Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Every single damn day, I learn something new and different by being a foster parent and working with kids.
Things I didn't think I could ever deal with are right in my face.
I am most definitely NOT here to toot my own horn. This whole foster parenting thing... as rewarding as it can be can also be so incredibly draining I can't even begin to tell you. Some days, I don't know how I get through it. I'm no saint. I'm no blessing. I'm no hero. I'm just some old chick from Jersey who loves kids and wants to take the crap I had in my childhood and use it to help someone else if I'm able.
There were a lot of things I didn't think I could handle being a foster parent: drug addicted toddlers, mentally ill children, self abusers, children who couldn't dress or feed themselves at school age because they'd never been taught, children with gender confusion and kids who've just fallen through the cracks.
Some of you who read this know more about me than I want anyone to remember. You know the good, the bad, the ugly. You know the not so wonderful Jenn. The Jenn who - well wasn't someone I'm proud of. You know my "back story". I wasn't the worst person in the world - but I also wouldn't want my kids to follow in those footsteps. Just like everyone else, I've got dark days and times I've embarrassed myself that I wish I could extinguish from the planet - but they're there. Some things are forgiven - others may totally blow up in my face one day.
It is the reason that I push on with the don't friggin' judge me (or anyone else) thing.... We've ALL got something. Even if it's a deep dark secret.
I am NOT all that and a bag of chips, and ya know what - you probably aren't either. Nothing personal - but we've all got something that we'd rather not have others know about us. That's OK.
I am all over the place with this, I know - and it will remain unedited on purpose. I've had a difficult / emotional morning that really had nothing to do with me and everything to do with a teen I'm working with. A gender "confused" teen. A teen who is seeing both the comments about the strength of Bruce Jenner's transition to Caitlyn and the horrible comments of judgment toward the same topic. It's a lot for a young person to take in.
It truly makes my heart hurt.
Genuinely...this stuff confuses me too. I've never been a woman who wanted to be with another woman. I've never been a woman who wanted to be a man. I've pretty much always known who I am and because that knowledge is socially acceptable - I haven't had a problem. But here's this kid. A young, fragile child who doesn't know who they are. Who identifies as something completely different than how they were born - and this person is afraid. This person has been bullied their entire lives in the skin they were born in, and ostracized for the person they are becoming. The person outside the social norm - and people are mean.
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I really don't care all that much about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. Whater - it's not my business. If he's found happiness as she - rock on with that. I wish Caitlyn peace.
I understand this gender identity confusion seems to be crammed down everyone's throat. Thank mass media for that. Fact is that it's been going on for YEARS! Anyone recall a little ditty by the Kinks Lola?? Or Lou Reed's Take a Walk on the Wildside? Just sayin'
I knew a family several years ago who's young son was born with both male and female organs. The parents had to make the choice how their child would be raised - male or female. What if they were wrong? What if they removed the female organs and let the child grow up male and they were wrong - that the child was female? What if they removed the penis (I can mentally see every man reading grabbing their crotch right now, lol) and the child was male? What if Bruce Jenner & this child I know have the same issue going on but they didn't have the "benefit" of having both organs and making the choice?
Listen, I don't know what's 100% right and I'm pretty sure you don't either. I'm sure that making people feel terrible about who they are is wrong.
We've all been taught one thing or another growing up.
We ALL something in our lives that we aren't proud of or maybe want hidden.
It all comes down to basic human kindness.
At very least, you SHOULD be kind to the HUMAN dealing with whatever they are dealing with.
We are all in this together and life has a way of changing things up and smacking you upside the back of the head when you least expect it.
Just be kind.
And thank you for reading my blog!!