How about a little perspective?

I've spent the past few weeks going over old posts & taking some down.

The majority are rants, but others surprisingly down are among my most popular posts.

I'm occasionally guilty of "shoot first, ask questions later".  In the case of my little bloggie here, I type and fire it out.  Then a week or month later I think, meh... I should probably take that down.

It's sort of like your diary.  At the time you're writing some things - you feel really passionately about what you're writing - no matter what the topic, but you KNOW you wouldn't want someone else to read it because it may hurt their feelings.

While it's true that many of my posts are brushed up writings from years ago - sometimes it's current stuff that bugs me that I need to get rid of.  At the time, I may not give a flying monkey who reads it and is offended.  Other times, well - I don't like to hurt people's feelings.  Even if they've hurt mine in some way.

So yeah, some things are noticeably absent.  Even some of the most popular ones - because as I re-read them, even though it may be praising someone from the highest mountain, someone else may feel badly.

It's true - I've had a lot of crap.  Who the heck hasn't?
The recent realization I've come to is that people treat us in ways we allow them to.  Yes, sadly this is a recent realization.  It takes me a while.  Often times, my fairly lay back nature opens the door to people to take advantage of me.  It doesn't get to me, or I don't notice until the last straw.  That last straw with me is never pretty.  That is generally the thing that sets me over the edge.  That is MY fault, I allowed it.

Yeah, I do like people to be happy and I will always continue to do all I can for the benefit of another - I'm just not going to lie down to be steam rolled.  I don't do it in most places - why would I do it at all?

This, again - is not specific.  It's general - because I've often loved too much, cared too much (yes it's possible) put myself out there too much to help another person and then for one reason or another, my feelings got hurt.

Will my feelings get hurt again, yes - I'm sure they will.  I'm trying to not make that so easy to do.

This whole storm business and seeing what's going on around me has, once again, showed me that stupid stuff isn't worth holding on to.  I've let so much go up to this point, now it's time to just drop it all and move on.

Sometimes it's not as easy, because there may be trust issues - but holding onto anger isn't worth it either.

I've felt...let's say ignored for lack of a better word, by some key people in my life.  Their interaction with others does sometimes make me think "what the hell did I do wrong?"  but it's not all and always me.  It's them too and I can't let that hurt my heart.

Through all of this, I have learned again that even though at times I may be a bit much - every single ounce of that too much is done with love and caring and a full heart.  If the other person can't handle that, it's their problem - not mine.

I know that my intentions are properly placed.

I know what's right and what's wrong and what I'm supposed to do.  If I do for one, I do for all.

No hidden agendas or motives.

Those of you who know me, or have read me long enough know - I'm an open book.  I call 'em as I see 'em.  I am who I am.  I mostly love everyone & will do whatever another needs.  Period, end of story.

Because that's what you're supposed to do.

"Love one another, as I have loved you...."

That, my friends - is perspective.

Love & be loved...

~Jenn