Some things make me very sad....

If you haven't been reading from the beginning, or never caught the reference- my husband and I are foster parents.

We are beginning to slow down now, because frankly - I'm tired.  I love the kids - but it's just getting to be too much for me these days.

We are in contact with a few of the kids that have passed through our home & have wonderful relationships with them and their families.  I love the ability to see when they've moved on to a good place.

Sometimes, things do make me sad though.

We got to see a few of our babies recently.  Bio Mom & Dad were there as well.  They do not have custody of these babies & there aren't any hard feelings harbored in any direction.  They know we loved their babies, and we know they just couldn't do it.  Not everyone can.

Being an outsider looking in - but with a heart for the babies, I got to see so much.  It became glaringly obvious why these parents couldn't have their kids.

When we first started fostering, depending upon the situation, I used to advocate for the parents.  I'd take care of the babies, but I would also do my best to work with the moms for the best interest of their kids.  I feel that if this is the undertaking I am going to be involved in, I need to be open to all possibilities.

This is actually the case that broke my heart & caused me to open my eyes and really look.  To not be so trusting and naive & to toughen up.

I my friends am a total and complete mush!

If you don't know this about me - I always try to be "Princess Save the World."  I genuinely want to help people who need to be helped and I take it very hard when I can't help someone.  I take it even harder when I give my all, only to find out these people have been playing me.  My fault, I trusted them - I know.

I still truly believe that most people are inherently good.

Deep down, underneath all the crap - there's a sparkling heart of gold waiting to surface.  Why I think I'm the one who can dig through all the crap to surface it is beyond me, but I try.

These parents very clearly love their children.  You can see the love, even through their random melt downs, hands shaking, clearly either high or "Jonesing" for a high.

The love is there, it's just buried under the crap.

The babies already understand what's going on & they try to stay away from the Bio's.

This broke my heart for Bio's as they chased the kids down.  

Longing for their love.

It goes back to what I said in a prior post - If you can't love yourself, you can't properly love someone else.

Those babies are in good hands now with their wonderful and caring relatives.  They are well loved.  I feel blessed to be able to see that.

Of course, we'd have kept them in a heartbeat, but they belong with their family.


I wish there were more I could do for the Bio's.  Seeing them makes me feel sad, but knowing those babies are so well loved makes my heart sing with joy.

We know that we've done as we were called to & we are being rewarded by continuing in their lives.


For this, I am truly thankful.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Ah what's Eleven More for the Day After Memorial Day....

I've actually done one of these before, but Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom tagged me and I love this crap...so what the heck, right?


I've changed it up some to keep it interesting and fun.

I've been blessed with so many new friends.  I'm so happy to have you all in my little bloggie community.  I hope you'll go on & add others and continue to pass the love on. 

Here are the rules:

You must post these rules.  Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog. 
 

Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.  Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her.  No tag backs and you legitimately have to tag 11 people. 
 
Eleven Things About Me: 

1.  I'm a proud momma of a Naval Airman.
2.  I go to church.  I'm far from perfect, but I am a believer and I don't try to hide it.
3.  I'm a 100% loyal friend.  I don't like people hurting or talking badly about my friends.  I'm like a bear momma protecting my cubs.
4.  I'm a foster parent.
5.  I am entirely too goofy for my age.  Even my kids roll their eyes.
6.  I've only truly been in love 3 times in my life.  I regret none.  My husband is, of course, the last and greatest of the three :)
7.  I have to work 4 times as hard at work to prove myself, but I still have to dumb it down.
8.   I'm still friends with my very first friend & we're not related.  We met when we were 2.
10. I love nice things, but prefer the simple life.
11. I love to work.  I could stay home if I wanted to, but why?  My kids are in school & I love my job!

The questions I've been commissioned to answer:

1.  Which celebrity would you like to have dinner with and why?  David Beckham, because he's pretty to look at.  No other reason.
2.  What is your biggest vice?  I curse too much.  Working on that.
3.  What's your favorite Johnny Cash song?  Ring of Fire
4.  Beatles or Stones?  Beatles
5.  Red or Blue and why?  Red 
6.  Favorite SNL sketch of all time and why?  OLD SNL - Czechoslovakian Playboys - Wild & Crazy Guys.  Steve Martin has always totally cracked me up! 
7.  The meal you would order as your last if you were on death row would be?  Prime Rib, Roasted Red Potatoes, Fresh Grilled Veggies - a big ol glass of red & Chocolate Mousse
8.  The song you find most repulsive.  Don't Worry Be Happy
9.  Your favorite president and why.   Ronald Regan
10. Catch phrase you hate the most.  ??  Not really sure.
11. How you would've like the last Oprah show to end instead of how it did.  Don't care, not a fan...sorry :(

Here are the 11 people I have tagged: 

       1.  Carrie's Experimental Kitchen

       2.  Ramblings From An Upside Down Life

       3.  Funny Pregnant Lady

       4.  Our Cuckoo's Nest

       5.  A Father of Four

       6. An Imperfect Life 

       7. Bad Word Mama

       8. Dollops of Diane

       9. What I had REALLY meant to say

     10. Attracted to Shiny Things

     11. One Tired Mama

Because I like to share the love... I take this one step beyond and ask that you please go on over and like these pages... Go tell them that Jenn @ Daily Jenn-ism sent you over.
I know, I mixed up Facebook Pages & Blog pages... I may have even double tagged... Sorry... 
 

Here are your questions, should you choose to accept the challenge:

• What’s the last impulse buy you made?
• Would you prefer to have 5 acquaintances or 1 friend?  Why?
• When was the last time you drank a bottle of alcohol by yourself?
• Have you ever regretted loving someone?
• When was the last time you were super happy?
• What’s the funniest thing you’ve said today?
• Why do you press harder on the remote when you know it’s the battery that’s going dead?
• What’s the color of your toothbrush?
• What are your nicknames?
• What’s your ringtone?
•  What would come up on a Google search of your name?

Even if you haven't been tagged & want to play, I'd love to hear your answers!  Have fun &  visit some fun new blogs!

As always, thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Sentimental Me....

Well, here it is - Friday morning, finally and I've got nothing ready to go on my little "blog hopper."  I've got plenty started - but nothing actually ready to go.  So here I am, at 6 am, trying to hurry up and get caffeinated to get this blog of mine completed and out there with at least SOME meaningful tone.

You do know I've had people here, right??  While they're here, I'm at least trying to be good little hostess.  Meaning that I don't want to sit here with the computer stuck to my face as often as I normally do.


Here's what I'd started...if it again leaves you with the whole, "what the hell did I just read?"  Just keep in mind, I'm brushing this up on a day I thought was Saturday when I woke up.  I'm sadly disappointed that it's only Friday and I'm headed for a rushed, not fun filled weekend.  (I plan to work on that fun filled part.) 

Truth is, I'm missing my alone time.  The time in the morning and after work where the house is quiet.  Where I can just plop down on my couch - watch my DVR'ed shows and blog or read my blogs.  Or do nothing at all but remember.

Sometimes people get mad at me because I love to reminisce.  To just sit back and remember the "good ol' days".

I don't care.  I love my past.  All of it - even the crap.  It's all helped me to become the person I am today.  The people I love or have loved.  Makes me smile on rainy days like today, where I've just been a total cranky pants.

For some of you who have known me forever & are thinking WHY would she want to remember??  Yeah, I know - I did not have a stellar childhood, but who the hell cares?  It's not like I can do anything about it now.  I did stuff I'm not proud of.  I've seen and experienced things that I wish I could completely delete from my memory banks forever.  I've taught myself most things & learned hard lessons by trial and error.  I've had my heart broken & I've broken hearts. I wouldn't change a thing.  I am one big beautiful mess and I'm OK with that.

I embrace it all.  I've got some really amazing memories mixed in with those really dark days.  I love to think about some of these things & people.  It makes me smile, even laugh out loud.

Sometimes when things suck, I'll roll my brain back into rewind, fall into my own "Private Idaho" and stroll through the corridors of my mind.  No, no - it's too scary a place for all of you.

I've still got some of the people around whom I've brought dragged along into my present.  I'm fortunate enough to be able to still throw out totally off the wall stuff & know they'll laugh along with me.  No one else will get it, but they'll bust a gut.  I also know, looking ahead into my future, that in 20 more years, they'll still be laughing with me - or at me, it really could go either way.

So often I wish I had my little time machine to go back and just participate in some of those really fun times, not change - participate.  I hold them tightly to me, as I do all of you who have come along with me - and to those of you who didn't, for one reason or another.

I'm rolling into the time of year where I usually get a little melancholy thinking of Gary, my dad & brother.  But I've decided to turn that all around & instead of being sad that they all left this planet too soon - I'm going to smile on the good ol days.

I'm sentimental like that.  So you, yes you...You are now a part of my past, present & hopefully future and I love you all.

Happy Friday!!

As always, thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

PS.  Hubby WAS mad about yesterday's post...  I've got some butt kissing to do.

Oh.... And done with 4 minutes to spare before the girls get out of bed!

The Adventures of Waggy in Grocery Land...

As I've mentioned before, my husband does the grocery shopping.

This was his idea, not mine.  He thinks he's saving money & I hate to grocery shop - so it's a total win win in that area.

Now honey, if you're reading this - and I know you are since you saw your name, put on your sense of humor pants and just in case you forget to be good humored, I love you :)

Soooo....hubby gets himself ready to go shopping.  He is awesome with his little list and the store circular and his coupons.  I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it.  Yeah, I appreciate a man who has it all together.

Then out the door he goes, and the phone rings.  My gosh, honey - you just pulled out of the driveway - what could you possibly need?

Ok, now onto the grocery store...First, the produce aisle -- picks up the phone Dial "Sweetness".  That's me.  Isn't he cute?

Hubby:  "Honey, those small red potatoes you want...  Well they're $5 for a 1 lb bag."

Me:  "Yes dear, I know.  That's why I wanted to get them from Circle Farms.  They're better and cheaper."

Hubby:  "Well how about I get the white ones instead.  They're cheaper."

Me:  "No dear, if you want the potatoes I make - you need to get the ones I ask for or it won't taste the same."

Hubby:  "They're just potatoes & the 5 lb bag is only $2."

Me:  (In a huff.)

"Listen, you wanted me to make you those certain potatoes.  That's what I need to make them and that's what you need to get.  They have a different flavor.  Ya know what do what you want - get them, don't get them - spend $5 bucks, don't spend $5 - I don't care!  You asked me what I need, I'm telling you what I need.  That's what I need."

Conversation over...

He came home with what he thought was right and got 2 bags.  Not his fault, the grocery store does not have what the farmer's market has.

Let's go to Issue #2 - but not without an explanation first.

I do the cooking.  I like to cook, he likes to eat.  Things taste a certain way because I use the ingredients I like to use & prefer.  I don't count pennies - I want my family to be happy.  I get what I want.

So when I say I want Hellmann's mayonnaise.  Don't bring me home Kraft - or worse, Miracle Whip.  Because the next time I cook you something you're going to say (think whiney) This tassstttteeessss different.  It's missing something.  Yeah, it's missing my Hellmann's!  

 

Ketchup - Heinz.  Yeah, I don't care what the world thinks about Teresa Heinz - her family makes damn good ketchup!  Don't mess with it.  I like it & that's what I want!  AND if you're gonna buy me Hunt's - YES things will taste different!

Don't even get me started on store brand items.

I will only eat Green Giant canned corn.  Green Giant corn is the ONLY canned vegetable I will eat.  Frozen corn tastes mealy to me.  I don't like it.  Bring me home another canned vegetable & it will sit in the pantry forever.

Yes, I know I sound like a spoiled brat - and no, I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth.  My mother was a horrid cook & we ate frozen fish sticks, Kraft Mac & Cheese (it was probably store brand) and Goobers PB&J.  I have evolved into spoiled brat at my own volition.

Oooh this was supposed to be about hubby's issues wasn't it??  Oh well - I rank in the issues department anyway, and it all rolls back to me.  Remember?  My blog, My blog!

I truly do appreciate my husband doing the grocery shopping - as I said, I hate it.  He can tolerate the deli line & he also leaves the house at like 7 am on a Sunday morning.  Momma is still enjoying her beauty sleep at that time.

He strolls through the store and flirts with the seafood lady.  He runs into the other grocery dads here & there.  They compare notes about the kids (the big ones) and move along.  It's like the coffee clutch for dads.  Or not...

On a serious note - yes there may be 1200 phone calls & arguments from the second he walks out the door until he walks back in with 8 bag of groceries BUT he is willing to step up and help me out.  That is something I truly appreciate...

And every once in a while, I totally mess with him & these are the makings of really good stories!  (click on the link for another story)

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

PS.  Love you, honey :)  xxoo

Whoa... How the hell did YOUR horse get so high??

I've made no secret how I feel about judgement.

I'm all about the "those who live in glass houses" rule.

Yeah, sometimes I have an opinion, but for the most part - I don't judge you, don't judge me!

If you haven't noticed...I'm annoyed - and as we all know - when I'm annoyed, upset, happy, or watching the grass grow - I blog about it!  So yes, this will be a bitch-fest.

I like him so much, I brought him back

I'm not going to get specific because I can't be - it seems like the crap is flying from so many different directions, I can't even duck properly!  I feel like I have this giant target on my back and people have really good aim!  At first I thought I was just being sensitive, perhaps a little hormonal - but nope.  It's still coming like rapid fire from all directions, and in directions where I expect it the least.  WTH?

I'm a good person.  I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I do what I'm supposed to do.  I know the rules and I follow them, well most of the time.  When I do, it's the important rules & I follow them pretty much across the board... Ok - fine - yes I tend to live by the "tis better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" rule, but that's usually just for silly stuff.  When it comes to the real stuff, I try to be all on.

So when someone says something in the line of judgement against me, it hits me like a ton of bricks.  Especially when it comes from someone who is important to me in some way - and I get totally defensive!  I piss and moan & talk about it - because it bothers the ever living crap out of me that someone who KNOWS ME (or at least should) would say mean and hurtful things to me - that they know are not true!

Yes, I know I have a big mouth.  I know my filter is mostly jammed open and I have no problem speaking my mind.  It's a love it or hate it thing, but those who know me - know this.  Now it's going to bother you??  Really??

Get a grip!  Is it really me?  Or, perhaps are you feeling a little lowly about yourself these days and you need to drag me down??

Well guess what, no thank you.  You wanna have your little slingfest - go rock on with that.  I'm good with me.  All of me.  The good, the bad & the ugly - and most of my friends - they know where they stand with me.  You don't need to wonder!

OK.... So here is what I have to say...  Going to church doesn't make you any more a good Christian than going into a garage makes you a Porsche.  Having a small house doesn't make you poor & having a big one doesn't make you a better person.  Being from Columbia doesn't make you a drug dealer & having gone to college doesn't necessarily make you smart.

It's all in what we do with what the gift we're given and what we've got inside our hearts that makes us who we are.

It's about thinking of ourselves less than others & doing the right thing.

THIS is how I try to lead my life.

I'll be the first one to tell you that I'm all messed up & a perpetual work in progress.

If you look down your nose at me because of who I am or the people I surround myself with or by the things I do in a moment - shame on you!

That doesn't define me, or them.

It defines you!

So who are you??

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

My Psychosis.... get your own!

I blog mostly to relieve stress, but also to throw out my random deep thoughts, my whacked out thoughts & whatever I darn well please.   

Most of the time, it's to shake the crazies out of my brain and get them out & into cyber space, where fine people like you can read & further justify my psychosis.  Thank you!  :)  

It's not always "normal" because, let's face it...I'M not quite "normal."  Thank God!

It's my psychosis, I own it.  I love it and I roll around in it.

Almost every day I make fun of myself in some way.  I never claim to be perfect & I'm really glad that I'm not!

Have I ever tried to hide my freak flag?  Nope - there it is... Flying high just where I left it.

I think most of us have our very own brand of freak-a-zoid hanging out inside.  Sometimes it's begging to break free.  Some of us are "too cool" to let our guard down & be real - others too busy.  The only time I really need to be serious, is at work - and even then, I deal with folks in the entertainment industry.  Hello... freaks!!  Love it!

I always say that we humans share many common threads & I've well noted that.  On some days, I'll throw something out there in my very Jenn little way and a few days, weeks - or sometimes minutes later - someone else has their own spin of how the same thing has occurred in their life.  Many of us are moms - we're picking boogers, wiping butts, cleaning up CONSTANTLY & running on pure adrenaline.  Even if you're not a mom - we all seem to take on more than we can even list.  We've all got different versions of the same story!

I read these blogs & laugh my butt off - because I know you can't make this stuff up!

Knowing this, it sometimes makes me wonder why some people have a blog at all.  If you've got nothing to say - don't blog that day.

Yes, we're all attention mongers... Well, I'll speak for myself....Hello, "Attention Ho" here!

What I'm trying to say is it's distressing when you pour yourself out on your page & someone swoops on in & duplicates it.  Wow!  Really?

Imitation is said to be the finest form of flattery, but plagiarism is just wrong.  Especially in this little bloggie community.  I feel we all need to give kudos where kudos are due.  Love and support each other.  I'll be the first to admit...pictures?  I learned pictures from The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess and I'm grateful for that knowledge, but my writing is my writing.  I give credit where credit is due.  At least I try :)

Sometimes you really do need to just skip a day - or four to shake the cobwebs out.
The love will still be there.

I love all of my fellow bloggers.


I've learned so much from so many of you.  I've loved learning your lives, laughing and crying, being pissed off or happy - or just totally stressed out with you all.

Please know, that I will only be spewing my own psychosis...

Thank you for reading my blog... 


~Jenn

(OK - now honestly.... How many of you just read that & thought... "What the hell did I just read?"  lol)

-isms from the Neighborhood Kids

I love being the house that the neighborhood kids feel comfortable to come hang out at.

Granted, they're all under 13 so far, but it's good groundwork to lay.



Kyle was the perfect example, to this mom, of how important it is to keep kids busy (think out of trouble) & making kids feel that they have a safe & comfortable place to go and hang out.  Even the youngins.

For now, it's me and the short ones.  Which again - we love.  They're all just so stinkin' cute!

On Mother's Day, after things began to wind down - I finally relaxed, poured myself a glass of wine & decided to sit out back in the hammock and watch the kids on the trampoline.  When they noticed how comfy I was on the hammock, they decided to join me.

I had 7 year old on one side and 5 year old on the other.  Here's conversation #1

7 year old, "Miss Jenn, is she your sister?"

Moi, "No, she's my sister in law"

7 year old, "What does that mean?"

Moi, "It means she's Wag's sister, so she's my sister in law"

7 year old, "Oh, so she's a Waggy People"

Moi, (laughing, of course) "Why yes, she IS a Waggy People"

5 year old, "Well how about Ben's mom?  Is she a Waggy People, or is she a Miss Jenn People"

Moi, laughing harder "Nope, she's a Waggy People too"

5 year old:  "Are there any Miss Jenn people?"

Moi:  "Not here.  You could be a Jenn people if you want."

5 year old:  "Nope - I'm a Jack people"

Change in line of questioning: interrogation (for purposes of this portion of questioning):

5 year old:  "Miss Jenn, what are you drinking?"

Moi:  "I'm drinking a glass of wine.  Whoops, don't jump - I don't want to spill it."

5 year old:  "Why don't you want to spill it?  Do you like it that much?  Can't you just get more?"

Moi:  "Yes, I could get more - but I want to enjoy this glass and I don't want to have to do laundry."

5 year old:  "Don't you like laundry?"

7 year old:  "My mom doesn't like laundry."

5 year old:  "I don't think moms like laundry.  Do you like to drink?"

Ha... There it is...

Moi:  "Yes, I do like to drink sometimes."  (Trying to answer the question appropriately and steer away from alcohol related questioning.)

5 year old:  "Well, do you like to drink everyday?"

Oh boy...  Where is this going, I now wonder...  Again, trying to give an appropriate answer to 5 year old, but totally taking advantage of the ability to answer honestly sarcastically without anyone catching on.

Moi:  "Well sometimes, I'd LOVE to be able to drink everyday, but I don't.  It's not good for you."

Oh little bunny... little bunny wabbit....

5 year old:  "Well, I LOVE to drink every day and I'd like to drink all day long."

Ohhhh the innocence of children.


The same cute, funny little boy also told me he was leaving the Easter Bunny beer & a bologna sandwich!  I love it!

Eeek, and I thought he was just missing his bologna sandwich!

I think that it's awesome that their parents are raising these kids with such a great sense of humor.  A sense of humor is desperately needed while entering our little residential zone.

You just never know what's coming out of the mouths of anyone here, but I'm always waiting for the next laugh.

Because kids surely DO say the darndest things!

Thank you for reading my blog!!

~Jenn