Obsessive?? Mmmmm, maybe...

Freud would have a ball with me....

I've never had the nerve to call my self "normal".  I fully believe that "normal" is relative - but even in a relative sense, I'm probably still considered more bat sh*t crazy than even remotely normal.

Yes, follow your 9 year old leader

I blame my early childhood & unbroken life patterns for my psychosis.


As a child, I was left alone quite often.  Not totally alone, I had my 2 little brothers to attend to.  (not better)  I had no choice but to get tough and be the strong one.  To figure stuff out.

If I was afraid, which I was all the time, I had to pretend to not be scared so my brothers weren't scared.  I had to take the lead and to be an example.

Ok, Yes I am.

Can you even begin to imagine the type of example a 9 year old me, with no example, had on 2 little ones?

After I got over all that, people started dying on me.  Not just random people - key people; My dad, my first love, friends.  This threw me into a tizzy.  I started clinging to everyone.  Stopped ending toxic relationships that should have ended, because I believed those people just needed to know they were loved - and we know I want to save the world.  I'd never let go of anyone EVER.


I was over the top.

This death stuff created the NEED in me to make sure that people knew how special and important I thought they were.

Even these days I try to stay in touch on a regular basis.  If I lose touch with someone (could they be hiding from me???  Hmmmm)
I reach out, just to say hi.

No, I don't want to keep you forever & wear you like last year's Versace, I just want to say hi and I haven't forgotten you.


One day, I sat back and started looking at my behaviors and thought WOW - that could be thought of as, well - creepy!

Am I a creeper??  Am I a stalker??  I like to browse Facebook pages...

Happily, after looking up those two definitions - I am NOT either of those (whew).  I may be am a bit obsessive though.  Hmmmm...

Here I think I'm just being Susie Sunshine & Happiness brightening the lives of those around me, when really people are thinking - "Oh Crap, here she comes.  What's up with that stupid grin on her face??  Is she going to come bouncing over here.. Ahh, yes she is.... Quick - look busy..."


Really, I'm being a bit tongue in cheek.  I have a lot more confidence & self esteem than I portray here.  Sadly, portions of this are true, or at least were at one time in my life.  Well maybe a few more times than once.  I do carry a lot of this stuff around with me.  I've just learned to tone it down some.

My brother's best friend, Pete, used to refer to me as "overly friendly" - that's about right, I suppose.  I'd much rather be thought of as a little crazy and an overly friendly goof ball than a downright nasty you know what...

I will most likely ALWAYS bounce over to you squirting sunshine & happiness whether I just saw you yesterday or I haven't seen you in 20 years.

Is it a little goofy and off the wall, yeah probably - will that stop me?  Nope.

Why, thank you!

I am obsessively in love with my friends.  I want to keep you close to me forever and ever.  Just not like last year's Versace.... Get it?  Good!

And then I will tone it down and go about my merry little way.

Thank you for reading today's psychosis.

Have a fabulous day!

~Jenn

See, THIS is what writer's block does to me...
It makes crazy, what the heck did I just read blogs...Aren't you glad you stopped by?

Let's Talk Taboo....

If you're looking for a funny post, this isn't going to be one.

I half thought about trying to find a picture of a man with a horse saddle on & a woman wearing spurs to get your attention, but the fact is - this taboo is one that's near and dear to my heart.  One that shouldn't be perpetuated and one that happened to ME.

No it's Not!

SUICIDE

Yes, this HAPPENED TO ME not once, but twice.

It doesn't matter that I'm among the living - it's the living part that hurts.  The living with the pain of the loss, the confusion and the guilt.  For those who've left us - their pain is gone.

They may be the victims at their own hand, to end their own lives - but it's truly those left behind who are the real victims.

The ones left with the pain and the guilt.  The ones grasping at straws wondering why they didn't see it coming.  Wondering why this person they loved so much didn't know how much we loved them - or why they didn't trust us enough to talk to us.  What we could have possibly done differently.  Why?

This pain happens to US.

This pain happened to ME.  Twice.

My Dad 8/8/42 - 3/28/85 - He was 42

My dad committed suicide when I was 18 years old.  To this day, I don't understand it.  He didn't leave a note of explanation - nothing.  I was daddy's little girl.  The one he told every day that I was his reason for living.

What did I do wrong that one day he decided I wasn't worth it anymore?

He didn't get to see me get married.  He never saw me become a mother.  He never got to know my children.  So many mile stones that my dad was not here for.

I was his little girl, and he left me.  His choice.

My Brother 9/9/68 - 8/24/07 - He was 39

My brother took his life almost 5 years ago.  He also didn't leave a note of explanation.  He was engaged to a beautiful girl, they were planning their wedding & then poof - just like that it was over.
We had a crappy childhood, but I was so proud of him.  He overcame so much.  His suicide was worse for me because he and I weren't speaking.

I wasn't there for him.  I never had a chance to reach out to him, to help him - to tell him I loved him.  It was just over - gone.

It doesn't even matter if any of what I just said is the actual truth - these are the feelings left behind.  The feelings of guilt that don't go away.  EVER!

I understand that suicide is said to be a form of mental illness, and I do truly believe that.  It wasn't my first rodeo with my brother, it was just the one I wasn't able to prevent.  He had tried several times before.  I was just able to prolong the inevitable in earlier days - to look out for him, as big sisters do.  I'd felt like a failure to let him slip away & leave his son, his fiancee - all of us.

I've tried to understand - to wrap my head around it and I just can't.

I've been very, very, very sad in my life - especially with these two losses.  I've lost in love.  I've lost things I don't even want to be public with.  I've been to rock bottom, but I've never once wanted to die.  Even at my lowest moment   I may have uttered the words in a moment of distress - but no real plan ever entered my mind.  I never went against my nature to survive.  I can't conceive of it - it's not in my make up. 

This is not a badge of honor.  It is not for sympathy or empathy that I write this blog today.  It's my want and need to stop this from happening to another person.

This is not just for those of us who have encountered a suicidal person - but for the suicidal person.

Please read my words, read my pain - because in the end, the pain and confusion that you suffer as someone contemplating suicide gets passed on to the people you leave behind.

PLEASE get help!

If you can't love yourself enough to want to stay, then PLEASE love the people you will leave behind enough to not leave them with this pain.  They will not get over it.  My dad has been gone 28 years.  I'm NOT over it!

Please find your instinct to survive and to overcome.

Today, there's nothing that I can do to bring back my dad or my brother.  All I can do is take my pain and use it to try to help someone else.  I hope like hell that I have.

Thank you for reading my blog!


~Jenn


If you, or someone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, please contact the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:  http://www.afsp.org/

An award? FOR ME??? Thank you! I pass this on to....

I'm more than honored to receive this Kreativ Blogger award!

I could hardly  contain my excitement when my dear, sweet, bloggie friend
You Know it Happens at Your House Too
awarded me with the Kreativ Blogger Award!

Before I even go on, I can't even begin to say how humbled I am.  I absolutely adore this community and these amazing folks who put it all out there. The good, the bad & the ugly right alongside the hysterical, the happy and the goofy. I've learned so much from these amazing people (I hesitate to say women, because I've got some male bloggies too)

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!  Smoochies!

As with all Blogging peer awards, there are rules attached.  On a normal basis, I can be all about the "tis better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" rule - however, I love the opportunity to get to know each and every one of you amazing people!  (YES, I really do read ALL the blogs - ask hubby)  

The Rules:

1.  Thank and link back to the awarding blog.

2.  Answer seven questions.

3.  Provide 10 random factoids about yourself.

4.  Hand the award on to 7 deserving others.  (I love everybody, this will be tough)

Q AND A:

#1. What is your favorite song?

My all time favorite is by my all time favorite... Silver Springs by Stevie Nicks.

#2. What's your favorite desert?

Any type of Italian pastry!

#3. What do you do when you are upset?

It all depends upon my level of upset.  If I'm mad, I ignore everyone.  If I'm really mad, I speak to no one and I cook and clean like a mad woman.  If I'm totally pissed off, I will do so while slamming doors, cabinets, dishes, etc.  It's not pretty.

#4. Which is your favorite pet?

I am in love with my princess kitty, Salem.  She is just like my child & by my side at all times.  In this particular picture - she is draped across my lap.  Love her!

#5. Which do you prefer, White or Whole Wheat?

Whole grain, but if I can only choose between the two, Whole Wheat

#6. What is your your biggest fear?

I think most of us mommy/parent folk have the same fear - losing our babies in any way.  I am always frantically checking to be sure bedroom windows are locked at night, that they're safe & buckled in.  I worry about all of the outside stuff that I have no control over.
If anything happened to any of my kids, I'd die.

#7. What is your attitude mostly?

For the most pat, I'm happy and in love with everyone.  I live my life in the positive.  I like to have fun, be totally silly & goofy.  I've lost a lot in my life, so I'm all about the "life is short, live each day like it was your last."  Smile and be happy!

10 RANDOM FACTS

1. I'm a Jersey girl - straight to the bone.  I live in the woods of Jersey.  Yep, there ARE woods in NJ.
I've got bear & all sorts of critter here.

2.  I' rather run right smack into a bear (as long as it's not a momma) than encounter ANY snake!

3.  I echo YKIHAYHT - I totally and completely despise mushrooms.  I'm fungus free & intend to stay that way.  Everything about them grosses me out - look, taste, texture..YUCK!

4.  I do not care what bodily function kids have.  I can deal with it all - but don't ever talk to me about anything that goes on inside your mouth.  I just threw up a little thinking about it.  Dental work of any kind freaks me out & the "A" word (abscess) will make me vomit now.

5.  I met my hubby online.  Not at any kind of dating site & not on purpose.  He was the product of a wine drinking, male bashing, girls night.  He was an awesome sport!  We met after a few weeks of chatting online & have been together ever since.

6. I am a total and complete shoe whore!  I will buy shoes that I know I will never wear just because they are pretty.  I have tried to convince my hubby to make me a Lucite shelving system, but he vetoed it.  Bummer...

7.  I've been completely on my own since I was 18 years old.  I screwed up A LOT, but I managed to stay alive, learn a lot of great lessons that have shaped the person I am now!

8.  My first job was at 13.  I delivered newspapers.  I've been working ever since & I have always loved to make my own money.

9.  I'm the suckiest liar on the planet!  I used to lie all the time when I was younger.  Mostly because I had issues.  I'm pretty sure everyone knew I was full of crap.  Now I can't be bothered.  I'm not smart enough to keep up with it all.  I prefer the truth and I can remember that.

10. I almost bought the farm a few years back.  Prescription medication almost killed me.  The doctors didn't catch it & kept prescribing me the meds that were killing me.  If I weren't proactive in my care - I wouldn't be here and blogging right now.  I thank God for this every single day!

Now...I have to pass this on to 7 other bloggers...
I'd love to award everyone, because I love you all!
 

This was not easy for me - AT ALL, and this is the part that took me the longest getting this together!
I wanted to honor newer bloggers - but I also want to honor  & show love to those who I've gotten so much inspiration from.  So here we go in random order.

The Award Goes To...

1.  My Upside Down Life:  I feel she's a kindred spirit.  I read her blog & wonder how she got into my life!  I love that she can put it all out there.  Even the tough stuff!

2.  My Group Therapy Another fun, supportive blogger! 

3.  FireandRabbits: Such a cutie & self proclaimed "off the radar" Blogger, let's give her some lovin'

4.  The Authentic Life:  Another Jenn!  She's always going out of her way to interact & help to support other blogs.  I hope to support her as well.

5.  The  Real Housewife of Santee:  She just cracks me up!  Great soul with an real, honest blog!  Amazing online friend - wonderful, supportive, sweetheart!

6.  Carrie's Experimental Kitchen: Carrie is my real life, honest to goodness friend.  I credit her with helping me to start my blog & she has been an amazing support ever since.  Car, I love ya!  Please go check her out - her recipes are amazing.

7.  I'm splitting #7 between FOUR other amazing bloggers who I've gotten so much inspiration and support from.  I know I'm breaking the rules BUT...

The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess:  The ever gracious & wonderful DG - Love, Love,Love her!  She puts it out there as she sees it & she's an amazing support.
People I Want to Punch in the Throat:  Amazing and honest blog.  Someone who's given me great words of advice and support.  Love her writing & happy to have found her.
 I Want a Dumpster Baby:  One word...ADORABLE.  This is one amazing woman.  She's been through hell and back & is so amazingly genuine!  Love her!


and last but certainly NOT least...the one to honor me with this award.
Thank you for your kindness and support.

 You Know it Happens at Your House Too
 
I  absolutely love this blogging community and am humbled and grateful to receive this award.  I am honored to be able to pass it along!  Be sure to check her out as well!  You'll be glad you did.

Have an amazingly wonderful weekend!

Every day is a chance for a new start - make it a great one!

As always, Thank you for reading my blog!

Smoochies :)

~Jenn

Eleven Years Together and We Never Had a Fight....

Well, that may not be exactly true...

What is true is that eleven years ago today, I married my best friend in a total whirlwind on a Thursday afternoon.  Yes, Thursday!

Before I met my husband, I was this single mom working my butt off trying to keep it all together.  I'd already gone to visit one of the loves of my life and left it where it was for reasons I'd rather not get into.

I met my husband by chance.  On AOL.  Not in a chat room, but in the midst of a wine drinking, male bashing girls night.

It just clicked immediately.  We both knew that this was where we belonged.  We decided on Monday that we were going to get married.  We applied for our license, grabbed just a few family members & got married at City Hall on Thursday.  We had a giant pig roast under a tent in our back yard a couple of months later.  Exactly as we wanted it.

He decided to take on this mess of a woman that I am.  He became my friend and my partner.  He's loved me through the toughest of times.  Through the sickness and subsequent loss of my second dad (I refuse to refer to him as my step dad).  Through my brother dying.  Through the rebellious years of my teenaged son, which I don't even know how we survived.  Through my illness.  His strength has carried me through times I can't even discuss online.  He's just loved me through.  One day at a time.

I am so incredibly and wonderfully blessed to have this man and our marriage.


I thank God for sending him to me & to all of our friends and family who have supported us along the way.

Happy Anniversary honey!  I love you!

Thank you all for reading this tribute to my hubby!

Have a wonderful and amazing day!

~Jenn

Don't worry, I'll tell ya....

You never have to wonder where you stand with me.

I'm not shy - I'll say what I have to say and be done with it.

If I love you - you'll know it and if I'm mad or I don't particularly care for you- you'll know that as well.  I don't hold back how I feel in any direction.

I prefer to keep to myself most times until I'm comfortable in a situation.

People who don't know me think I'm conceited because I keep to myself.  Whatever.

Once you get to know me, you realize that's not AT ALL who I am.  I prefer my "Own Private Idaho" because I can't deal with the nit picky nonsense that goes on around me.

I'm not going to pretend to like you if you appear mean spirited.  I will be cordial - but we won't be having coffee dates and I won't play "the game."

No offense.  Would you rather I pretend?  No, I didn't think so.

I appreciate the same courtesy.  If you have a problem with me - tell me.  Let's get it out there.  If we're meant to be friends - fabulous, let's hash it out and move on.  If not - let's know that too - I'm good.  I don't like the phoney baloney game.

Please do not mistake my silence & solitude for idiocy.  I'm always taking it all in.  Observing what's going on around me.  Assessing a situation.  Deciding if I want to be a part of it.

Most times, my quiet observance has done me well.

And when it doesn't....  Don't you worry, I'll tell ya...

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

PS.  To my darling, dearest sweetie love...this isn't about you xxoo
I love ya more than my luggage :)

As Seen On TV - I must close my eyes, I must close my eyes...

I, my friends, am a complete and total sucker to infomercials...

Seriously, I've got a Steam Shark, the regular Shark, a bunch of those Choppers, multi hangers.... More crap than I can even post because I'm a sucker.

Can you see the brightly shining sucker beacon from there?  I'd be surprised if you didn't.

You, Yes, YOU Jenn - I can see your sucker beacon from here

Salespeople see me coming a mile a way and start rubbing their hands together and licking their chops like I'm a freshly served up meal.

It all started at the tender age of 18.  My dad died a few months before & I was living alone - pre room-mate.

Well hello, Jenn... Can in interest you in a Kirby?

Ding dong... Kirby sales man at my door, big blue eyes and cute as a button.  At that time, I was young & naive - sure, come on in...  didn't strike me in the least that I was home alone.  Let's just let this strange door to door sales person come in just because they asked to.

Ok, so he demonstrates the vacuum - throws dirt on my floor, vacuums my couches & does a damn good job at showing me what an absolutely awful housekeeper I was. 

Truthfully, he had me at hello batting those the big blue eyes in my direction.  SUCKER!

Of course, I became the proud new owner of a Kirby Vacuum Cleaner all for the handy dandy price of $600 - which, my friends - comparatively is a steal these days.  At 25% financing through Beneficial Finance...  Yeah score... Ugh.

Can I just tell you.... I STILL have that vacuum cleaner!  Not only is it still functional - but I've been offered real money, several times for it!  It's heavier than heck - but it will suck a golf ball through a garden hose & spit it back out shiny and clean!  Pffft, who's the fool NOW???

Sadly subsequent purchases haven't been so fabulous.  The Shark, that I mentioned above, wasn't all that.  I think I paid $80 for it and scrapped it at a garage sale for $20.

Currently, I've gone way to the "Tummy Tuck Belt".  I'm prepping for my vacay to Costa Rica and would like to look halfway decent in a bathing suit...  I'll keep you posted.

After all, how could you go wrong REAL PEOPLE, NOT ACTORS did the infomercial!  Why would I ever think they'd lie??

...to be continued

Thank you for reading my blog!

Make it a wonderful day!

~Jenn

More Advice for the Single Men

A while back I published a post For Men: Cool vs Creepy - A Woman's Point of View

Having been around some single men lately and have been randomly annoyed, I'd like to add some more advice to my original list.

Disclaimer:  I'm a married woman.  I'm no longer in the singles market, THANK GOD!  These are just my observations.  I do have a fairly keen eye to spot the things that tend to be annoying, and trust me - I pick up on quite a bit.  I am not directly aiming this at anyone, so don't take offense if you think I am.  You're not the only guy sporting these behaviors, hence my list.

I don't exactly know why I chose to write this in the first person, but here goes...

I know you're all on your very best behavior when trying to impress that special lady, but we all know that at one time or another - the curtain will come down & we're all revealed for who we really are.  Even if you're not trying to "impress" lets play nice anyway.

So to continue:

Men, if you are out with grown women - the line, "sorry, all I've got are hundreds" or "I make too much money" is not necessarily impressive.  If you're looking to get mugged out in the parking lot, then by all means - have at it.  That ranks right up there with "I've got a really cool car."

Personally, I make my own money.  I don't need your big fat wallet to come save the day.

How about being a nice guy instead & open the car door for me when you see I'm struggling to get out?

Ball busting??  Save that for the guys, please.  If we're trying to engage in male conversation, please don't cut us down or make us feel stupid for trying to do so.  Give us kudos for at least trying.

Oh, and learn to understand "woman speak".  If you see me standing there freezing my butt off, don't ask me if I want your jacket.  OF COURSE I want your jacket & OF COURSE I'm going to say no ... just put your jacket over my shoulders & help warm me up.

You will be rewarded.

Yes, we do talk a lot.  As long as WE are your option - you may as well get used to it.  Most of us know you're not paying full attention anyway.  A simple smile, head nod & a God you're beautiful will suffice.  A little chocolate & red wine never hurt either. 
See:  No Honey, that's not the fan. I'm speaking

Do NOT ignore us!
Just because YOU aren't interested in what we have to say, blatantly ignoring us will just serve to piss us off!  That will never end well.  At least pretend to be interested - there will not be a test at the end.  You don't need to hang on every single word, though it would be nice.

We are ALL pains in the asses in our very own special way.  Deal with it.  Again, as long as it's the female species you're going for - you will deal with our very own special brand of "pain in the ass."

Don't fart, PLEASE.  Yes, we know everyone farts - but there really is a time and place for everything.

Your farts DO stink and we CAN smell them.  Down the road, if it gets there - it all comes out in the wash - but not now & especially not in a restaurant.  Sheesh, go to the men's room!

Regardless of what you may think - we woman folk really not all that difficult to please.  All we really want is to be treated with love & respect.  Tell us we're beautiful, treat us like a princess & all will be well.  When in doubt, red wine & chocolate will do the trick.  Just don't forget the beautiful part.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

*Additional Disclaimer:  Since I did write this so quickly after seeing two very good male friends, I should clarify, this is not about not either of you :)  Any similarities you may see are purely coincidental!  You know I think you guys walk on water!

For the men: Cool / Cute vs. Creepy - a woman's point of view

I've felt compelled to put this out there - well, because sometimes I get a little creeped out.

I'm married - obviously not dating or looking to date.
I'm definitely a member of the been there / done that club AND believe it or not, I still get hit on.  (Yeah, baby - she's still got it!)

Guys, this is for YOU... 

At this point in my life, I've figured out that you man folk don't get us women AT ALL.

I'm sure you've all realized that men & women do not think at all alike. With that in mind, someone needs to let you know the things we know that there is a difference between what we women view as cute or cool and what comes across as creepy....

The first one, and one of the things that creeps ME out the most - using the word Ciao (and thinking you're really hot for doing so)  Unless you are in Italy or Spain, Italian or Spanish is your first language, or you are from a European country that actually uses the word Ciao - using it here is creepy, not cool.  (I can feel a little vomit coming to the back of my throat now)  I know there are way worse things.  Personally - Y U C K !

Second creepiest thing to me - Winking & shooting your finger at us - totally creepy - completely uncool and downright dorky!  Find another method!

Also, winking can go either way depending on the wink & the accompanying look.

You think hot.  We see THIS

A cute smile and nod is ok.  Hungry eyes and a glaring smile - CREEPY!  We don't see things the way you do - it's not hot it's creepy - don't do it!

We don't want or need to hear right off the bat that you have a really hot car...

For immediate conversational purposes, we care that you're straight, employed & have a car to drive yourself where you need to be...  (not living with mommy also a plus)

If you get beyond that and there's chemistry - the rest might be cool - otherwise it just sounds kinda creepy and desperate.

Don't EVER tell us you're superficial & will trade us in when we're 40 for 2 - 20 year old's!
You may be joking - but our brain immediately fast forwards to that time & we see ourselves 10 (or how ever many) years older, 20 lbs heavier with 2+ kids, bills to pay and then the jackass strands us to runs off with his hot 20 something.  Even if she was totally smitten, those words are the kiss of death, I assure you.

You have amazing child bearing hips...

By the same token, don't start sizing us up for the whole enchilada either...  We get spooked too, ya know!  We may want the kid & family package - but let's wait on that, shall we?  We don't need to hear how we'd make the perfect mother to your children within the first 30 seconds - or 30 days for that matter!  (this is subjective, though)

Honesty is always the best policy.  We'd rather be slapped with brutal honesty than dragged around from the back of your really hot car by lies & end up in the same spot we started from.

We also don't care about how many conquests you have under your belt.  Save that for the guys.  We really don't want to know.  Not only do we NOT want to hear about it - but we think it's gross & creepy.  (and secretly wonder if there will be STD's involved)

Boyish charm - very cute.  Needing to ask your mommy for approval of every decision you make as a grown man CREEPY.  Yes, we want you to love your mommy.  I know my son better love me forever, but does the name Norman Bates mean anything to you?

Since I've been happily married for quite a while now - I felt it was time to pass on this plethora of womanly insight to the men who may be reading.

Please fee free to pass this information on to the single men you may know who may desperately need it!

To my single ladies, you're welcome!  If anyone's going to put it out there - you should have known it would be me!

Guys, if you're not too shell shocked, please feel free to check out...More Advice for the Single Men.

Thank you for reading my blog!


~Jenn

(Revised & Revamped from November 7, 2011)
** Disclaimer...If the person who threw me the trade a 40 for 2-20's line is reading, no offense.  It's all in good fun, besides, my hubby threw me the "really cool car" line... (insert eye roll)  Smoochies.  **

Chasing dust bunnies.....

My sister-in-law & I were having a conversation a few weeks ago about my mother-in-law & how she keeps having to fire her housekeepers.

I totally get that, because I've fired many a housekeeper. (and I'm at it again)

Now you have to know my mother-in-law.  Unlike my spoiled little self, my mother-in-law is NOT a "have a housekeeper" type of woman.  She's always been a very hardworking mom and wife, who's always cleaned her own home, and other people's homes.  She came from nothing & worked for everything her whole life.

I adore my mother in law!  She's a tiny, sweet, kind, wonderful & humble woman, who has ALWAYS put EVERYONE ahead of herself.  The idea that she's even HAVING someone clean her house for her is amazing to me.  The fact is that she needs help & we're all too far away! (and she wouldn't let us help anyway, she'd be too busy feeding us)

Up until about 4 years ago, I always cleaned my own house.  Then I got sick, and I work & I often have many kids in my house.  So when I come home from work, I'm tired.  I take care of and spend time with my family.  Cleaning house isn't exactly tops on my priority list - but I like a clean house.

When I first got sick I genuinely could not lift my head up off the pillow, nevertheless clean my house - so I had to call someone in to do the things I couldn't.  But there I was, looking up and seeing the dust - still on my ceiling fan and the dust bunnies still running around under my baseboards & I was secretly wondering - did she even bother to clean under the couch???  Well, of course not -- so there I was - sick as a dog - AFTER the house cleaner left & I've already paid her, on my hands and knees chasing dust bunnies & scrubbing floors.  I wondered, why the heck am I paying someone to do less than what I am doing now...

Believe me,  I've gone the whole hiring a housekeeper route... I've had Merry Maids, Molly Maids, Polish women, Spanish women, local businesses - and there really isn't anyone who can clean my house like I do.  Or just flat out clean it!  I can wipe stuff down too!  Take some soap and water to that bad boy, that's what I'm paying for...

Is it really worth it for someone to just swish my toilet & wipe down my counter??  I want someone to do the BIG stuff - the stuff I don't want to do or don't have time to do:  Dust, scrub my floors, wipe down my cabinets, clean my windows, CLEAN my bathrooms & stove - feed me peeled grapes, tell me I'm beautiful & pour me wine - whoops, wrong fantasy....

I have a small house!  It's not all that big a project....  Why is that such a stretch for these people to get??? 

I've given up.  I'll keep my $ and go shoe shopping instead.

So if I don't answer the phone, please excuse me - I'll be running around in my Jimmy Choo's dusting ceiling fans, hopefully the wonderful Lucite shelving system my hubby will build me (ha, already Veto'ed) so I can view my pretty, pretty shoes & chasing dust bunnies.

Mom, I get it!!

Anyone know of a GOOD housekeeper???

Thank you for reading my blog!

Enjoy a wonderful day!

~Jenn