Friday, January 24, 2014

Kevin Sorbo, as Hercules, and I are super good friends. No...He doesn't know about it.

Oh, Kevin - you're so funny.
Kevin and I first "met" when my son was little - very little, like 3 or 4 years old.  My son was all about Hercules:  The Legendary Journeys, or as my son referred to him, Perc-a-lese.  It was a show my son used to watch with his father.

After his father and I separated, it became my solemn duty to be my dear child's viewing partner, and when it was time for Hercules to begin, my little boy was ready to go on a Legendary Journey, action figure in hand.

"Let's go mommy!"

Let me again state, for the record,  I did NOT start out watching this show with him.  I was just the ever devoted mommy, catering to my young child's every need.  I had no clue of the wonders about to be set forth before me.

Preparation was important.
I created a perfectly comfy nest in Kyle's polyvinyl Batman tent (the tent, that I'm sure the fumes of are responsible for the death of many brain cells, which led to my inability to properly cook popcorn in the microwave).  I smoothed the Hercules sleeping bag and filled our viewing area with lots of big fluffy pillows.  Then brought the popcorn and climbed in...my dear sweet child by my side, the Kevin, I mean Hercules action figure between us, popcorn bowl in front of us.

Let the viewing begin.

Back then, Kevin was like sparkling new china to me.  He was just this long haired, shirtless, totally ripped hottie - a delight to the eye!  I mean, come on - HERCULES!!  Duh.  What's not to love?

Many a morning, I'd wake up all snuggled closely with the Kevin / Hercules action figure (jammed in my rib cage), popcorn stuck to the side of my face, on the floor - while my son was ferociously sword fighting with his Eolis action figure because Herc was sleeping with mom again.

Please don't get the wrong idea.  It was perfectly innocent, I swear!

Our time together was consistent.  Every, um Friday night, I believe??  I can no longer recall the dates, just the routine; Dinner, bath, popcorn, polyvinyl tent, Hercules sleeping bag - Hercules action figure...Legendary Journeys.

I soon began to not mind waking to the Kevin / Hercules figure in my side.  The impression would there for a week, sure, and every time I leaned the wrong way, I'd feel that sharp pain in my side.  Then I'd remember.... It's OK, Jenn... It's just Kevin/Herc.

I didn't even feel guilty about the time we were spending together.  After all, I didn't have to worry about introducing him to my son.  My son already knew and loved him.  Our relationship blossomed from there.

The was also shopping, and role play!

When one of the many a Hercules action figure became decapitated, I got to run to the nearest Toys r Us to find another.  Who would have known Eolis' strength in action figure form???  Every decapitation came with tears - and mommy running to buy another...until there were none in the stores. Left only to scoured the internet, I bought 4.  (Two of which are still in a box in my attic. I swear I don't sleep with them anymore.)
We would never run out again!

I got to be "your" ever faithful sidekick, Eolis.  I was - after all, the short goofy one, even if I was mom.  Why would I ever think I could be the mighty Hercules??  My son had that covered....

Then I met my husband, who just didn't get the routine.  He didn't snuggle in the Batman tent on the sleeping bag with us, nor did he appreciate Kevin / Herc's place beside us.  He, instead, watched from afar.
I think he may have been jealous of our secret friendship.

He even went so far as teasing me with the... "ooooh, Kevin Sorbo" in total school boy / school yard fashion.  Jealous.  He never understood.

I mean... Hercules AND of viking descent... Be still my heart.

I'll admit...I did, also, become jealous.  A Golden Hind??  Really???  I could have been a goddess, ya know - given the opportunity to shave BOTH legs.  And my hind isn't so bad, if I do say so myself.  It was the immortality bit, wasn't it??  I mean, it's not like the Golden Hind even shaved one leg!  Pfftt.

OK, FINE - she's pretty.  She's immortal and she's empathetic.  Big whoop.  I'm over it.

Our ritual continued, nevertheless...week after week, until just like that...you were gone.

We didn't know you were sick.  We never had a clue.  Sure, there was Xena... but ya know, I wanted my hard bodied Herc.  While my son and husband thought Xena was hot stuff...her tight body just didn't do it for me.

For years, I wandered blindly through celebrity hunks.  Matthew McConaughey, David Beckham - OK.  Pretty to look at, but not the mighty viking / Herc.  Never the mighty viking / Herc.

:sigh:

Then, one day, just like that - there you were.  Right in front of me... on Facebook.

I rubbed my eyes - I couldn't believe it!

My world, all at once seemed brighter.  The stale smell of poly vinyl faded and the delightful scent of freshly popped popcorn gently wafted through the air...Could it be?

Then I saw it...in writing - the book of explanation...True Strength.

It was as if you knew you owed me an explanation as to your whereabouts over the years.

I finally understood.

Now, here you are again...no longer Herc - but Kevin.  My buddy, my pal.  A friendship of the mind and figment of my imagination... no matter. You're back, you're back!

True, there are still Hercules action figures somewhere in this house, but I haven't had to sleep with them in YEARS and my young boy is now a man, serving our country.

Those days seem so far away now, but always remain close at heart.  My friend, Kevin/Hercules/Perc-a-lese, it was wonderful having you along on our Legendary Journey.

Thanks for the memories!

See people... It's true.  I REALLY AM super good friends with Kevin Sorbo, as Hercules.  He just doesn't know it.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

As a side note... I have highlighted Kevin's book, True Strength.
While I will always admit that his Hercules character got my attention - this book will get your attention.  This book truly shows another side of Kevin Sorbo.  He is an amazingly strong individual, devoted husband and family man.  I have gained so much respect for this man and his fight while reading this book.  I highly recommend the read.  Especially if you are someone, like me, who has or continues to fight through a health issue you didn't think you'd see the other side of.

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4 comments:

  1. Ha, ha ha, that was so funny. Why don't you just contact Kevin to let him know you're plugging his book? Take a deep breath and go for it. I'm sure he'll appreciate reading the post too, and it could be the beginning of a lovely friendship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh...I'm not shy. I already have :)
      Thank you so much for your constant support!
      I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness!

      Delete
  2. Loved it. It's fun to be silly. Let us know if he writes you back!!! :-)

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  3. I love the humor! I'm laughing while imagining this. I had fun reading.

    ReplyDelete

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