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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

This whole bullying thing needs to stop....What makes a bully a bully?

Who here has encountered a bully?

I'm not saying that you have been bullied, but have you been around one?  Were you one?

I've been seeing and reading so much about bullying online and in the papers and it really makes me sad - for all involved.  It really is something that touches everyone on some level.

I'm not talking about the modern day "buzz word" bullying.  I'm talking about real, actual bullying that is intentionally directed to hurt or tear someone down.

Personally, I don't deal with it.  I'm no one's victim.  If someone is trying to do something to me/against me, I WILL take my stand and then I step out of the situation.  I can't be bothered with the nonsense.  I'm not 12 and I'm not playing the game.  No matter how it ends up.  I know who I am.  If other's don't, that's their problem not mine.

I believe that to be the problem with the bullies of the world.  They don't know who they are.  If they do, they don't feel comfortable in their own skin - so they tear others down to bring people to their level.  I've seen it over and over again.

Let me ask you...  If you continually call people trash and other mean things for over a year, trying to bring them down, and then work to be top dog in that crowd - what does that make you?  Doesn't that make you top of the trash heap that you've created?  What does that really say?  As I see it, it says that "you" feel so low and like such trash that the only place you belong is in the trash pile you've created yourself.

I'm super hung up on that bullying incident in Florida where the 12 year old little girl committed suicide after being bullied by her peers, other young teens.  How could someone feel so low about themselves (or superior / entitled) at 12 and 14 to be so incredibly mean and hurtful that someone would take their life?  What are these kids being taught by their parents?  Isn't anyone building these kids up to believe that they are good?  That they deserve love?  I don't know.  I just don't understand it.

Is this what makes a bully a bully?

I'm not a bully.  I've never been a bully.  I'm the person who sits back, watches and defends the people being bullied - because it's the right thing to do.  Again, I know who I am.  I'm not afraid to stand up for what's real.

I believe bullying on the gossip (and now internet) level to be worse around girls and women.

As I see it, men and boys mostly slug it out and get over it, (though when it comes to kids - all bets are off).  Girls / women are emotional - it cuts deep.  So deep in the incident in Florida that a little girl was pushed so far that she jumped off a water tower to her death.  This is truly heart breaking and so unnecessary.

As a woman, I've always believed that we should build our friends up - not tear them down.  If someone is feeling badly about themselves, even if you agree that things really suck for them - tell them how pretty their hair looks or what nice shoes they have.  ANYTHING.

I teach my children to stand by their friends, as I do.  Be loyal.  Stand by what's right.  If someone is feeling sad or lost, tell them how great they are.  Don't be mean and don't tolerate others being mean to you.  Ignore it and find your own happy.

If you can't be happy with yourself -
you'll never truly be happy.  You will always look in the mirror and see that fat, frizzy haired kid who was picked on in high school.

Only you can change that.

Tearing someone else down repeatedly doesn't make you any better.  It also doesn't truly say anything about them or their character - it says something about you and your character.  Eventually the smoke will clear.  People will see things as they really are.  You will not be known as the popular one, or the fantastic one.  You will be known as the bully.  The mean and nasty one.  Is that what you really want?

This bullying thing NEEDS to stop!

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  1. Bullying totally needs to stop, but over reaching and calling everything "bullying" needs to stop too. I just read an article about a football team winning 92-0 and the losing team's family are calling the game bullying. Are you kidding me? They played a good game! This whole "everyone get's a participation ribbon" crap sets kids up to not experience what it is like to lose and how to do so gracefully and resign yourself to work harder. Kids who are told that their lack luster effort should be rewarded the same as someone who puts it all out there are why we have entitled and lazy adults today. This is one of my soapbox things so I could go on There's TRUE bullying, like the case in Florida. And parents need to start being held accountable more for the actions of their children (i understand that in some circumstances, there is nothing a parent can do, but that's a very small portion of the time.)

    1. I totally agree with you! That football thing is a total eye roller for me. I do agree that the game should have been stopped when they were more than 40 points ahead of the other team, as a measure of good sportsmanship which is usually done, but I believe that's a ref / league call and not a coach call. What do I know...
      Thank you for your support of my blog! :)


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