Wednesday, February 17, 2016
The thing about blogging is.....
It was about saying what I needed to say, how I was feeling, what I thought about whatever it was I was feeling at the time.
Problem with that is the people you are sure will always know who you are and what you are all about will suddenly not know you at all and feel victimized or annoyed - even if it's not about them.
That's been my conundrum of sorts.
Finding a way to say what I feel and want to say in the moment, without pissing people I care about off and sending the wrong message.
It's been tough.
Much has transpired since I first started this little blog. Some friendships have been lost. Some friendships have strengthened and become great lessons on what friendship is really about. Others have left behind great pain and loss in one way or another.
When I first started blogging, I became online friends with a few women who blogged like I do. Then one day they dropped completely off of the blogosphere, emailing that their blogs had "caused too much trouble in their real life" so they were done. The internet has a way of getting into your real life in ways you never expect.
Who EVER expects their best friend to drop them like a hot rock because they've exposed their innermost self online? No one expects it - yet it's happened.
That's not my story - but it is a real story.
Why the hell would anyone want to blog like this? Why would anyone want to continue to "bare themselves" for the world, knowing that the world could turn against them at any time?
I am very aware that not everyone is going to think or feel the way I do.
Truth is that I'm a hugely deep thinker and feeler, which kind of sucks.
It's often misunderstood. Yes, maybe I do say too much.
But that IS who I am. An open book.
The thing about blogging is that I say what I'm feeling in the moment, much like a diary except everyone gets to read the online "diary" of my innermost thoughts and feelings in that particular moment.
Is it possible that I don't feel as I'd written all the time? YES.
Is that a reason that the world shouldn't have an inside look at your innermost thoughts? Probably.
I haven't learned to keep all that is inside of me inside. Chances are I never will. I'm good with that.
Some individuals in my real life have held my thoughts and words on here against me. Some have bonded closer to me, feeling they have a better understanding of me and where I'm coming from. Some who already know exactly who I am and where I'm coming from just wonder what the heck I'm going to come out with next.
The thing about blogging is that if you're going to be a feeling, opinionated blogger - you need to have some really tough skin or be anonymous.
Sadly there are more people out there looking to rip someone down than to build them up.
Not everyone is looking out for your best interest, or looking at the things you're saying as something to help another human - but as a direct shot at tearing them down.
You can't gauge how simple words on a computer screen will affect the person on the other end.
There are entirely too many thinking, feeling humans on this planet, and we all think it's about us.
Is it possible, even for a second that it's not about you - maybe just this once?
Is it possible that the things that are written are written in the hopes that the experiences of one - good, bad or ugly can help someone else - even in the smallest way?
The thing about blogging is that it's hard. All of it.
ALL bloggers, regardless of what they're blogging about - fashion, food, life, parenting, politics, opinion - no matter what we say - someone is going to have a counter point or counter feeling.
Someone is going to "troll" your post because it doesn't quite fit them. Really.
Confession. I do still blog. Regularly.
For the things I'm not so willing to be tough about, I take my thin skinned self over to my anonymous blog. I say what I want to say knowing none of those people give a crap if I'm talking to them or the person next to them, and I still go about my little life.
If I think I can help someone I know reading - even in a small way, or make you laugh, or just be my random self - I'll be back.
The thing about blogging is that I love it. I LOVE blogging. It gets out all the crap that's clogging my progress and it puts it out there for all of you, at any given moment.
I know I'm not the best writer.
I know my punctuation and grammar suck 3/4 of the time since I also suck at editing.
I'm just thrilled that so many of you asked for more blogging!! <3
That is the best compliment EVER!!
(With the exception of the one person who recognized me in real life - that was a little awkward for me, but I loved it!)
As always, thank you for reading my blog!
I love you all!
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