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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I'm forever misunderstood...

I think I'm just one of those people that folks get the wrong impression of before they actually know me.

I don't put on airs, and believe it or not - at first I can seem shy.  Some folks mistake my shy for stuck up, which I'm absolutely not!  Oh, and I speak my mind, which sometimes goes over like a lead balloon.

I have no time, or patience to pretend to be someone I'm not - or to play the secrets and lies game.  Not to say I didn't play that when I was younger - I was just never very good at it.  I'm much more comfortable being who I am.

Because of this, I am forever misunderstood.

My brother's friend, Pete, once summed it up when introducing me to his girlfriend...  "This is Jenn.  It's Ok, she's just overly friendly."  lol...  Ok, I'll take that - I could say I've been called worse.

I guess that's pretty much me - once I settle in, that is.  I'm pretty goofy and I try to have fun.  I do truly love everyone.

Also, being that I was always one to have more male friends than female friends, that didn't go over well with the wives / girlfriends.  Until they got to know me.

Once upon a time, I went to Virginia for a company Christmas party.  Families & spouses all went.  We were at the hotel lounge & I was having a good ol time.  I was married to Kyle's father at the time, who was there, and I was just doing my "Jenn thing".
Unbeknownst to me, I was being observed by one of the wives.  Now mind you, all of the guys there were my friends.  I was friendly and happy with everyone - wives included.
I had no idea I was pissing people off...

So about a year later, my boss at the time's brother was at the office doing some work.  Now, I'd known Leo (rest his soul) for YEARS, and well before his wife came into the picture.  He and I were friends, that's it.
So his wife called the office & while speaking with her, I was all bubbled over with happiness and congratulations for them since they were pregnant with their first child.
I had no clue she hated my very being...

I gave Leo the phone & went back to work.  Not another word was said.

A few months later, Karen came to New Jersey with her beautiful pregnant belly.  I took her out to lunch and she and I started to become friends.  After several months of doing lunches & dinners she finally came clean with me and said, "Jenn - you know I hated your guts.  Remember that day you were so friendly with me on the phone at the office?  I told Leo that he'd better stay away from that Jenn girl."  I had no idea, but we laugh about it to this day.

Seventeen years later, she and I are still very close friends.  As a matter of fact - I've been with her through some very traumatic times in her life & I am in total awe of her strength and character.

Just goes to show ya - ya never know....

I guess I get it - I would flirt with a rock, really.  It's just my personality.  I like to have fun & make people feel special & happy.  I do know where my line is...

I have mellowed with time & age.  I'm wiser and more respectful to people's feelings than I was in my younger days.  I do still love people & will always be me.

So wives, if you don't know me yet - you really do NOT need to hold on to your husbands a little tighter.
I will never, ever want someone else's husband.  I've got one of my own, thanks - and even if I didn't, there's enough single men in the world to pick from.  Besides - I know one day you'll love me too.  Like it or not :)

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Monday, January 30, 2012

Music, Music, Music....

My taste in music is soooo all over the place...

My husband teases me because I go through my phases of listening.  I really just love it all - well most of it.  Since I was very young, my daddy always taught me to appreciate music.  So I do!  I try to teach my kids the same, and to shut the TV off and let the radio blare through the house.

Typically I'm a rock & roll chick to the bone - but I do loves me some country.

I'm fairly very loyal to my early morning & during work listening (shout out to Mike McKay & Donuts at Hot Country B95 in Eau Claire, WI and Jim Kerr at Q104.3 in NY), but after my morning guys sign off, I'm flip flopping stations and you can never have any idea what be blaring through the speakers.

Most recently it's alternative music.  Very loud alternative music.  Green Day, Blink 182 - blaring through my house as I move about doing my thing.  Quite the contrast to the country station I generally have on (don't worry guys, I haven't abandoned you) or even the Christian station I am also pretty loyal to.

I enjoy beep-boppin' through my house, but have also learned to be very on top of it - because my alternative isn't nearly as kid friendly as my country, classic rock or Christian music.  :)  I found that out the other day when I was teaching my daughter Brian Stew by Green Day and actually LISTENED to the words... whoops - that was an f-bomb and whoops, there's another...  Bye kiddies - let momma re-adjust the channel & we will dance later.

Another one of those things I didn't need to pay attention to as much before I had kids...

Hubby is preferable to country & I've turned him onto my guys out in WI.  The kids' Disney channel music make me want to stick my fingers in my eyes, as does gangsta rap and of the like, but everyone has their aversions.  All I care is that the music flows.

You know they say, music soothes the savage beast...  I can already see my kids running to turn up the music... QUICK, mommy has PMS - music, music NOW.....

Thank you for reading my blog!!

Now turn off the TV and crank it up!

~Jenn

Disclosure:  The statements and endorsements listed in my blog are solely my thoughts and opinions.  I am not paid for my endorsements, but if the mood strikes...  :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Road trip anyone?

Once upon a time, I was NOT well liked by the boyfriends of my friends.  Actually, I was among the most hated...

Why?  Road trips...

I took full and complete advantage of my single life while I was living it!  Heck, I had no one to report to, no kids & no huge responsibilities I needed to deal with.  Yeah, I had my dog - but either she came with me, or went to my parents house & I was outta there!  Anywhere!  I just went when I wanted to go.... I believe they call that wanderlust.

This behavior of MINE, was totally frowned upon by my friend's boyfriends.  Hey, I never twisted anyone's arm.  I'd wake up on a Friday morning and think - ooh, look - long weekend... Where to go, where to go - and then, just go.  I always had a packed bag in my trunk, just in case...

I'll never forget the time when my brother's friend was at the Navy medical center in Bethesda.  He called up & needed a ride up to our house.  Noooo problem....  So I called my friend, Kathy and asked her if she wanted to take a road trip.  Now - Kathy DID have responsibilities.  I thought I was clear on the fact that if I'm driving 5 hours down, we won't be back the same day.  Guess not.

So we drove down to Maryland, hit some of the clubs & having a great time.  Around Midnight, Kathy asks when we're leaving.  Leaving??  To go where??  Home??  Uh... I've been drinking and it's Midnight... We'll be leaving tomorrow...  Whoopsie...  Seems SHE neglected to secure her homestead. So at Midnight she needed to make a call to her boyfriend, who was watching her son.... It went something like this, "Hello, Derrick.... I'm in Maryland."  His return to that...CLICK.  (that's a hanging up phone.)  That was our last road trip together, but a story that used to come up as a good laugh every once in a while.

I was very different than some of my friends.  Yes, if I was in a relationship, I was respectful to it - but by the same token, I wasn't married -- see ya...  I enjoyed having my friends & going places - doing fun things!  It's what being single is for!

Which is really good that I married the man I married - because he and I were very similar in that way.  Both did the road trip thing in our single days & got the "ya ya's" out.  Now, being home doesn't seem that bad.

Don't get me wrong - every once in a while I wish I could just pick up and go - jet off to where ever, when ever... but reality sinks in & I look at my beautiful faces around my house & plan our trip to Disney instead.

It's all good!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Not another "Lupie" blog..

When I first started out this blog, it was going to be an outlet to spout words of wisdom & feelings about Lupus.

But now - does any one REALLY want to hear me piss & moan??

I'm guessing that's a big NO - and for that reason, I do my best to just live life & not complain. (too much)

First I'd like to say - right now & the past few days, I've felt GREAT!   Really, almost "normal"!  I don't get to used to this, because I never know when it will turn.

Yeah - stuff hurts.  Yeah, I'm shot (most of the time) - and I've noticed that every once in a while my hubby (who is normally very good with all of this) gets annoyed when I just can't do things.  Mind you, I try - but when I'm shot, I'm shot.  My friends usually know when I'm trying to hide it.  It's in my voice & written all over my face - plus, as I've said - I'm a terrible liar.

So THIS will not be one of those cranky little, complaining blogs - because again, Why??  Is that going to make me feel better?  Is that going to be the little magic wand to make it all better..

Nope - I'm still me though.  And this me is just learning to live my life knowing my limitations.  To realize that if I'm starting to feel like I've had enough, that I need to stop instead of pushing ahead like I'd normally do.  I've learned that if I continue - the next day is really going to suck and no one really wants to hear it.  That's Ok - because I don't want to hear it either!  It is what it is... and it could be so much worse.  No, that's not a dare :)

And let's face it... as much as I hate to say so, I'm no spring chicken anymore.  I've definitely lost a little spring in my step, but I can hide it pretty well.   I am genuinely over the doctors & their predictions.  Their guesses on medications.

You see, I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to be the "victim".  The person who others may think thinks tisk, tisk, tisk ... she could have done...  Whatever...  I just do it.  I'm me - I have to be me.  The goofy Jersey chick who's filter is perpetually jammed open.  The mommy who rocks out & plays air guitar in my kitchen with my kids, sings the goofiest songs & says the goofiest things.  Things that outsiders listening in would think... What the....  Yeah - That is who I want to be.  That is who I want my kids to know.

I don't want my kids to grow up remembering mommy being on the couch.  I don't want to be the sick mommy.  The mommy who misses out because she couldn't walk.  I want it all for them - and ya know what, as long as I'm still "vertical" - I'm going to give it to them... Just you watch me!


I may have Lupus, but it surely doesn't have me.

Have an awesome day & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Monday, January 23, 2012

My friend, Steve Parker...

Ok, laugh if you will - but my friend, Steve Parker totally deserves a blog!

I stole Steve, as far as I'm concerned.  He was my "old flame's" roommate and very good friend - and I used to call there A LOT. I was in my early twenties, had only been in 2 prior relationships - both very long term.  I had no idea how to properly conduct myself in the dating realm.  Also, they lived on the other side of the country - pre email, cell phones & texting (the horror).

In any case - at some point, I'm guessing that Troy had started dodging my calls (I would have, lol) and Steve was answering the phone.  He and I would chat for hours.  He totally and completely cracked me up.  Eventually, I started calling just to talk to Steve and all these years later - he's still my bud.

Now, one thing you should know about me is that I like to be in fairly regular contact with my friends.  If you are my friend I care about what is going on in your little life, so I call, well now I'll email or text - but that's just who I am.  Relationships & friendships are important to me & I like to be involved to keep the relationship going.  It's just too easy to lose contact & a great friendship falls by the wayside...Heck I even used to call to talk to his Mom, rest her soul.  Loved Mrs. Parker.  She was a hoot!

Ok, so back to Sir Steve, lol....  He and I have maintained a friendship for over 20 years - Bremerton, Cali, Louisiana, Texas, Michigan - I'm sure I've missed a few.  He's come and stayed with us a few times - once when I was prego & the other when I was in toddlerdom...  Think I scared him away by thinking crazy Jenn was gone for good...  Don't worry, she's back & really hoping to meet up in Chi-town.  And yes friends, my hubby knows & is cool with it...

My hubby loves Steve Parker to death too, so it really is ALL GOOD!

Not just Steve, Steve Parker...  why do I always refer to him with both names?  I have no clue - but all these years, he's Steve Parker.

Now knowing that Steve will probably be in Chicago with us (my brother, my Lynne & I) hubby mentioned that he'd have Steve Parker make sure I stay in line.  HA!  Really??  You want Steve Parker to babysit ME??  To be in charge of ME behaving MYSELF??  Sweetie, the last man who entrusted Steve Parker to tend to me in his absence got me returned back 5 hours later drunk on tequila... You sure about that?  lol  Ok, Granted - that was several years ago - dare I say decades without wincing???  eek...  It's funny, even typing this, I can mentally see Steve walking away from a bar with several shots of tequila in his hands.

Kyle's father was seriously annoyed by Steve Parker's existence.  All he ever said was, "of course he's being nice to you, he just wants to get into your pants."  Ha - well, if that were true or not - he's never been there & we're still friends... So phooey on you!

Yeah, I don't really know what brought all this on.  I'm starting to become very excited to get to see my SR graduate boot camp (24 days from this writing), so I've got my brain in rewind, reliving the good 'ol days.  All good.... but THIS decade's brain cannot handle tequila shots, Parker!  Even if I do owe you a few.

Ladies, my friend Steve Parker is once again, single & lookin' to mingle...  I hear he's a real stud, lol.  I can personally say he's an awesome friend & human being...  If he's a big ol pain in the butt, well that's for you to decide -- I just love him to death!

On that - STEVE - you need to come back!  Jersey misses you!!

Thank you for reading my blog...  If this is at all familiar to you, having met my bud... I hope you enjoyed the laugh... If not, hope you enjoyed it anyway...

Have a wonderful day all & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

A matter of trust....

I'm sure you've heard the expression fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...

I pretty much operate on that premise.  

I've never been one of those type of people who are guarded and insecure, unless I know for sure I have a reason to be.  I just keep my eyes open and watch.  I give trust instead of making people earn trust, but it also takes me a while to even decide if someone will actually be my friend...

I trust.  I give my love and loyalty to those I'm close with, and I hope for the same in exchange.

Hurt me once, and I can forgive - it will take me a while to heal, but I will eventually move on and learn to trust again.  Hurt me twice, and that's it.  I shut down - I've lost it.  There's nothing worse than betrayal - especially the betrayal by people you love and care for - people you'd lay down your life for.

But maybe that's just me.  I am a very loyal soul.  Many times whether I need to be or not.  I appreciate brutal honesty.  Heck - I down right respect that!  I am very straight forward - you ask me, I'm going to tell you.  In return, I'd much rather be hurt with the truth than comforted and in the end destroyed by a lie.

Trust is key - period!  How can you love with your whole heart without being able to trust?  You can't...Think about that.

Have a happy day & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Friday, January 20, 2012

I love my kitties :)

I love all animals, but I'm definitely a cat person!

I used to have dogs - but my husky, Sasha, was irreplaceable - so I've never gotten another dog.  A piece of my heart went with her.

I used to feel that sadness about cats as well, having lost so many furry friends.  That is, until a former co-worker plopped my beautiful Salem into my arms.  Yes, Salem is a black cat :)  She is a very fluffy, beautiful princess kitty who is most commonly found directly on top of me.  She rules me, I don't rule her.  If I'm not up by 6ish AM she is sitting on my head purring loudly in my ears looking to be fed.  She also sleeps right beside me.  She is a very, very spoiled little kitty.  She is my kind, my side kick, my best buddy.

I also have my outside kitty, Petunia.  Well, she has me.  I always say, she's not my cat - I'm her person.  My daughter named Petunia when she was 2 years old.  That was her new word & she kinda liked it, so Petunia she became.  Petunia was a stray kitten back at our old house.  I, of course, used to feed her.  She's a pretty little Calico.  I tried to make her an indoor cat - but she tried to claw through my patio door screen to get out, so out she stays.

I spent the money to have her spayed & shots, etc - because as a kitten - the poor thing was pregnant & who knows what happened to her kittens.  She lived on my patio and I never saw them...

When we moved - we took her with us.

Now when I tell you that Petunia is a very cool cat - I'm not joking.  When I go walk around the block, she comes with me.  She keeps about 20 paces back.  If I stop, she stops.  When I walk to the bus stop to get the kids, she comes with me.  She's like a dog guarding our every move.  As a matter of fact, it's something that really stands out because it's so out of the ordinary for a cat.  Everyone who sees her do this laughs about it.

Not only is she a guard dog cat, but she's an incredible mouser.  She loves to bring me "gifts" and literally "calls me" when she's got something for me to see.  Moles, chipmunks, mice, rabbits - yes, rabbits, birds - Blue Jays more specifically.  She's a tough little kitty, let me tell you!  She will also take them away (most times) if I thank her & tell her what a good kitty she is.  No joke!

She is probably the toughest little kitty I've ever seen.  Not only has she gone on attack, to protect me, against a 6' rat snake (yuck) and scared it out of my yard - but she's also chased a bear out of the yard!

Everyone loves her, even if she can be a giant pain in the butt!!  But hey, look who her momma is :)

She's starting to become an old lady now.  She's in on the back porch most of the time now & will even ask to come inside the house once in a while to use the "indoor facilities".  She's another I'll miss when she's gone.

Some people don't get how human their animals can actually be.  It's just one of the things that makes me so sad when people are cruel to them.  The one thing those people could never know is that when the world turns it's back on them, the little kitty they may love - will ALWAYS love them back more than they know!


Thank you for reading my blog!!

~Jenn

This is for my friend, Trish, who sadly lost her fluffy best friend, Julie after 19 years...  

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Brother's Temper....

For those of you who knew my brother, it is no surprise that I say no one ever wanted to piss Eric off!

I, of course, was an exception to that rule - I lived to piss him off because he and I were so much the same.  Only difference is I have a much longer fuse than he did, and I didn't haul off and beat people up.

Eric was one feared dude, lol.  He either loved you, or hated you.  Either way, you weren't immune to Eric's temper.  It's actually kinda funny looking back.

A few years after Eric got out of the Navy, he was at my house for a Father's Day barbeque with his son.

We all were having a great time in the back yard & the poor little kids next door kept peering through the hedges.  I felt bad, because I knew they were there alone.  It happened a lot.  I always let them play with Kyle so they didn't feel so alone.  Difference this time is that they were also visiting their dad for Father's Day.  I offered for them to come over a few times.  When they refused for fear of getting in trouble, I gave them some burgers, etc.  They were clearly hungry.

...And there's Eric - nostrils flaring.  Our dad died, so Father's Day without our dad was a pretty big deal as it was.  The more time that passed, and the more those little ones kept looking on, the angrier Eric got.

Finally, he couldn't take anymore...  he asked the kids where their father was.  When he found out that he was at the bar, he flipped a gasket.  He and my brother, Darren, got into the car and headed off to that very popular area watering hole.

Less than an hour later, as my brothers were strolling back into the yard, I got a call.

Seems my brothers walked into the bar & announced loud as day "Who's ***** ****?"  When the wise butt stood up & got mouthy with my brothers - my brother, Eric, promptly told him he was a loser father for leaving his kids alone while he sat there getting loaded.  **** shot his mouth off one more time & Darren stepped in just before Eric lifted my neighbor up like he was a rag doll & threw him off the Tiki Bar...  Eeek....  Shall I just say - the tiki bar portion of the bar had about an 8 foot drop.

That day has not been forgotten by anyone!  And I do mean anyone!  More than 10 years later, I still have people reminding me of that day, as if I could forget.  Another side note, my former neighbor was also my very good friend's abusive ex.  There was no love loss.  Even still, I was mortified to have this idiot living directly next door after what my brothers did - but suddenly I started to receive the utmost respect from my neighbor AND I received an apology from HIM!

There he was, black eye, bruised cheek a set of broken ribs & Lord only knows what else, compliments of my brothers, apologizing to me.

Yup, that was Eric - his way of righting the wrongs of the world certainly got attention and ever after reverence.

Me, I just miss that big 'ol lug!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Quit touching my stuff!

Do I sound like a 6 year old yelling at my sibling??  Well, ya know - that's how I feel sometimes.

I repeatedly say that I am very happy and in a great marriage.  HOWEVER, nothing is absolutely perfect all the time & sometimes we get on each other's nerves.  Ya know - sort of like siblings.

Living in the same house with someone every single day takes work.  Nothing is perfect all the time & you definitely trip over each other's things now and again, or like a 12 year old - try to encroach upon the other's territory.

If you have the "pleasure" of seeing my Facebook status' you know that my hubby was in the virtual dog house with me yesterday for....  Touching my stuff!

Yeah, there I said it - I'm a six year old and big bad Wag touched my stuff!  Not once, but twice this week!  First I couldn't find my Elway jersey, which he felt belonged in the basement closet with all the rest of the jerseys (NOT) then it was my Cusinart Griddler, which was in the garage...  Yeah, garage.  Why???

Ok, so can I get a flag here for encroachment??  Oh - yeah, wrong meaning, wrong story... Anyway - My kitchen.  I cook.  I need my utensils where I put them...  I mean, I'd LOVE to put my truck in one of the garages - where the bikes live, but whatever.

I don't play in his garage or touch his stuff, not that I have any clue what half the stuff is in there.  Don't touch mine - especially if you want to eat!

See, I told you - we each have our turn in the barrel & we each step on each other's nerves.

I hope to have  made myself clear about leaving MY things in their spot, but who knows.

Being in the same house with another person is always a challenge.  I guess the point is to make sure that the gears fit properly and things work themselves out.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Friday, January 13, 2012

God Bless My Hubby

...and I mean this without the slightest bit of sarcasm.

I, dear folks, am a handful.  I know this.  I don't try to hide it, and hubby was fully aware of what he was getting into.

I'm reminded of the line in the movie, The Notebook, where Noah says to Ally, “Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass.  Which you are, 99% of the time.  I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings.  You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back to doing the next pain-in-the-ass-thing.”

He lovingly calls me a diva, which I'm not sure I totally agree with.  I think that's just his nice way of saying that I'm a pain in the a** without actually saying so.  I may give him a run for his money, but I'm a woman.  That's my job.

As you have noticed - I mess with my hubby.  It's all in good fun & I always have my turn in the barrel.
I do my Jenn things - sometimes I embarrass him (not in a bad way).  I'm a hopeless flirt, which he ignores and I can definitely lose control at times.  He lets me go and then reels me in.  Oh, he has his moments too, believe me.  On the rare occasion that he flirts - he gets all cute and red in the face.  Sometimes when things get him angry, he runs to the end of his chain and barks like a junk yard dog.  Then I reel him in.  :)

When it really comes down to it, we take care of each other.  Partners.  We're both the same when it comes to loyalty and commitment.  We're in it for the long haul.

I wasn't always the luckiest in love, prior to my husband.  As the Millionaire Matchmaker would say, "my picker was off".

I truly believe there is a lid for every pot.  It's not always the exact right fit.  My brother and his ex-wife - GREAT friends.  They were so cute together.  They'd have pinching wars & laugh and joke around - but when they fought, they FOUGHT!  She's happily remarried & they remain good friends - it just didn't quite fit.  I've seen that in the past.  Not only with myself, but with other couples that didn't quite make it.  Love and friendship together are great, but sometimes the "gears" need to fit exactly right for the wheels to turn properly.

Mostly in my life, even young - I was able to spot the things that didn't quite work.  No matter how I felt, I just knew that it was better to be friends and not date.  In a few moments of stupidity and insecurity - I ignored those things & made mistakes.  Sad really, looking back - because each time I knew I wasn't where I needed to be.

I'm thankful now - not only do I have a wonderful friend, partner, husband - but he can put up with my crap!  All of it!  ...and I can put up with his.

Yeah, I might be a pain in the a**, but as long at I'm his pain in the a**, that's all that matters.

That, my friends - is what everyone deserves...  The one person who will be absolutely in love with every single breath you take.  Pain in the a** and all!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Thursday, January 12, 2012

New and different ways to horrify my child....

My little girl is quiet and fairly shy, unlike her "in your face" momma...

She's pretty quiet & reserved like her daddy.  She embarrasses easily & will always be more apt to sit back and watch rather than participate.

She's 9, and starting to develop - which alone is horrifying her.

While on the phone with a family member, my husband was discussing the issue at hand & a specific female related health issue.  Of course, my little darling was eavesdropping and heard the word uterus.  A little bit later, she asked, "Mommy, what's a uterus again?"  So in my very mature way, I explained that it's a female part of the body - it's where the babies live before they're born.  I then said, you have a uterus.

Dun, dun, dun....  Her jaw dropped & she got a horrified look on her face.  "I HAVE A UTERUS?"  It wasn't bad enough that she is changing and not liking it, but the realization of actually having a body part that holds a baby was enough to set her into orbit.

Now to have a little fun....  Guess what, honey - you also have ovaries!  Ovaries hold the EGGS that help to make the babies...  ha ha....  She held her hands over her ears - la la la la la - I can't hear you...

I actually think it's incredibly cute.  I had / have no intention of going any further on how the babies actually get into the uterus - that's totally a conversation for when she's 27 or 28 :)

I'm keeping my baby girl as innocent as I can for as long as possible.

In the meantime, I've got some fodder for my own personal entertainment when she starts acting, um - girlie...

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Monday, January 9, 2012

Don't wait - do it now!

Once upon a time, I dreamed of buying & restoring a turn of the century Victorian or Plantation style home.

Now that I'm (much) older and less enthusiastic - that dream has fallen by the wayside, but I always think about the what if...  What IF I'd actually followed through on my dream while I was dreaming it?

I believe that we are all caught up in the notion that we are immortal.  That we will live forever on earth.  That we won't grow older & that things won't start to hurt.  That we'll get to it tomorrow and then when tomorrow comes & we look back - we didn't follow through.  Ouch!

Mostly I've always been a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal.  I do live in the moment for the most part - though with age, I've both slowed down and wised up.  Some stuff just should be thought through before taking that giant leap into the void of the unknown.  But then again, what if?

My diving in head long without thought has definitely cost me a few life lessons - but it's all good.  I've had my set backs, but I'm pretty tough.  I still manage to move ahead.

We're given such a beautiful life & opportunity.  Life is soooo uncertain - no one is guaranteed tomorrow.  One brush with death or sickness will wake you up to that quick!  But why wait?

Everything is within reach - everything!  Grab it - quick!  What if tomorrow never comes & you continue to drive by all of those wonderful Victorians & think....  Man, that could have been mine...

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Don't Blink...

One of the most common sayings I've heard about how quickly time flies is, "the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes."

Wow, that's no joke!

Looking around at my pictures, it's very apparent how true that really is! I see the picture of my beautiful little princess, who is now nine and over to the right where we have a collage when she was just two.  Then I look over to the pictures of my almost 3 & 5 year old "chickadees", who were only 5 months & 2 when I got them.  20 months & 3 1/2 when they moved on.

The biggest wow is my little boy...  a man.  Well, a young man - but a man at that.  How the heck did that happen?  I blinked.

All this being said, my boy has been gone, at writing, 22 days - which includes 2 holidays without any contact other than the typical "formal form type".  These days have gone so slow, I can't even begin to tell you.

Every day I run to the mail box for a letter, nothing yet.  I feel like I did when I was 12 years old - at my grand parent's house in NC for the summer, waiting for a letter from my friends.  No internet, no phone calls - just like the olden days.  This is surely a lesson in patience for me.  Have I mentioned patience is not my strong suit?

I've always been told to not wish my life away - which I never do.  I don't plan & I live for the moment - I do look ahead to my son's graduation in a few months.  Once I get there, I'm going to pry my eyes wide open so I don't blink.

Because I'm sure, the next time I do - my baby boy will be all grown up with a family of his own & my baby girl will be right behind him.

Don't blink!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

After Holiday Chaos...

As I type, I'm looking ahead to a (very) dead tree in my living room with accompanying needles all over the floor.

I will never, ever succumb to the artificial tree thing - no offense to those who do.  I like a real tree.  I like the smell & I like that there's not yet another thing I need to pack up and put away.  For $10 the boy scouts come & take it away.

Christmas is officially put away, except for the dead tree - but I haven't gotten that far yet.  What a mess.  Needles, decorations, candy canes - little pieces of stuff just everywhere & boxes.

As this all goes on, my husband is helping me & the girls are playing nicely.  Chaos isn't all that chaotic today as I breakdown all the decor I worked so hard at less than a month ago.

I'd like to pass on a little nugget of knowledge that I've gained this year...Vaporizer!

Have you noticed that you get much sicker once the tree goes up, or comes down from the attic & you're all decorated?  Well - if it came from outside - it's probably got a type of mold on it. AND decorations from the attic or where ever ... also full of dust & mold.  The vaporizer, as I've learned - actually kills the mold associated with wet tree & dust!  Not only that, but it helps boost the life of your tree AND makes that wonderful Christmas smell emanate through your house!!  Love it!!

That, for sure - will be one thing that I miss as I put the decoration part of Christmas away.  I like looking at the pretty, pretty tree & lights - all of the red, green & silver.  It's just so beautiful - but I'm totally ready for the mess to be gone!

Hubby is currently sweeping pine needles for me, as I've expired and am to the couch (boo).

I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season & that whatever chaos you have, or will ensue passes quickly!

Welcome to 2012!

I wish each and ever one of you a happy, healthy, safe & prosperous new year!

Lots of love & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn