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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

If they're talking TO you, they're talking ABOUT you...

Often, while I was growing up, I was told - "Don't worry about what other people say about you."  That was usually preceded by - "They're jealous of you." or "They're insecure about themselves."

In my adult life, I have been more able to point out the "jealous" or "insecure" comments coming from other people, whether directed at me or another.

Sometimes, though - it just plain feels bad when you're on the receiving end.  Regardless of the reason you're being spoken about, jealousy or insecurity factors go right out the window when feelings are involved.



I try to be really good about not judging people.  Don't get me wrong -- I'm no saint - BUT I (mostly) keep my comments to myself, because - pfft - who the hell am I?  I have absolutely no business tearing someone else down.  I'm far from perfect.

I think that's one of the things that enrages me the most when other people do it.

I've been around this, often.  I try to ignore it.  I've often turned a deaf ear to it or tried to talk up the person being talked down just to make it stop.  It's speaks so much more of the person doing the yapping than the person being yapped about.  Eventually it gets to be so much that people start comparing notes and realize that they too have been on the chopping block.

There only ends up being one person on the outside looking in.


I mean - gosh....  I don't recall the sun rising and setting over anyone specifically.  Why would we believe for a second that we get to judge?

I'm no saint.  I've had my days of bashing and not being so nice.  It's something I've changed about myself because I got the "who the hell are you?" slap upside my head along with the very humbling, "You ain't all that, girlfriend."  I've also grown up and I genuinely care about other people and their feelings.


I have no time for bitterness and gossip or perpetuating nonsense.  I look at things for what they are and truly love everyone for who they are.  Not everyone is easy to love, but that doesn't give anyone else the carte blanche to tear them down.  I don't want to be around that!  Who does?

Check your ego at the door.  I'm incredibly sorry if you are insecure or jealous or whatever, but that's your problem.  No one else's.

Being kind matters.

It is always important to remember.... If someone is talking about someone else TO you, they are talking to someone else ABOUT you.

Just stop.

Be kind.

Enjoy your day!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

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Friday, April 26, 2013

It Works!! Wrap Review :)

Not me or my results - borrowed from internet.

It is my absolute pleasure to review the It Works! wrap for
Get Skinny with Roni.”

I first want to say, I was skeptical prior to trying this.  I had purchased a similar wrap on eBay.  It was NOT the same and it did not work!  Beware of this!  ONLY buy an It Works wrap from an It Works distributor, like Roni, or you may end up with an expired or even dried up wrap that does not work.

To give you a little about my background on me, I am a 47 year old mom with both Lupus and Hashimoto’s (thyroid disease).  I was heavily medicated at one time for the Lupus and I blew up like a wood tick.  I've been dieting and exercising like crazy.  Having an under active thyroid makes weight loss very difficult, combine that with Lupus and weight loss is even more difficult.

Because of all of my issues, I changed my eating habits completely and started kickboxing to lose weight and get healthy.  In doing this, I’ve lost 26 lbs over the past 7 months, which is great, but the skin on my tummy is now saggy and wrinkly.  This is why I chose to try the ItWorks wraps.  I wanted to tighten up my loose skin and maybe loose a few extra inches.

I prepared for the wrap by adding the Greens mixture to my morning protein drink.  I took my measurements, gathered my water and asked my daughter to take a picture of my belly.

The wrap was very easy to apply.  After smoothing on the wrap to get any air bubbles out and get a clean fit, I then wrapped cellophane around my mid-section to keep the wrap in place and continued about my business while 45 minutes passed.
*Do not exercise or work up a sweat with the wrap on.  That will inhibit the gel from getting into your system. *
The wrap had a nice cool feeling on my skin, sort of like icy hot and tingly - very comfortable.  I was also thirsty, so I was really happy I had my water ready.

One of the things to note is that you need to drink half your body weight in ounces of water after wrapping to help flush the toxins out of your body.  (ie:  150 lbs = 75 oz water or about  5 - 16 oz bottles of water.)  It’s a lot of water.  For me, this was easy because I felt thirsty while I was wrapped and drank 3 bottles of water right away.  Yes, I also had plenty of potty time.  :)  Stay close to the bathroom!  The water is not meant to help you flush water weight, but to flush the toxins out of your body.

After 45 minutes, I cut the cellophane to unwrap and rubbed the remaining gel into my belly.  I asked my daughter to take after pictures for me so that I could compare.

I was excited to see that there was a visible difference in the way my tummy looked.  The wrinkly, saggy areas are noticeably tighter and looked smaller than they had prior to being wrapped.  I also took my measurements and noted that I lost ¼ inch right away and a little more the next day and more the day after!  That may not seem like a lot to you, but for someone having Lupus and an under active thyroid weight loss is a struggle.  The positive results of this wrap are very exciting and exactly the boost I needed to move forward in my diet and exercise plan.

A couple of days later I weighed and measured again.  I noticed I lost 3 lbs and I had a total loss of 1 inch in my belly.

It is important to remember when you do this that results vary.  While some people will have dramatic results, others may take a few days.  Also, diet and exercise (and water) are always important to help maintain results.  Just like anything else – if you, for example, go on Weight Watchers and lose 30 lbs – then go off your diet and start eating ice cream sundaes every night for dinner – the results will fade quickly.  You need to eat right and continue to stay hydrated to maintain results.

I can honestly say that I will absolutely continue as a customer of Roni’s.  I am thrilled with my results and have order the Ultimate Wrap Pack.  I look forward to further tightening of my problem areas while I maintain my health program.

Roni did let me know that there is a really exciting special going on right now if you are someone who would like to start a business....

Ready?

Anyone signing up as a distributor by April 30th 2013 is eligible for a $10,000 bonus!!  April 30th is TUESDAY... so if you're interested, get in touch with her.

Super exciting, huh??


If you'd like to try an It Works wrap, you can purchase one from Roni:

Her Website:                 https://getskinnywithroni.myitworks.com/Home
Her Facebook Page:     facebook.com/wrapwithroni
Her Email:                    getskinnywithroni@yahoo.com

Roni, thank you for asking my opinion on this product!  I'm honored that you've asked me and I'm thrilled that I had such great results.  I can't wait to see how the next few go ... just in time for bare skin weather!

**Please note, The opinions and results of this review are mine.  I have not been paid for my review, nor am I a distributor or anyone who will benefit financially as a result of this review. I’m just a working mom who wants to feel good about herself.**

For everyone reading, Good Luck!!  I wish you a ton of success with this!!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Just a rant.....

Sometimes people seem to forget that just because someone has a secure exterior and seems tough doesn't mean that they are incapable of having their feelings hurt.

It means that they don't want you to see their vulnerabilities.  They hide their feelings to keep you from hurting them more.  They put on the mask.  They put on the suit of armor and they face it, maintaining their facade.

I'm over the top.  I get that.  Everything I do is... exaggerated, for lack of a better term.  I love big.  I give big.  I goof off big.  I try to do big things to make a difference for people - WITHOUT EXPECTING A RETURN.

I try to be a good person and be helpful.  It makes me feel good to help others.  For no other reason than to do good.

So when someone tears me down to my very being and tries to tell people that I'm "psycho" or "needy" or "phoney" it hurts my feelings.

Especially because I am none of those things.

Liking to keep people who mean something to me in my life doesn't make me a psycho stalker.  Being nice and trying to help people doesn't make me needy and standing up for myself or others I care about doesn't make me a bitch.

Maybe, before looking at me and pointing your finger - you should instead look in the mirror and look at the person YOU are.  Look at why YOU are where you are in your life that makes you feel that you need to drag others down to feel better about yourself.

None of what is said speaks of MY character - it speaks of yours.

I am flesh & blood - not Teflon.

Just because I continue to wear a smile and act appropriately doesn't mean I don't know what you've said, or done.  It means that I'm a bigger person.

No, I'm not going to discuss where this all came from.

All I will say is -

Check you heart.  Check your conscience.

If you can be 100% confident that you haven't done anything to hurt anyone recently.  Good.

If you're wondering if it's you I'm speaking of, that would be something to take into consideration.

I may not be perfect, but I am me.  I am the best me that I could be.  I'm happy with me, and that's all that matters.

Are you happy with you?

Think about it...

Have a wonderful day & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

** After post disclaimer:  Thank you to all who've privately messaged me on this.  Many times I write things in the first person to make a point with regard to a situation around me.  It's easier to make it about myself, rather than call anyone out.  I really am OK and it's really not "me" I'm writing about.  You people make me smile!  Thank you for your concern! **

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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Accepting Responsibility, Saying Sorry and Letting go...


It always amazes me how often things that go on around me have a way of coming to me & working itself out in a way that helps me to understand things better.

There may be people reading that will see the title and think, "Nice...she's using my stuff."  I'm not.

Last night I went out with some of my girlfriends.

It was a totally crappy day at work and there was some ick around me that set a negative tone for my day, even though it didn't affect me directly.


While we were eating the waitress and an older man walked over to our table.  The man was angry and pointing, going on about a jeep. Immediately I spoke up...  I have a jeep.  Did I do something?
So I asked if there was a problem.  The man continued his angry rant, turning it to me. He went on and on about the a'hole who parked too close to his vehicle and how he couldn't get in, etc.  I had no idea at that moment that I was said a'hole.  I nicely got up and looked out the window and realized I was, indeed, the a'hole.


I immediately said I'd move my vehicle, and said how sorry I was to have inconvenience him.  I didn't realize I'd parked poorly.  I grabbed my keys and headed toward the parking lot.  The man followed continuing his angry assault with regard to my park job.  He was relentless.  I ignored his angry words as they continued and continued.  I was raised to be respectful to my elders, so I didn't say anything other than - "Really, sir - there's no need to be mean.  I am more than happy to move my truck.  I'm sorry I inconvenienced you."  I moved my truck and went back inside without so much as a thank you, to which my inner snark came out as I hollered "You're WELCOME." across the parking lot.

It was amazing the impression this man left.  When I walked back inside the hostess, waitresses and even the patrons were discussing how nasty the man was.  Commending me for how I'd handled it.

Partially, I get it.  I mean, I parked like an a'hole.  He couldn't get into his car.  I hate when that happens to me and I would get frustrated as well.  Not sure I'd have gone off in the way he did, but whatever.  I'm not that person.  I don't know what makes him tick or what was going on in his day and I didn't pay attention to how I parked.  My bad.

About a half hour later, another waitress came over to our table asking which one of us had to move our vehicle earlier in the evening.  The man who I moved my truck for was on the phone and wanted to speak to me.  Mmm.  OK,

I was a bit shocked, but I took the phone and the gentleman proceeded to apologize to me.  Profusely.  He explained that his wife had a hip problem.  She was the one who was going to drive and she couldn't get into the car.  He didn't want her to have to climb over the console.  (I wouldn't have wanted that for her either.)  He was upset for her.  He said he was sorry for the way he spoke to me and for being so curt.  He appreciated that I didn't react negatively to him and apologized again for interrupting my dinner and for his behavior.

That moment restored my faith in human nature.


Genuinely, his behavior mostly rolled off my back.  I didn't let it ruin my evening - but his phone call to apologize made the difference in capping off a nice evening on a positive note.

Sometimes, you just need to look at a situation and accept it for what it is.

No one likes to be wrong or bad or made to look the a'hole.  Sometimes, just sometimes - you need  to suck it up.  Accept the fact that we are all human.  We all make mistakes, and sometimes just accepting responsibility and letting it go is good enough.

Have a wonderful day!!

~Jenn



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Monday, April 22, 2013

The Battle Royal... A woman's vs a man's point of view


Men and women think and do things completely different from each other.

Growing up, I can clearly remember my brother and his friends getting pissed off at, then beating the ever living crap out of each other.  Calling each other & each other's mothers the worst names on the planet.  A few hours later - it was over.  They were drinking beer together and laughing it up as if nothing had happened.

Women?  Don't cross us.  EVER.  We will hate you, your family and everyone you come into contact with for days, weeks and maybe years to come - depending upon the offense.  Go ahead, make it worse by perpetuating it.  I assure you - it won't go well.  It seldom does.  Mostly it takes an act of God to bring things back around.  Situation sensitive, of course.

I've had issues in the past.
I often bear personal situations here.  In saying this, the proceeding is not to be taken in a negative way.
A few months ago, my BFF and I had a knock down, drag out fight.  I was pissed.  I went off.  I pissed her off.  She went off.  We are both very strong minded, stubborn women.  It wasn't pretty. Trust me.  Feelings were hurt. Hearts were broken.  We didn't speak for almost 5 months.  We've been friends since the 8th grade.  We talk almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day.  We've traveled together.  We know each other's families. We've celebrated & mourned together.  We know each other's secrets.  We know where the bodies are buried, metaphorically.  Still, we did not speak in all that time.  It hurt - but it just became easier and easier to stay away. To hide from it.

Ya know what brought it back around?  Sadly, the death of our very good friend.  A smack in the face, that all the hurt and bitterness just wasn't worth it.  It took an act of God.

That's how it goes with we women folk.  We are emotional beings.  We take it to heart and it stays there.  It burns deep.  The closer you are to the person you have conflict with - the deeper the wound. The longer the healing.

No!

We can't / don't just beat the hell out of each other, have a drink and get over it.  We internalize it.  We brood upon it, and if the nonsense continues in some way - it escalates to the point of no return.

Men don't get that.  Men see than and think - 'mannnnn, you women are friggin' nuts!'  Maybe, but it's our psychosis and you'll never get it so back off man person or you're next.

Heaven FORBID someone tries to get in between that.
Hmmmm  I'd think twice about that. Men may be physically stronger - but we women? Don't mess with us. You will have emotional scars for decades.  Just sayin'.

No, it's not cool, it just is.  Deal with it, because it won't change.  As long as women are emotional beings - we will feel, deeply.  The good and the bad.

I know not all women are this way.  I know I'm generalizing here.  I also know I'm not far off base.

It's something that the men-folk will never get, and that's OK.  Men and women will always react differently...

It's about accepting the differences - and perhaps treading lightly.  Um, or beating the hell out of each other...  Your choice.

Have a great day!!

Lots of Love,

Jenn

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Watch your words....

The road to hell is paved with good intentions....

Wow, no kidding!

I try to do good on my blog and my page, but ya know what?  I'm human.  I step in it from time to time and I totally blow it.

I feel that I totally blew it on my page yesterday by posting something... well, not so nice.

I didn't need anyone to point my sin out to me... My conscience took fabulous care of that for me.

The thing I didn't consider at the time is the thing I try so hard to convey - words are powerful.  No matter if they are spoken words or written. Yesterday they were written words.

Yesterday, I saw a mom being soooo incredibly hurtful and publicly mean to her child that I took that in and mentally made that her full picture.  Her character.

Have you ever seen the movie, Shallow Hal?  He only sees inner beauty, therefore when he saw someone with a beautiful heart, he saw that woman as society's view of a beautiful woman.  If they were mean, he saw them as horrid & ugly.  This is how I saw this woman.  Horrid & ugly.

I looked her up and down, I saw ugly.  I saw a crying child trying to do good and impress her mom and I saw a mom who couldn't be pleased.

At that moment, I didn't care if she'd had a bad day, if she had other stuff going on - I only saw the outside.  On that, I chose to write a negative remark on my Facebook page.

True, she doesn't know me.  She doesn't know my page and if she did, she may not know I was talking about her.

None of that mattered to me.  What mattered to me is that I took in what I saw and acted upon it.  I was no better than she.

I saw her mean and ugly and I perpetuated it with my own personal mean and ugly.

I don't know what was going on to make her so mean that day - and until now - no one knew the full picture behind my comment.

That doesn't give me a pass.

What I and we all need to remember is that most people only see what's on the surface.  We see the mean and the ugly, not the pain or anger under the surface that may be creating the ick.

True -- she may just be a mean spirited human.

But how will people think of me after what I had to say?

It matters.

Watch your words.

Have a wonderful day and as always...
Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Building houses out of bread...

I like kids.
Truth is, I probably like kids better than adults - because kids just are.  They don't care what they say, what they do, how they dress.  They just go about life & do what they want until they're scolded for being inappropriate.

Darn good thing I'm a little person in an adult's body, or I'd be scolded all the time.

A few years back, my husband and I were invited to his buddy's baby's first birthday party.  I knew his buddy, but not his wife or anyone else at the party.  No big deal.  I'm social.  I'd talk to a rock if it talked back to me.  I bring my own fun.

At this party, there was a little boy sitting at our table.  He wasn't sitting with the other kids.  He was with his parents.  This little boy had autism.  His behaviors were "odd" and he wasn't great in social situations.  This was his cousin's party and he needed to be here.  I could see the strain in his parent's faces as he acted out.

It wasn't his fault.

I saw other people looking at the boy.  Looking at the parents wondering who was going to control this boy.  Control?

It wasn't his fault.

I like kids.  Kids get me and I get them.  Especially kids with special needs.  I saw this little boy sitting in the corner of the room and I asked him if he wanted to play.  His parents were at the table with us as well and they knew my husband - no one thought anything of it.  That was, until I got on this little boy's level.  Then people started to wonder about me.

Personally, I don't give a crap.  Like I said - I like kids.  This little boy was at a kiddie birthday party.  The other kids were having fun, he should have fun too!  So I sat down on the floor with him.  I asked him what he wanted to do.  Did he want to build?  Did he want to color?  He wanted to build - and he wanted to build where no one could see him.

No problem...  Let's go play under the table.

Yes - I sat under the table in my pretty clothes with this little boy and we built houses out of the bread that was on the table.  We built houses and cars and made a zoo and animals.  Whatever this kid wanted to build, we built.

Was it appropriate?  Meh, probably not - but the boy's parents got to enjoy a birthday party as adults.  The little boy got to enjoy a kiddie party and I ... Well, I sat under the table on the floor, in my pretty pretty dress and built bread houses with my new friend.

It wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to play like the rest of the kids.  He needed someone to play with him on his level.

After the party, everyone thanked me for taking care of this little boy.  I didn't need to be thanked. 

It was the most fun I ever had at a kiddie party... EVER.

Sometimes we just need to get over ourselves and stop judging what we don't understand and get down to a level that you do understand.  Maybe even have some fun.

...and build houses out of bread.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn



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Monday, April 8, 2013

Dear Me: Lighten the Flock Up, will ya?

 

I haven't written much in my "Dear Me:" series lately...

Every once in a while I do something incredibly stupid and I think, wow, that's a teachable moment - for someone. Clearly not me, because I keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over again.  So someone else.  Definitely someone else.

I have issues.

Not the worst thing in the world, we've ALL got issues. Some are just better at hiding them than others.

My teachable moment today is overcompensating for the stupidity you may have caused.

I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people who, when I create a situation that makes me feel incredibly bad, will back pedal and work constantly to try to rectify the situation.  Many times my rectification being worse than the "original sin." Hence making the situation worse than when it first occurred.

I will also continue to beat myself up about the damage that was created and feel bad and guilty until I am absolutely positive that the person that I have wronged (for lack of a better word) has openly forgiven me and made me feel all warm and cozy.

Yes, this is an issues. It is also an issue that has been to both my favor and detriment in my life.

People in my day to day life get me and blow it off with a "Pfft, that's just Jenn. She means no harm."  Others that may not know me as well - meh, not so much.

These are the things I beat myself up about and borderline obsess over.
Ok, kill the whole borderline thing...


I'm told it's a Virgo trait.
We want to be adored and revered.
Thought of as pure and all things sunshine and flowers.
Being thought of any differently will not do!

Well, here's this blog - so clearly I step in it from time to time and I fall from grace. Eventually I get over it.  No I don't...I beat myself up over it on a regular basis.  Remember?

What I need to do is to just lighten up and let it go!

Quit beating myself up over stupid crap - and for the love of all that's holy, do NOT try to make it better. That just never works out.

Let time heal it. Let it work itself out. If it's meant to turn around and be fixed - it will be fixed.

Obsessively trying to back pedal and rectify is not the answer.

Lighten the flock up, will ya??

Thank you for reading my blog!!

Have a great day!

~Jenn Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Sunday, April 7, 2013

No one is spared...


I flipped on the news this morning and was saddened to hear of the suicide death of Rick Warren's son.

Some of you may know who Rick Warren is.  He's the pastor of the Saddle Back Church in Lake Forest, CA.  A mega-church - which I state for a reason.  Rick Warren is also the author of the book, The Purpose Driven Life.  If you're Christian and you've read this book, you've probably heard of him.

Relax people...  I've never ever denied my status as a Christian - but I've also never crammed it down your throat.  Read on...

This post is meant to show - no one is spared.

No matter how good or bad, wealthy or poor you may be - depression can sneak in.  Depression knows no boundaries.  It doesn't care who you are or what you do.  Depression hides in the nooks and crannies.  In the places you don't even think of looking.  No matter what some people try to do or say or feel, it's there.

Watching the brief interview on the news with Pastor Warren and his wife, I saw the familiar grief.  The grief of parents who lost their son... to suicide.  Forget that he's an author, a pastor of a mega-church.  He's a father.  She's a mother.  They are the grieving parents of a 27 year old man who took his life, because life was too much for him.  Matthew Warren struggled with depression.

It was quoted that Pastor Warren's son said to him ten years earlier, "Dad, I know I'm going to heaven.  Why can't I just die and end this pain?"

WOW

When every instinct in the lives of most is to survive - he just wanted to die.

While this has always been something I have not been able to wrap my head around,
this continues to be the re-occurring theme of suicide.

The thing that those afflicted can't seem to get away from.  The pain is just too much.

It always hits me hard when I hear of suicide.  It's like reliving my own pain over and over again through the tears of others.

Today it was wanting to reach through the TV and hug them - to tell them they weren't alone.

No one is spared.  Not the rich.  Not the poor.  Not the most holy or the most evil.

Anyone can suffer from depression.  Any family can lose someone they love in the most horrible way.

No one is spared.

To Matthew, a man I never knew - I wish you the peace of heart in heaven which you were unable to find here on earth.  I wish an end to your pain.

If you are feeling depressed, or suicidal or need someone to talk to - reach out.  Hurting yourself isn't the answer.  Don't suffer in silence.  Someone does love you.  Someone wants to help you.  Someone will be there for you.  Please reach out!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn



National Suicide Prevention Life Line:
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Day Out of Work Guilt....Really


As I sit here in my kitchen, in front of my computer looking out my window - I'm feeling guilty.

No, really - I am.  It's a week day and I should be at work.  Instead, I'm home with sick kids.

That should give me a pass, right?  Especially since I don't usually get guilt.  But today - I feel guilt.

Once upon a time, I worked full, full time AND I had a part time job.  I perpetually worked my arse off just trying to make ends meet.  I longed for the days where I could sit home and not go to work.  After I had my daughter, wish granted.  I stayed home for the first 5 years, but was climbing the walls with boredom.  I went out and sought ways to work from home.  Not the most profitable route, but it kept me busy and kept my brain active.

Now here I am again - back at work.  I the office semi-full time.  Full time mommy of everything else outside the office.  Everything operates under my control - ya know, except for days I let hubby think he's in charge.  I run a tight ship.  We have a routine.  That's how I like it and it runs perfectly - unless someone gets sick.

Don't think for a second that I don't enjoy my days off.  I truly do. I've got plenty around the homestead to keep me busy.  It's just that days like today... I don't feel like I should be home.
I feel... guilty.

I think of all the things that need to be done at the office & all the things that I know others can't do and hoping those things don't fall into play in my absence.  Holy heck...when did I become this person?  The woman that misses work.  WTH??

I can remember the days of looking out my office window at the sunshine thinking... someday.  Someday I will be carefree and frolic in the sunshine in bare feet.  I won't care about work - I'll run and play and do it every day.  Not so much.

Don't get me wrong - when my hubby wakes me up before he leaves, I look at the clock and immediately think - "Uggggg, I don't want to get out of bed.  I don't want to go to work.  I want to go out and play!"  But ya know, I go and I'm cool with it.  What the heck else am I going to do?  The kids are in school - usually.  Not like I want to sit in the house all day.  Many of my friends are working too - so I can't play all day - and I'd run out of funds.  I hate that....running out of funds, I mean.

Oh yeah.. another reason I love my job.  It gives me the means to go out and play when - when I'm not working.  When it's acceptable to be out.  When I don't need to hide, or feel guilty about not being in work.

For now, just for today I'll carry this silly "I should be at work guilt."  I'll take care of my sick kiddies and look out the window knowing that even though the sun is shining brightly - it's cold as heck out there anyway and summer is just around the corner.

I'll have guilt free play then!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Kickboxing is kicking my arse....


If you've followed along with me at all over on my FaceCrack page (a.k.a. Facebook) you may have noticed I've taken a giant leap into the wonderful world of kickboxing over the past few months...

This is how I picture me.
It all looks good on paper..... Yes, Jenn - you can kick and punch the crap out of something and call it exercise.

I'm thinking...Hmmm, I can kick and punch something really, really hard and I won't hurt anyone?  Or get hit
back?  Where do I sign, where do I sign?

Here, let me get a pin to prick your finger with - because you're signing in blood :)

All that sarcasm up there... cast it aside.
Just don't cast it too far because my muscles are aching like you can't believe and I don't want to have to reach.

Truth - I love this crap!
I can kick and punch things - get my frustrations out while exercising!

Another truth - it is the hardest work out I've ever done in my life.  I used to totally wimp out after 40 minutes, but I just keep on going.

Hand me my coffee cup, will ya?  I'm having a little difficulty lifting it right now...


Let me tell you my kickboxing story...
I started back in February.  The Wednesday before I was schedule to go visit my son in San Diego.  I kicked, I punched, I exercised and the next day - I hurt like hell.  The day after that, I got the flu.  UG.
So I didn't go back for a while - a two week while, actually, and then I went back.

Still recovering on week #3 of the now respiratory version of the fabulous flu.  I can't breathe and my energy level is zapped.
There's Mr. Shiek -- knees up higher - higher.  Kick, Kick.
Dude, I'm an old bag -- one of the oldest in the class.  Mercy, I ask...
Yet he continues...Push yourself, push yourself.  Lunge, squat, kick -- Here, catch these 5 lb weights and do it again.  Now squat and jump to the ceiling.  Medicine ball time...Jump squat, jump squat.


WHAT??  Why am I jumping?  Is there a mouse somewhere??  Holy hell - what did I sign up for.  Move, move - he says.  So I'm moving and gasping for air.  Sweat is pouring from my brow like it's trying to escape my body and all I want is a small sip of water... hell, I want to dunk my head into a barrel of water and just stay there.  Where do you thing you'rrrrrrre going, missy??  Jump, jump higher - faster now kick, kick, kick - punch, punch, punch.  I think I hate him.  I told him so.  I told him, "Mr. Sheik - tomorrow, we may not be friends."  He laughed his evil laugh and told me to straighten my back and do 20 more squats....  faster....

You wanted this Jenn -- you asked for it.  Oh wait, that was children.... Well same crap - children is what put my body into this state.  Children is what kicked my once beautiful six pack abs into a squishyy old milk carton.

More truth...  I started in February.  During that month I went maybe 3 times total.  Maybe.  In March, I started to build up to 2 -3 times a week faithfully.

Do I still ache afterwards?  You bet your sweet cheeks I do!  BUT, I keep losing weight!  I am stronger and can do almost the entire class without too many breaks.  I look forward to going.  I WANT to go.

Not only because I can kick and punch the crap out of inanimate objects, but because I am weirdly looking forward to the pain that I will feel on day #2 because that means I am doing something!  It means that at almost 50, this chick is working back toward my 20 something physique.  Ok, 30 something physique.  I'll take it!!!

Let me be very clear.... I HATE to exercise. I LOVE kickboxing.

How incredibly weird is that?

Thank you for reading my mish mosh of whatever today.

I know it's not my most fabulous post, but it will help someone.  Right??

Have a wonderful day!!

~Jenn

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Blended families....Not for the weak hearted


I am the product of, and have my very own blended family....

If this term is unfamiliar to you, a blended family is one where two families come together as one.  Whatever the circumstances may be.  (Think Brady Bunch)

When I was growing up, my parents divorced and my mother married my (step) dad, who was also divorced with kids.  We didn't all live in the same house & on weekends there was a kid shift.  I & my brothers to dad's my step-sibs to my house to visit their dad.

When I was growing up, I was not fond of my "steps".  I got along well with my step brother, but sometimes resented all the "extras" he seemed to get.  My step sister wasn't around much, and when she was - I usually wasn't.  I went to my dad's on weekends as well.

Confused yet?

I was always confused.  None of that was easy, for anyone.

My step dad wasn't my daddy.  He was my mother's husband & in my youth, I resented his absolute being.  I hated him telling me what to do, where to be, when to be home & even that he breathed the same air I did.  I did not make life easy for anyone and vice versa.  This, of course, changed as I grew older & matured.  Many years prior to his death, he and I became very close.  I miss him now - but during my childhood - the situation was just awful.

I now have my very own blended family.  In my case, I was married previously and have a son from that marriage & well, that didn't work out very well.  A few years later, I met my husband, we got  married and we had our daughter.... At first, things went along wonderfully.  Kyle & hubby got along great. Everything was wonderful - the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, love, love, love.

THEN - my son started maturing.... The testosterone surge came through & suddenly it became a power struggle.  (pay back's a bitch)  My little boy started becoming a young man & resented my husband.  Hated him actually.  All this mere months after his little sister was born.

I've got to give it to my husband.  He's put up with more crap than I ever would have!  It was NOT an easy 7+ years of Kyle going through his stuff!  (it wasn't all bad)  They yelled, they fought - sometimes Kyle was right, sometimes my husband was right- and I was always stuck in the middle.  Nothing I ever said was right.  No one was happy.  It was a constant struggle.

My little baby girl was the princess & could do no wrong in daddy's eyes.  Though I could clearly see when she was being a little turkey - her daddy only saw rays of sunshine beaming from her entire being.  She picked up on this immediately and used it to her advantage.  Kyle would walk past her & she'd start screaming & crying.  Kyle would get in trouble.  As mommy to BOTH of the children - I was totally impartial...  Hubby, not so much.

So what's the answer?  There isn't one.  It would be fabulous if everyone were able to marry their forever person on the first shot - not as easy as it sounds!  For sure that would make things easier & eliminate the whole blended family thing.


It's not always awful and uncomfortable, but it sure is work.  Someone's feelings are always being hurt - someone's always having issues.  It's a job!

I am lucky to have a strong man.  Like I said, I couldn't have put up with a quarter of the crap he's dealt with.  My son is my life, but he's never been easy & he knows it!  He's definitely earned me my mommy stripes & then some.

It's hard for me knowing the resentment between my husband & my son.  This was definitely not what I had in mind when I started out in my relationship with my husband.  I do hope that when my son grows up & matures - he will also see that his step-dad did have his best interest at heart.  He did love him & did think of him as his son.  For now, it is what it is....

I'm just thankful we've all come through so much & continue to roll forward.....

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn