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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Building houses out of bread...

I like kids.
Truth is, I probably like kids better than adults - because kids just are.  They don't care what they say, what they do, how they dress.  They just go about life & do what they want until they're scolded for being inappropriate.

Darn good thing I'm a little person in an adult's body, or I'd be scolded all the time.

A few years back, my husband and I were invited to his buddy's baby's first birthday party.  I knew his buddy, but not his wife or anyone else at the party.  No big deal.  I'm social.  I'd talk to a rock if it talked back to me.  I bring my own fun.

At this party, there was a little boy sitting at our table.  He wasn't sitting with the other kids.  He was with his parents.  This little boy had autism.  His behaviors were "odd" and he wasn't great in social situations.  This was his cousin's party and he needed to be here.  I could see the strain in his parent's faces as he acted out.

It wasn't his fault.

I saw other people looking at the boy.  Looking at the parents wondering who was going to control this boy.  Control?

It wasn't his fault.

I like kids.  Kids get me and I get them.  Especially kids with special needs.  I saw this little boy sitting in the corner of the room and I asked him if he wanted to play.  His parents were at the table with us as well and they knew my husband - no one thought anything of it.  That was, until I got on this little boy's level.  Then people started to wonder about me.

Personally, I don't give a crap.  Like I said - I like kids.  This little boy was at a kiddie birthday party.  The other kids were having fun, he should have fun too!  So I sat down on the floor with him.  I asked him what he wanted to do.  Did he want to build?  Did he want to color?  He wanted to build - and he wanted to build where no one could see him.

No problem...  Let's go play under the table.

Yes - I sat under the table in my pretty clothes with this little boy and we built houses out of the bread that was on the table.  We built houses and cars and made a zoo and animals.  Whatever this kid wanted to build, we built.

Was it appropriate?  Meh, probably not - but the boy's parents got to enjoy a birthday party as adults.  The little boy got to enjoy a kiddie party and I ... Well, I sat under the table on the floor, in my pretty pretty dress and built bread houses with my new friend.

It wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to play like the rest of the kids.  He needed someone to play with him on his level.

After the party, everyone thanked me for taking care of this little boy.  I didn't need to be thanked. 

It was the most fun I ever had at a kiddie party... EVER.

Sometimes we just need to get over ourselves and stop judging what we don't understand and get down to a level that you do understand.  Maybe even have some fun.

...and build houses out of bread.

Thank you for reading my blog!


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Sunday, April 7, 2013

No one is spared...

I flipped on the news this morning and was saddened to hear of the suicide death of Rick Warren's son.

Some of you may know who Rick Warren is.  He's the pastor of the Saddle Back Church in Lake Forest, CA.  A mega-church - which I state for a reason.  Rick Warren is also the author of the book, The Purpose Driven Life.  If you're Christian and you've read this book, you've probably heard of him.

Relax people...  I've never ever denied my status as a Christian - but I've also never crammed it down your throat.  Read on...

This post is meant to show - no one is spared.

No matter how good or bad, wealthy or poor you may be - depression can sneak in.  Depression knows no boundaries.  It doesn't care who you are or what you do.  Depression hides in the nooks and crannies.  In the places you don't even think of looking.  No matter what some people try to do or say or feel, it's there.

Watching the brief interview on the news with Pastor Warren and his wife, I saw the familiar grief.  The grief of parents who lost their son... to suicide.  Forget that he's an author, a pastor of a mega-church.  He's a father.  She's a mother.  They are the grieving parents of a 27 year old man who took his life, because life was too much for him.  Matthew Warren struggled with depression.

It was quoted that Pastor Warren's son said to him ten years earlier, "Dad, I know I'm going to heaven.  Why can't I just die and end this pain?"


When every instinct in the lives of most is to survive - he just wanted to die.

While this has always been something I have not been able to wrap my head around,
this continues to be the re-occurring theme of suicide.

The thing that those afflicted can't seem to get away from.  The pain is just too much.

It always hits me hard when I hear of suicide.  It's like reliving my own pain over and over again through the tears of others.

Today it was wanting to reach through the TV and hug them - to tell them they weren't alone.

No one is spared.  Not the rich.  Not the poor.  Not the most holy or the most evil.

Anyone can suffer from depression.  Any family can lose someone they love in the most horrible way.

No one is spared.

To Matthew, a man I never knew - I wish you the peace of heart in heaven which you were unable to find here on earth.  I wish an end to your pain.

If you are feeling depressed, or suicidal or need someone to talk to - reach out.  Hurting yourself isn't the answer.  Don't suffer in silence.  Someone does love you.  Someone wants to help you.  Someone will be there for you.  Please reach out!

Thank you for reading my blog!


National Suicide Prevention Life Line:
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Blended families....Not for the weak hearted

I am the product of, and have my very own blended family....

If this term is unfamiliar to you, a blended family is one where two families come together as one.  Whatever the circumstances may be.  (Think Brady Bunch)

When I was growing up, my parents divorced and my mother married my (step) dad, who was also divorced with kids.  We didn't all live in the same house & on weekends there was a kid shift.  I & my brothers to dad's my step-sibs to my house to visit their dad.

When I was growing up, I was not fond of my "steps".  I got along well with my step brother, but sometimes resented all the "extras" he seemed to get.  My step sister wasn't around much, and when she was - I usually wasn't.  I went to my dad's on weekends as well.

Confused yet?

I was always confused.  None of that was easy, for anyone.

My step dad wasn't my daddy.  He was my mother's husband & in my youth, I resented his absolute being.  I hated him telling me what to do, where to be, when to be home & even that he breathed the same air I did.  I did not make life easy for anyone and vice versa.  This, of course, changed as I grew older & matured.  Many years prior to his death, he and I became very close.  I miss him now - but during my childhood - the situation was just awful.

I now have my very own blended family.  In my case, I was married previously and have a son from that marriage & well, that didn't work out very well.  A few years later, I met my husband, we got  married and we had our daughter.... At first, things went along wonderfully.  Kyle & hubby got along great. Everything was wonderful - the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, love, love, love.

THEN - my son started maturing.... The testosterone surge came through & suddenly it became a power struggle.  (pay back's a bitch)  My little boy started becoming a young man & resented my husband.  Hated him actually.  All this mere months after his little sister was born.

I've got to give it to my husband.  He's put up with more crap than I ever would have!  It was NOT an easy 7+ years of Kyle going through his stuff!  (it wasn't all bad)  They yelled, they fought - sometimes Kyle was right, sometimes my husband was right- and I was always stuck in the middle.  Nothing I ever said was right.  No one was happy.  It was a constant struggle.

My little baby girl was the princess & could do no wrong in daddy's eyes.  Though I could clearly see when she was being a little turkey - her daddy only saw rays of sunshine beaming from her entire being.  She picked up on this immediately and used it to her advantage.  Kyle would walk past her & she'd start screaming & crying.  Kyle would get in trouble.  As mommy to BOTH of the children - I was totally impartial...  Hubby, not so much.

So what's the answer?  There isn't one.  It would be fabulous if everyone were able to marry their forever person on the first shot - not as easy as it sounds!  For sure that would make things easier & eliminate the whole blended family thing.

It's not always awful and uncomfortable, but it sure is work.  Someone's feelings are always being hurt - someone's always having issues.  It's a job!

I am lucky to have a strong man.  Like I said, I couldn't have put up with a quarter of the crap he's dealt with.  My son is my life, but he's never been easy & he knows it!  He's definitely earned me my mommy stripes & then some.

It's hard for me knowing the resentment between my husband & my son.  This was definitely not what I had in mind when I started out in my relationship with my husband.  I do hope that when my son grows up & matures - he will also see that his step-dad did have his best interest at heart.  He did love him & did think of him as his son.  For now, it is what it is....

I'm just thankful we've all come through so much & continue to roll forward.....

Thank you for reading my blog!