I'm not that girl....

Hey all...
I know, holy crap - she's got something to say.

Amazing what a little R&R can do for you.

So recently I've been away.  A well needed vacation gave me an opportunity to relax, decompress and make friends with my husband again.

No, no - no issues.  All's well.  It's just that the whole daily grind definitely makes you forget, sometimes, how much you really love your partner and why.  It was nice to have "us" time, which was very possible thanks to the Kid's Club on the ship.

Recently while we were out, I was having a conversation with a woman I'd never met before.  She was this tall, skinny long legged, long haired blonde - very "Barbie-esque".

I don't judge.  I think I've established that many times here - so when I get judge, it sort of freaks me out.  Especially since what this other person said to me really shocked me on so many levels - because I'm not that girl!

While I was chatting with this woman, she began talking down about herself.  I didn't get it and told her, "I don't know what you see when you look in the mirror - but you're a stunning woman."  I was nice about it.  She smiled and was very accepting of the compliment.  My inner freak was tucked in tightly.  I was being nice and felt badly that she was so down on herself, especially in such a fun setting.

I'm not one of those people who will blow smoke up someone's butt and over compliment just so they like me.  Trust me, I've reached the point in my life that I don't give a crap.  I say what I mean and mean what I say, or I say nothing.  My days of  'over trying' are D.O.N.E. for me.  I am me.  The end.  Love me as I am or not at all.

She lightened up on herself, smiled and continuing chatting on.  We were by the pool area - and someone said something about going into the pool.  All I said is that I wasn't going in.  I was pooled out.  It was hot, yes - but I was done.  No more pool.

In a not so nice or complimentary way, I received, "Of COURSE you don't want to go into the pool.  You'd mess up your perfect hair and perfect nails."

WHAT???  Me??  Really??

Did she just say that TO and ABOUT... Me???

I'm NOT that girl.

I've never been the little stuck up, conceited everything perfect kind of "girl."

I am the overly friendly freak who bounces around and smiles happily like a squirrel on crack.  I'm not the ewwww, she's speaking to me kind of person EVER, to anyone!  How insulting!

I get my hair cut in a way that when I get out of the shower, I can shake my head like a wet dog, blow dry just to make it dry and move on.  If I'm going OUT, I put product in it so I don't have to deal with it for the rest of the day / night.  I don't want to fuss.

Yeah, I get manicures & pedicures - but that also doesn't make me a "little miss perfect".

It's something I do for me to relax and unwind when I can.  I work.  I have kids.  I take care of my house, my kids, my husband, my dog.  I do NOT have or portray the little miss perfect self image.  What the heck??  I don't see perfection when I look in the mirror.  I see all my flaws and the things that maybe no one else sees - but the things that freak me out on the inside and I want to change.

...and I'm friendly!  Overly friendly mostly, because that's who I am.

I know I don't know that woman, and never will - but that hurt my heart to be judged - in a fairly negative way because I looked a certain way in her eyes.

Me??  Not wanting to ruin my perfect hair?

I'm really not used to that.

Oh, and let's also mention that I'm sporting a huge shiner on my right eye (to follow in another blog).  So, little miss perfect?  (no caps for a reason)  Not me!

In another setting, I may have gotten my hackles up and given it to her with both barrels... but being out of my element - I tucked it in and walked away.  Clearly SHE is the one with issues.

It's amazing how judgement can stretch in so many directions.

I'm told that on some level, I should feel complimented - but I don't.  It's all in the delivery.  I was meant to feel insulted, and that sort of sucks.

I can handle anyone's inner freak.  My inner freak doesn't usually stay contained.  What I can't handle is intentional meanness.

So....someone who doesn't want to mess up her perfect hair and nails??

Yeah, that's not me.

I'm not that girl, nor do I want to be...

Before you point fingers, look out for the ones coming your way.

Because YOU may be that girl.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

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