Not another "Lupie" blog..

When I first started out this blog, it was going to be an outlet to spout words of wisdom & feelings about Lupus.

But now - does any one REALLY want to hear me piss & moan??

I'm guessing that's a big NO - and for that reason, I do my best to just live life & not complain. (too much)

First I'd like to say - right now & the past few days, I've felt GREAT!   Really, almost "normal"!  I don't get to used to this, because I never know when it will turn.

Yeah - stuff hurts.  Yeah, I'm shot (most of the time) - and I've noticed that every once in a while my hubby (who is normally very good with all of this) gets annoyed when I just can't do things.  Mind you, I try - but when I'm shot, I'm shot.  My friends usually know when I'm trying to hide it.  It's in my voice & written all over my face - plus, as I've said - I'm a terrible liar.

So THIS will not be one of those cranky little, complaining blogs - because again, Why??  Is that going to make me feel better?  Is that going to be the little magic wand to make it all better..

Nope - I'm still me though.  And this me is just learning to live my life knowing my limitations.  To realize that if I'm starting to feel like I've had enough, that I need to stop instead of pushing ahead like I'd normally do.  I've learned that if I continue - the next day is really going to suck and no one really wants to hear it.  That's Ok - because I don't want to hear it either!  It is what it is... and it could be so much worse.  No, that's not a dare :)

And let's face it... as much as I hate to say so, I'm no spring chicken anymore.  I've definitely lost a little spring in my step, but I can hide it pretty well.   I am genuinely over the doctors & their predictions.  Their guesses on medications.

You see, I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to be the "victim".  The person who others may think thinks tisk, tisk, tisk ... she could have done...  Whatever...  I just do it.  I'm me - I have to be me.  The goofy Jersey chick who's filter is perpetually jammed open.  The mommy who rocks out & plays air guitar in my kitchen with my kids, sings the goofiest songs & says the goofiest things.  Things that outsiders listening in would think... What the....  Yeah - That is who I want to be.  That is who I want my kids to know.

I don't want my kids to grow up remembering mommy being on the couch.  I don't want to be the sick mommy.  The mommy who misses out because she couldn't walk.  I want it all for them - and ya know what, as long as I'm still "vertical" - I'm going to give it to them... Just you watch me!


I may have Lupus, but it surely doesn't have me.

Have an awesome day & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn