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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Paying it forward....

You may call me a do-gooder...I've been called worse, and believe me - I'm not always fabulous, nor am I always a do-gooder.

The fact is that people have been kind to me in this life, and that makes me happy.

I've had my share of crap on a plate and I didn't like it much when I was forced to eat it.

Luckily, there always seemed to be a kind soul reaching out to help me - in real life and in this blog-isphere.

For this reason, I find it important to pay it forward. To do something of equal or greater importance for someone else, no matter who it is.  No matter why.

Most times it's easy to do something nice for a stranger.  You don't know them, they don't know you - it's all good.  How is it trying to pay it forward to someone close to you?
Eh, eh, eh - easy there.... I'm not done.  Not just someone close to you - but someone close to you who's done you wrong...

Hmmmm - that's a whole new ball game, isn't it?

It's a ball game that has recently been placed in my lap.  Yes - I love to help out my fellow page folk on Facebook.  I love to help kids who need help, my friends, my family - whoever needs it.  I'd do most anything for anyone - EXCEPT for the person who tore me to shreds.

I call it lessons learned.

Recently my son has given me some stuff to think about.  Hmmm - go figure that my darling offspring wants to do good like his momma, and in his eyes for his momma.

This is how it feels to me.
(unbeknownst to my son)
Ya know that stuff that you think that you've long buried back behind the garage when no one was looking??  THAT stuff - the family stuff.  Stuff that's been happily left behind.  Stuff that my darling dearest child doesn't like buried.
Stuff he wants to fix.

Ohhhh to be young and un-jaded.
I remember those rose colored glasses.  They fit nicely.  Life was beautiful all the time.  (and I'd be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats...)  Family loved and supported each other and no one tries to hurt each other.  Sounds nice, doesn't it?

I can't blame my son for wanting the Beaver Cleaver family.  He doesn't know some of the stuff that went on. The stuff I've sheltered him from.  I've done my best to raise him up in a way that would make my dad proud and try to create the little peace, love and tie dye world that my daddy wanted me to see.
I hid the drama from him.  I supported him, helped him to grow & deal with the crap that got thrown at him - while sheltering him from the crap.

I then gave him the tools to become a strong minded individual.

Now, my strong minded individual is bringing it back to me.

I understand it - completely and totally and it scares the ever living crap out of me.  Why??  Dejavu....  It's me 20+ years ago - wanting to bring the family back together.  To get everyone to love each other again.  Kiss, kiss, hug, hug....  Let's just say it didn't work out so well.

It IS much easier to pay it forward to those you don't know as well.  To those people who may be absolutely amazing individuals in real life - or total dogs.  I don't know.  I don't need to know.

All I really know is that in this little blog-isphere, you're good to me -
I'm good to you.  If I like you / love you, I'll do all I can for you.  No drama - just good feelings.  Just happy.

Because I do, genuinely in this little blog-isphere and in real life, want the very best for everyone. You bet I'll keep paying it forward!!

Thank you for reading around & hopefully through this to get where I was going with this.

If not, thank you for reading anyway :)

Big smoochies!!



  1. Very well said, love! If we could all have amnesia, it would be easier. Since we can't, I just try to put a band aid on my heart & move on. Big, big smooches!!!

  2. You seriously are like the nicest person in Bloggyland. I don't mean that in a plastic way. I know that you aren't perfect just like the rest of us, but your effort to be a good person does truly shine through on these interwebs. And I seriously don't want you to take this the wrong way (cause I don't mean it in an age way) but you remind me so much of my mother. You look similar, you have a certain gentle way about you. It's comforting and refreshing at the same time. All I can say is just never stop being you. It would be a tragedy. <3 smootchies <3

    1. Thank you, Jesi :) That is incredibly sweet! I don't take it the wrong way, at all - I understand. However, I would also accept the "really cool auntie" :) This way I could be like 27 hee hee xxooxxoo


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