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Monday, January 28, 2013

Dear Me: Part 2 - You are worth it

 Everybody has insecurities of some sort, spurred on by the deep dark things in their lives that made them who they are & created certain fears. Visible or invisible.

I have mommy issues.
Yep, honest and truly - at my age I still have mommy issues.  Most of my issues, I'd ignored until the short one came into our home and I realized that she is a shorter version of me.  Well, parts of who I used to be.

NO, my mother was nothing compared to what her mother is (and that is a positive for me), but I get the short one's "stuff".  I get her insecurities and I get why I've done some of the things I've done in my life.
The things that I see her doing makes it all so clear to me now...

So part two, "You ARE worth it", is not only for my short one - but also for those of you out there with mommy issues or insecurities that you don't realize you have.  The things that give you that little twinge of the "I'm not good enough."

As a woman and a mom of girls, I get the importance of mother / daughter relationships.

There were many times in my life that I longed to have a bond with my mother.  I don't ever want my girls to feel they don't have a closeness with me.  I strive for this bond with them.

I wasn't always secure in my own skin.  Sometimes I'm still not, but I am who I am and I'm good with me.

When I was younger, I longed to be the daughter of a mommy who took an interest in me and my life.  Someone who taught me what it was like to not just be a woman, but to be a wife, a mom, a friend.  I longed to have the mother who believed in me, who wanted me to succeed.  Someone who did things with me and supported me.  Someone who told me I was good, strong and worth it.  Someone who was my biggest cheerleader.  Many of these things I had to figure out on my own and do for myself.

I'm not here to bash my mother.  We all have issues and she had her own mommy issues that made her who she is.  I get that.  I forgive that and I know that it's not my fault she didn't know what to do with me.

Seeing the short one's actions, I often get upset for her.  She is a very needy little person.  Very sweet - very affectionate and very love starved.  I see her vulnerabilities & others do too.

These are the types of issues that allow women like me, young girls like the short one and others in a similar position to settle for less than they deserve in their lives.  To twist yourself into a knot to gain the love and attention of someone, anyone.  Something that takes years to figure out that you deserve more - you are worth it.

I get this... If you don't feel you have the love or connection with the person who carried you into this planet - how could you possibly bond with anyone else?

Deep huh?

Listen, I KNOW that I was awkward as heck when I was younger.  I had my outward facade, but I didn't know how to mask it as much when I was young.  I could only carry the presentation so far until the weirdo came out.  This is the stuff I strive to save the short one from.  The things that I am trying to help her to get control over.  Not change her, but let her realize that not everyone will embrace her inner weirdo.  To not settle for less than she deserves.

That happens a lot you know...  I can remember hearing on the radio a while back, Howard Stern I believe, where he would say to go for the girl with the crappy home life because they're an easy mark.  Wow.  That sucks - but ya know what, it's that longing for love and acceptance that puts women in that vulnerable position.

Don't think for half a second that you're hiding it.  It's plain as day and will be there until you look in the mirror and decide - I DESERVE MORE.  I AM WORTH IT.

Getting over whatever it is that brought you to the point of feeling inadequate isn't always an easy road.
I settled many times through out my life.  I often accepted or settled for less, because for a very long time, I didn't realize that I deserved more.

Every single person on this planet has a purpose.  There may always be someone trying to knock you down - to tell you that you're "not".
I'm here to tell you that you ARE worth it.

Don't ever settle for less than what you strive for.  Don't believe those who tell you that you can't or that you are unable, unworthy, undeserving.

You ARE worth it!

As always, thank you for reading my blog!



  1. There's such a thin line between questioning what we do as a means to strive to do better, and letting that dissolve into insecurity. I think we all try to walk that line every day.

  2. This might be my favorite post of yours! Awesome message, very well-written. xoxo

  3. I love every word of this. Even though I have a teenager who is thankfully, very comfortable in her own skin and in letting her freak flag fly, I'm gonna share parts of it with her. :) Thanks!

  4. Hey. You are so right. I love this.. but not as much as I love u. Big hugs.

  5. Hey. You are so right. I love this.. but not as much as I love u. Big hugs.

  6. This post really hits home with me in so many ways! Thank you for putting it out there... I wish I could write like you...

  7. This one hits home hard. I have mommy issues, i was raised by my dad my mother walked out in us. I have my own insecurities. I was born with a deformity and have been made fun of and ridiculed. My whole left life. Ive never felt like i was more than a spec of dirt son was born. And i judt hope i can be a better mother to him than what was givin to me. I want him proud of his mom the way i'm proud of him. Thank you For your words of encouragement.


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