You have a freak flag too, ya know!

Oh for God's sake - I'm not flirting with you, I'm just friendly!

Sheesh...

I have this weird way about me.  I can't explain it or know what other people see before they get to know me, but it happens to me over and over again.

I do things just because.  No good reason other than, well I think I'm doing a nice gesture - helping make someone else's life easier, whatever.  It's just my very Jenn, over the top, way.

I don't expect things in return.  I've leaned a long time ago (and blogged it) that you don't do something for someone else expecting some sort of return.  You do from the heart expecting nothing and you'll never be disappointed.  Really, not even as much as a thank you (but it would be nice).  Common courtesy is lost these days, as is the notion that people will do things without expecting something in return.  So I just do what I want.  If I get a thank you, if I get appreciation, if I get any acknowledgement - bonus.  I'm never disappointed.

On that....  I'm over the top.  I get that.  I don't know how to change that and since I'm getting pretty old - this is who I am.  If you're a friend I haven't seen in a while, I may (and have) run over, tackle you and hug you til your head nearly pops off.  I am just "overly" everything.  I'm not needy or insecure.  I'm not trying to try to hard, it's just how I am.  A freak.

Ladies, if you don't know me - you do not need to hold onto your husbands a little tighter when I come around.  I've got a husband of my own, thanks & I don't want yours.  If I "flirt" with him, I may also be "flirting" with you the next minute.  It's not intentional.  Half the time I don't realize that I'm being flirty.   In my brain, I'm being friendly.

As an older momma, this isn't as much of a problem with me as it used to be.  Having had mostly male friends, the girlfriends always gave me crap. I don't do anything differently.  If I do for him or her, I'll do for you. Perfect example - and anyone who recognizes this scenario -- shhhh...
A while back I met up with some friends.  It was around Valentines Day, so I got ALL of my friends who would be there little Valentine treats.  Nothing crazy or gushing emotional love and affection - just a little token of friendship to say, "Hey, I was thinking about you."  Small tokens & one for everyone.  I gave to the last person, who said - "Oh, Thank you, but I can't accept this."  Really????  It's a flippin $2 box of candy from Walmart & everyone got one.  I'm not trying to bed you or anything.  I even had to say that I gave one to EVERYONE so it would be accepted.  Sheesh!
Yeah, that kinda stuff.

My social switch is busted.  Permanently.  Am I socially awkward?  Yeah, I guess.  I feel like I always say and do the wrong things & when I try to fix them it only gets worse.  When I'm uncomfortable the Jenn turns up even higher.  Whatever.  I've stopped trying to apologize & fix things.  I am who I am.... Love me, or not.  We are all freaks in our own way.

Oh yeah...You ARE a freak.  Just because you haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean that there isn't something you do that makes someone else's eyes roll.  Get over it, you are who you are.  Besides, they're freaks too!  Why would you ever change who you are??  Most of the time that's what draws people to you.  The thing that makes you..YOU!

I realize that I'm going on a tangent here.  After a week of sitting in my house reading, looking at walls, entertaining kids & flushing toilets with buckets of water - I have been thinking way too much.  Processing crap & going through my draft file of stuff I started & never finished.

I guess my point is - as always, just be who you are.  Don't try to hide your freak flag.  Everyone sees it anyway, even if you haven't discovered it yet.  Trust me, it's there.

We are all freaks in our own special way.

Go be you -- Go BE A FREAK!

For God's sake - it's the weekend.  Fly your flag - be proud & have fun!

Most of all, be safe & take some smoochies with you.

Thank you for reading my morningly psychosis!

Love you all :)

~Jenn