Thursday, October 25, 2012
I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now...
Yes, maybe that's a bit more than one line, but between that and another I heard on TV the other night, the mind has really been spinning. Yes, ignore the smoke & no, don't throw water - I'm OK.
If the title of this blog doesn't ring any bells for you, from the late 60's song "My Back Pages". (as performed by The Byrds in this clip)
Between "I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now." and another line I heard on TV I've really been thinking about life.
Of course it's a "life experience" thing.
The weight of the world, etc.
In the Bob Dylan song (as I feel it's meant to be interpreted) you're like this snotty know it all teen-ager or 20 something. You have the bull by the tail, knowing all you need to know about all you need to know - full cup... and all that. Now, you're this adult - who looks back and laughs at how much you DIDN'T know at all.
For me, it's the mental image of having the weight of the world on my shoulders at such a young age. I'm definitely "younger than that now."
Although I'm SURE I was a smart ass, know it all 20 something, I had quite a bit of actual life experience & knowledge to back it up.
Stuff I learned way too young.
When I was growing up, I was forced to be older than my years. Just life stuff that I don't want to dredge up for fear that someone, who's feelings I don't want to hurt, may be reading. The fact is that at from 7 years old on, I was the main care taker of my younger siblings. I was washing, feeding and caring for them on a regular basis. Where ever I went, they went.
I didn't have a real opportunity to participate in organized sports as I'd wanted - or at least not on a regular basis.
I gave up quite a bit. Things you'd expect to give up as a parent.
I was, truly, old before my time.
On the other hand, I missed out on some really important elements of childhood. Things you can never get back & some times much of the reason that I act out in totally immature ways now, as an "adult".
I don't plan on changing that - because I have a great time being 12. Most of my friends enjoy it as well... hubby, well - not so much sometimes, but he does find the humor in it - so I get a pass.
Living vicariously through my kids - stopping to smell the roses.
Relieved that that weight that was so heavy on my shoulders, from life's crap, has been lifted.
That I've been able to sift out the crap & just live.
I hope you are too!!
Shed those extra 100 years of stuff and go be 12!
You'll be happy you did!
Big Fat Smoochies!!