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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Go pick on someone your own size!

As long as I do this, I don't think I'll ever completely get the hang of this & get a full grasp on what some of these little kids have endured.

With my own kids, I know what their basic imprint is & what their life experience has been to date - at least inside our home.  Other kids, it's a whole new ball game.

I'm generally very soft spoken & gentle with the kids.  I'm tough - well strict, but they always know that they're loved.  Don't get me wrong - I'm by no means mommy of the year.  I totally lose my cool from time to time & raise my voice.  That totally gets their attention, at least it gets my kids' attention.  They snap right to attention & know I mean business.  With this little one - not so much.

She's a really sweet & good little girl, but this kid has been through more than I can understand or relate to.  Some of her stuff, I get.  As I'd said in the past - I didn't have a stellar home life growing up - but I also wasn't physically abused.  At least not that I acknowledge.

I'm not a hitter.  I don't feel it necessary.  Like I said, I'm pretty strict - tough & tender.  I was a single mom to my son for a long time & I had to be both mom & dad - it just carried forward.  It's what works for me.  Raising my voice, if I needed to, had always been enough.

Now with this little one, I'm pretty shell shocked for lack of a better term.  She has melt downs daily, sometimes many times a day.  Nothing I can't handle, really - been there, done that - but it's tiresome.  This morning it was about her hair.  I braided one side of her head & wanted to clip it back to make a pretty hair style & she flipped out.  No trigger - she just flipped.  I remained calm & gently told her to go sit on her bed until she calmed down & started to lead her to the room.  She threw herself onto the floor & looked at me with fear in her eyes screaming as if she were waiting for a beating.  Holy crap!
The only thing I could think of to do was to walk away & let her scream it out.

After she was done, she came to me and hugged me.  We talked about what happened.  I wanted to be very sure that she understood that neither I or anyone else in our house would ever hurt her.
How do you get used to that kind of thing? 

Abuse is something I still can't wrap my head around - especially when you're looking at this little person who is just so beautiful and good & just wants to be loved.

All kids can be a total pain in the butt!  That's their job, but beating them into submission?  I'll never understand that.  It makes me sad and upset to see someone so little expect to be abused, because that's what she's used to.

It's hard, in this day and age, to be aware of things.  Some things are blatant and we still miss them.  Most of the time we want to mind our own business.  What's the right thing to do?  I'm surely still learning.

"I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier..." ~Whitney Houston - Greatest Love of All

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