me food.

    -Irwin Zinkin

  4. This is the TRUTH. For the love of all things clean....the last time my littlest one kept coming in and INSISTING i do something or the other NOW - I finally grabbed her - clothing and all - dragged her into the shower and made her take one with me. And then clean up the sopping wet clothing.

    She doesn't come in anymore.


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