Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Whoa... How the hell did YOUR horse get so high??

I've made no secret how I feel about judgement.

I'm all about the "those who live in glass houses" rule.

Yeah, sometimes I have an opinion, but for the most part - I don't judge you, don't judge me!

If you haven't noticed...I'm annoyed - and as we all know - when I'm annoyed, upset, happy, or watching the grass grow - I blog about it!  So yes, this will be a bitch-fest.

I like him so much, I brought him back
I'm not going to get specific because I can't be - it seems like the crap is flying from so many different directions, I can't even duck properly!  I feel like I have this giant target on my back and people have really good aim!  At first I thought I was just being sensitive, perhaps a little hormonal - but nope.  It's still coming like rapid fire from all directions, and in directions where I expect it the least.  WTH?

I'm a good person.  I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I do what I'm supposed to do.  I know the rules and I follow them, well most of the time.  When I do, it's the important rules & I follow them pretty much across the board... Ok - fine - yes I tend to live by the "tis better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" rule, but that's usually just for silly stuff.  When it comes to the real stuff, I try to be all on.

So when someone says something in the line of judgement against me, it hits me like a ton of bricks.  Especially when it comes from someone who is important to me in some way - and I get totally defensive!  I piss and moan & talk about it - because it bothers the ever living crap out of me that someone who KNOWS ME (or at least should) would say mean and hurtful things to me - that they know are not true!

Yes, I know I have a big mouth.  I know my filter is mostly jammed open and I have no problem speaking my mind.  It's a love it or hate it thing, but those who know me - know this.  Now it's going to bother you??  Really??

Get a grip!  Is it really me?  Or, perhaps are you feeling a little lowly about yourself these days and you need to drag me down??

Well guess what, no thank you.  You wanna have your little slingfest - go rock on with that.  I'm good with me.  All of me.  The good, the bad & the ugly - and most of my friends - they know where they stand with me.  You don't need to wonder!

OK.... So here is what I have to say...  Going to church doesn't make you any more a good Christian than going into a garage makes you a Porsche.  Having a small house doesn't make you poor & having a big one doesn't make you a better person.  Being from Columbia doesn't make you a drug dealer & having gone to college doesn't necessarily make you smart.

It's all in what we do with what the gift we're given and what we've got inside our hearts that makes us who we are.

It's about thinking of ourselves less than others & doing the right thing.

THIS is how I try to lead my life.

I'll be the first one to tell you that I'm all messed up & a perpetual work in progress.

If you look down your nose at me because of who I am or the people I surround myself with or by the things I do in a moment - shame on you!

That doesn't define me, or them.

It defines you!

So who are you??

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

2 comments:

  1. Jenn, sorry you're going through some difficulty. Glad you have this blog so you can let it out and get support! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us everyday.

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  2. Aw Jenn, that was very touching. Hope things get better and yes, you are a good person.

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