It didn't really feel all that different to me while I was going through it. It just was.
I knew what to expect. The schedule was more consistent to me than anything else in my life at the time.
My dad was AWESOME. He never, ever missed a weekend with us. He was there every Friday night - 5:30 PM on the dot or earlier, ready to get us. It was hard for my dad to be without us during the week. He genuinely loved us & enjoyed spending the time with us.
It is for this reason that I don't understand why some parents (and I'm not just talking dads here) would reschedule or miss visits with their kids altogether.
The precious time allotted just for them and their kids...disposable?
Instead of being thrilled to have the time, they're complaining about having to make concessions.
Get over it, this is your kid!
*NEWSFLASH* Your kid? They are making concessions too! Have you noticed that at ten years old a child genuinely has a social life? They have friends & sports. They have events and parties to go to as well. And ya know what - they'll throw it all aside at any time, just for an hour with YOU - their parent!
Sadly, I know both sides of this particular coin. Not only was I a divorced kid - but I was also a divorced parent.
My son's father & I divorced when my son was 5 years old. I was then thrown into the other side of the visitation schedule. The side that I didn't know about when I was a kid.
It was then that I learned my parent's side of it all.
I learned the pain my mother must have felt when I decided I wanted to live with my dad, coupled by the pain of my child not wanting to see me every weekend because of friend commitments. I learned the joy of my child wanting to come back home & felt the compassion for how his father must have felt when my son came back home less than a year later.
I WAS the kid who was torn between two parents and I became the mom who tried to make the adjustment smooth for my son. No matter how painful, difficult, annoying or inconvenient it was to me.
As a foster parent I see a lot. On more than one occasion, I've seen a child sit on the front porch - or peering out a window for hours waiting for a parent to show up. I've seen the look of despair in a child's eyes when the parent is late and doesn't call and when the parent doesn't show up at all.
I wasn't the kid waiting on the front porch for 3 hours waiting for my dad to show up. My dad showed up!
Parents need to show up....
So that when your child hears "See ya on the weekend, kid" - they can believe that you will actually see them on the weekend.
Be present.... SHOW UP!
Thank you for reading my blog!!