Greetings from Gringa Land....

If yesterday's little preface didn't clue you in that today I'd be blogging on my recent "home invasion" - well then you're surely in for a treat.

I'm being totally sarcastic...  While, yes - I do have extra people in my home - it's really not so bad.

Three quarters of the stress and anxiety, along with stress related illness, is completely and totally brought on by the pressure I put on myself for everything to be absolutely perfect.


That's me - I flip out and stress and get all wound up, my husband yells at me for being such an uptight biotch and then I cry.  It's really a vicious cycle brought on by me, myself and I in the quest of mere perfection...

Why after all these years is this not understood yet??

The only acceptable statements are yes dear & how can I help?  Any questions or further comments will only drive me further into the self created tizzy which I'm already deeply caught up in.

I digress... If you've been traveling through my little bloggie world - you've noted that we've got familia in from Costa Rica for the next couple of weeks.  Truth be told, they are a delight & their little one is just the cutest thing.  BUT - yo no hablo espanol.  Soy GRINGA!  I do my best, but you can only say - "Quiere cerveza?" so many times before the non drinkers get annoyed with the question.  -- No, no, I'm not that bad, lol...  But close!

I'm a little punchy today (I'm writing this on Monday morning for Tuesday).  I've had lots of people in my house consistently since Saturday.  About 9 extra total & at random with an increasing number of people at any given moment.  I really do love to have everyone around, but strive continually for the line of perfection that is just slightly beyond my grasp UGH!

Did I mention that I am out of my element?  I do not come from a big family.  We didn't have big family gatherings & I spent more time taking my brothers away from the dysfunction than hanging around to watch it.

Large gatherings are still a lot for me to take on, but I never say no & deep down - I want to be good at this.

Luckily, I was not instantly alone in my Gringa-dom.  My beautiful sister in law came to my rescue with muffins & extra fixin's, as well as an ear for Americana when I needed to drink & freak out a little.

I am still a little totally stressed as I type this.
My mornings are rushed with the girls as it is, and I do still have to work.  I had depended on my other sister in law to pick up the family for the day today while I'm at work, but got a text at 8 am saying she wasn't going to make it.  So in the midst of breakfasts for the girls, dressing for school, lunches for the girls, prepping for tonight's dinner, tossing in a few loads of laundry while I am able, getting coffee / breakfast set up for our guests when they wake & straightening up to have things so they can be comfortable in my absence, I mentally melted down a little bit.
And again....I work!

...which is where I realized.... I have not set out or prepared anything for lunch for our guests.  I did not expect them to be unattended to....  Hubby's not so worried.  No food, noooooo problem..  They'll make due.  UGH..


So here's where I am at this very second...

At work, stressing over dinner in the crock pot, trying to remember to stop off at the grocery for last minute dinner crap, get the short one off the bus, pick the older up from Girl Scouts & somehow remember to provide an interim meal for my day long starving house guests at my return home.

Regardless of how this may sound, I do truly enjoy them, and they are very good guests.
Let's see where my stress will bring me tomorrow.

Stay tuned....  This is only Day #2

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

PS.  Thank you to my wonderful girlie, Patty, for coming to my rescue & delivering subs to my poor starving family yesterday :)  Love you!!  xxoo

Would you push the do-over button?

My friend, Carrie @ Carrie's Experimental Kitchen, gave me some great fodder for my blog today.

If you had full access to a Do-Over button, but could only use it once - would you use it?

Think carefully before you hit that little button full on!

Think of all the repercussions of a total Do Over...

The things that you love in your life now - Poof - May not even be a possibility...

Oooh...  The things I'd like to erase.
Trust me - I've been no saint in my little life.  I've got stuff that I'm not so proud of, that I sometimes think I'd like to do over in a different way.  Just a little do over... but it's all or none.

The fact is - I know that I'd screw it up.  Guaranteed!

At the touch of a button, my world would disappear and I'd get a total do over.

Would I not have dated so & so?  Yes, I certainly would have!  I'm quite sure I wouldn't have acted much differently either.  I am who I am.  So there's - one down.  Would I have done this or that?  Some stuff I should have foregone - but good lessons.  (and great stories)  I may not have married X - but then, if I didn't, I wouldn't have my child and I may have never met my husband.  That's an awfully big chance to take.

My life would certainly have been very different.  I might not have been trolling the internet with my friend, Robin & I might have been in a whole other state doing something completely different.

My life, as I know it - may not exist at all.  How sad.

My life paths have ended up pretty close to the same place - just with a few detours and bumps in the road along the way.

I do know I wouldn't take the chance of not meeting the cross roads that led me to where I am today.

I would not push the button, because I know - that along with all the bad stuff, and poor decisions I may want to erase - I would also miss out on the joy and the wonder a well.

For sure, I wouldn't change a thing.

So, how about you?  Would YOU push the do-over button?

It's always a coin toss

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Feeling Purpley for Lupus Awareness Day

May is Lupus Awareness month, and today May 10th is World Lupus Awareness Day.

Whilst I was trying to be witty and unique composing today's entry, I found the slide show (listed below) on You Tube that I though was amazing and perfect...

Clearly, I'm not nearly as witty and unique as I tried to be - one of my fellow bloggers got to it before me...  So Torie @ live, love, laugh and of course dance, I swear I'm not copying...  :)

I can't imagine that she'd be upset by the like minded posting.  We are like sisters in Lupus trying to get the same point across.

If you are living with Lupus, know or love someone with Lupus or don't even know what the hell Lupus is...  This "video" is truly moving & hits the nail right on the head.

Please click link below for You Tube slide show:

The 5 Stages of Lupus 

I feel incredibly blessed to be in a decent place at the moment.
I can honestly tell you that I can relate to almost every thing in this little video.  I have pain, sometimes so bad I can't stand it.  I've been to the point where I was pretty sure that was it, and still managed to come out the other side.  I've been doubly sick & a total whack job due to medication.  I've had nasty rashes, severe mood swings - and I've fought like crazy to not be crazy.  I sometimes itch and swell - break out in bruises in the weirdest places and still function.  Because I HAVE TO!


I don't like to be in the direct spot light.  I don't like to be the "wonderful one" or the "brave one" or the one hearing the "good for you" - I'm just me.

So this isn't for me, it's is for everyone else.

For the fighters, and the amazing support system that look at us "Lupies" and think "Wow, you don't look sick." but know we are and pick up the slack.  Thank you for being there and for being supportive, even when you're tired of it.
Thank you for NOT being yet another person to look at us and think "hypochondriac".

Yes - that does happen.

Thank you mostly for just being there, even during the times you are too tired yourself and sick of picking up the slack.  We know you're ever bit as tired of hearing about how sick we are as we are of being sick.  We know it's wearing & we know it's annoying.  You are truly loved and appreciated!

I'm done with my personal pity party.  I'm still here & I'm not going anywhere.  I may not be feeling top notch, but I'll be damned if anything is going to slow down this "little Jersey girl" (as my Missouri girlie calls me).

Even if you can't understand what it's like to be in "Lupie Land" - Please at least know that we will almost always feel tired.  We almost never feel "great" - but we do have "good days".  We will also lie when we are asked "how are you feeling?" because we know that no one wants to hear, "I feel like crap, but thanks for asking."
Not looking sick is pretty much a blessing - that's at least something to hang onto.

Won't you please love a "Lupie" Today?

Thank you for reading my blog!

Have a fabulous day!

...for my fellow Lupies, I wish you a "good day" with little pain

...and to my hubby - Thank you for putting up with my crap!  I love you!

Lost in translation...

Talk about freaking the heck out!

If you hadn't previously noticed, I'm a fairly accommodating human being.  I like for everyone to be happy and enjoy themselves.  Heck - I'm always up for a good time!  The more the merrier right?

So when my niece from Costa Rica emailed me asked if she & her family could stay with us for 2 weeks while she was visiting in the United States - OF COURSE I said yes!

Have I mentioned that I don't speak Spanish?  At least not well.  Ok, not even sort of well.  I jokingly refer to myself as Tia Gringa to my nieces and nephews in Costa Rica.  I try - it's just very, very sad.

Fortunately, most of our communication was done via email and Google translator.  I thought I hung pretty well with the whole conversation until this morning when I received this email (well snippets from the email leaving out detail).  "Hola Tia.  Salimos el sábado 12 Mayo, regresamos el 27 de Diciembre"

Does anyone else see what I saw??  Diciember?  DECEMBER!
Ahhhhhh

I freaked the heck out.  I immediately emailed my husband at work at 6 am.  How did this happen?  How could I have given the wrong idea?  Holy crap - 7 months.  How could I possibly have agreed to that?

Understand, I love my niece to death - but I don't want ANYONE and their little family unit visiting my home for 7 months!


No offense folks.  I partially lose my graciousness after day #4 as it is.  I will continue to cook for, and cater to everyone.  It won't take long until it gets to - thirsty?  Fridge is over there.  Help yourself.

Seven months would never, ever do!

You can imagine my relief to get the email that basically said,
"Oops - don't worry, Tia - I meant May."  Whew!

So now I'm calmly relaxing - one with my couch.  Nice cup of Chai Tea & my lap top.  Life is, once again, is as it should be.

I will be freaking out as the weekend comes closer & the family is getting set to arrive. 

While I do live by the more the merrier, I am still also a total perfectionist.  So I will be cooking & cleaning and preparing like a mad woman until they arrive and settle in.

For now...it's just me and my Chai - and all of you!

Thank you for always supporting me & for reading my blog!

Lots of love,
Jenn

Finally, separate rooms!

No, no - not the hubby and I.  The girls!

Believe me, I've been tempted at times - did I mention hubby could wake the dead with his snoring?  Refer to my Jeannie Bottle post for more on that one.  For now... it's the short ones.

No, we must not enter the room of the Kyle

After more than 5 months of keeping my dear, sweet son's room a shrine - just like he left it (but clean) I've decided to cave in and give the 9 year old back her own room and move the short one to my son's old room.

Let's face it - my son is in San Diego.  He's not coming back!  I wouldn't.  Sniff, Sniff.

The short ones were fighting relentlessly on Saturday
& that was it.

This one wants her privacy to change her clothes - the other wants her toys out of the room RIGHT NOW.  The door is locked, she's climbing on my bed, she's wearing my clothes, she's touching my stuff, it's her mess not mine -- enough!

Did I mention I had a killer migraine on Saturday?  If I were able to even open my eyes to see them, there would have been big trouble!

Twit

On that, all day Sunday was spent moving the rest of Kyle's stuff to the basement or bins, whatever.  He's still got some drawers that will remain his forever & the law has been laid to NOT TOUCH Ky-Ky's stuff.  I moved clothes in, changed bedding, ironed curtains, took down manly posters & hung Justin Bieber (though not in the way I'd hoped, he irritates the crap out of me.)  Voila - girlie room.

At first the short one said she was afraid to sleep in the room alone.  She expressed her woes to the 9 year old, who didn't particular care what she had to say - she's out!  Then she took a peek.  She ran to the teenage twit on the wall & gave him kisses -jumped up onto her new bed -looked in the drawers and at her toys and her own space & fell in girlie love.

At bedtime last night, you'd think they were never going to see each other again.  Warm embraces - good night dear sister.  I love you and I will miss you. Good night little one - may you sleep tight & be well.  They bode each other a fond good night & set off to bed in separate rooms.

It was a thing of beauty!

Both girls slept well.

Neither woke during my mommy alone time.
(prior to 7 am)
I had to wake them.

All is right with the world!

I should have thought of this sooner!

Have a great day all!

As always, thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

No Phonies Allowed! Go Home, Beat it!

Wow, I have really begun to notice the amount of phony women around me lately!

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering if some people will get the wrong idea.  I have to say straight out, probably the direction I'm aiming isn't a reader.

I'm not alone here.  I know that ALL of us have come across the "phony friend".

The person who smiles in your face & tells you how wonderful you are & then trashes you the second you step aside.  YUCK!

As I've gotten older, my tolerance level has decreased and there's only so much I'm willing to tolerate.

Fortunately for me, I'm a stand back and observe type of person, before I decide if someone is actually my "friend."  I do genuinely love everyone.  That doesn't make everyone my "friend."  It makes them people I know & I love people.  I've learned my lesson about actual "friendships" years ago!

Luckily, my REAL friends are an amazing group of ladies (and some men).  They are mostly like minded individuals who just want to have fun.  They're real.  Genuine.  That is what I appreciate.  That ingratiates me to someone.  To know that they're not someone who talks "out of both sides of their face."

I won't tolerate the whole "tickity, tickity, tickity" behind your back & then dump buckets of  sunshine on you to your face.  I also DON'T appreciate walking up upon it when it's happening and one of my friends are the topic of the ick!

I'm real - and I don't play the game.  You will never, ever need to wonder where you stand with me.  I'll tell ya!  I expect the same courtesy.  Blunt, brutal honesty!

If you're my friend - you're my friend both to my face and behind my back. 

There's no mystery if I'm pissed - I will address it.  It may not be that second, or even that day (because if I really care about you, I like to think about what I'll say) but you can bet your bottom dollar that the situation will be addressed.  I may discuss it to another friend to calm down - but if I'm going to say it to her, I'm going to say it to you.  Exactly as I put it out there.  I feel it's the right thing to do, if you're a friend.

Yes, I know I can be a little rough with my delivery, but as I said - at least it's out there.  Once it's out there, I'm done!  I will always hope for quick reconciliation, but do understand that my delivery sometimes needs to be digested & perhaps discussed.  That's what friends do!

You can't hold it in & pretend!  At least I can't.

I will be your friend and I will love you and defend you and be there for you when you need me to be. 

Just don't pretend with me.  I'm a Jersey girl, I can take it.

Let's get it out there & real with each other!

We only go around once.

Let's play nicely in the giant sandbox.

If you want to be a meanie, take your toys & go home - before one of my other friends throws sand in your eyes!

Lots of love all!

~Jenn


To the mean girls:
Be nice to my friends!
Code for "Toys"

Once again, LOVE IS FOR EVERYBODY - even the gay ones! (rant)

Today's post is another one I pulled out my butt this morning, just because I'm so upset.

Right or wrong, I'm going to speak my mind and I am going to defend and support those I love and care for.  I believe it's the right thing to do!

Along with fostering, I also used to work with teens.  Although I don't do that in any regular or official capacity, I do have a special connection with the teens in my life, and if they need me, I'm here to listen to them and support them in any way I can.

I was met by a teen who was feeling suicidal and needed to talk.  Before I go further on that, yes - I know what to do in these instances & yes, I followed the proper protocol.

To continue, I listened to the fears of this person;  How they had been beaten, verbally abused and made to feel worthless because of their life "choice."

Yes, this teen is gay.

I did everything I could to find ways to make this person feel better, to bring them up emotionally - to let them know they ARE good & God loves us all.

Firstly, I'm not gay.  I'm a happily married heterosexual woman.  I'm Christian.  I go to church and I believe in what the Bible teaches.

I don't agree with fellow Christians using the Bible as a tool to slam others.

The Bible says, "Do unto others as I do unto you"

Luke 6:31

I think being LGBT homosexual is an incredibly difficult road to travel, but I am NOT going to turn my back on the people that I love who are gay, because they are gay.  I'm not going to tell them they're bad or wrong or that they're going to hell.  It's not my job to judge, it's God's.  I'm going to love each and every one of them, support THEM.

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." 

~Matthew 7:5

I made the "error" of openly showing my support to this child & my other friends/family on Facebook.  I say "error", because I had no idea how much hate my post would insight - and in the name of God.

Does this face ring any bells?

I had to delete the post completely for fear that this child would see those postings and further believe they are nothing and don't deserve to live.

Last I knew, none of us are perfect.  We are ALL sinners & we are ALL going to have to face God when we die.  Maybe God will be mad at me for defending "the homosexuals" OR maybe he will thank me for loving my brothers & sisters - regardless of who they are.  I don't know and neither do you, until your time comes.

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 

~John 13:34-35

Some of you called open support "drama".  Some of you have taken or will take offense to this postings.  I can't help you there.  I'm a strong minded, strong willed, loving, caring woman who wants to heal the world.  I can't imagine that I am the one that God is shaking his finger at.

Besides, there may be a day where I'm defending YOUR honor.

I may not be perfect, but neither are you!

God's Love is for everyone!  For you, for me - oh, and yes - even the LGBT community homosexuals too.


Maybe next time when you go to pick up that next rock to throw at the "different" person - check yourself & see how many rocks are getting ready to head your way.

So, as I end this - let me ask you...
If you found out tomorrow that someone/anyone took their life as a result of your response to my post - how would you feel?  Would you feel that you have completed God's mission?  That you've helped to further God's kingdom?  Would that be better for you?

...Or would giving God's love and acceptance be enough for you?

Thank you for reading my blog rant.


~Jenn