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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

When is it time to let a relationship go?

For certain, the older I get the lower my tolerance level to BS gets.

I used to be the let it all roll off my back type, the one who takes and takes. Just as long as everyone's happy, it's fine.
Then it at some point it stopped being fine.
At some point it became ENOUGH!

I began to realize that some of the people whom I relied on seemed to be the same ones using my back more as a doormat than a place to rest a loving arm of affection. That's when things began to change in me, and I began to wonder if it was time to back off and let some relationships go.

Last year at this time and even a 6 months ago, I wouldn't have been able to write this post.  I was full of anger and hurt from some situations and on high alert in others.  It seemed like so many relationships in so many areas were coming to a head at the same time. Those situations and the anger and hurt that went along with them were the best thing to happened to me, as they brought me back to the place I was before.  I'm not someone who needs to be all in the mix.  I'm content to hang out in the background and take it all in, a home body.  It was actually a relief to be able to close doors and walk away. I could just be me, without having to try so hard.  That "period of enlightenment" brought me to a place of peace and the understanding of what I want in the relationships in my life.

I've learned and grown from those experiences.  I am thankful.  The lessons of that year were good.

If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll show up.  They will make time, even if it's a text or a 2 minute phone call to say, "Hey - I'm running, but I wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you."


This is by no means a woes me post...
Believe me, I know that I'm no angel.  I may not always handle the things coming at me in the best way possible. I'm not always as easy going as I like to believe I am.  I say exactly what's on my mind when maybe I should keep my mouth shut, but I know I'm honest and I speak from my heart.
Even when things are smooth sailing, I try much harder than I should sometimes, and when it becomes too much work - I completely shut down - close the door and I walk away from it all, sometimes without another word.

Will those doors always stay closed?  I don't know.
I'm content to let life happen as it's meant to.

For certain, relationships shouldn't be SO hard.


For a while I thought, maybe I just think differently.  Maybe it's just me...but it's not just me.

This topic seems to be flying all over the the internet lately in the posts of those tired of feeling less, or tired of trying so hard or deciding if certain relationships in their lives have run their course, or if it's time to let go and move on.

That's not always easy to do.

How does this seem to happen all at once?  Is it a sudden life shift where you finally know who you are and what you are and are not willing to accept in your life?  Do people change so much without notice?  Or do you change?

How can someone be perfect one day and toxic the next?

So when IS it time to let a relationship go?

Why do we hold on so tightly, when we know something is not good for us?

Is it loyalty?  Is it love?  Is it habit?  Is it fear?  What?

And at what point do you decide that you've had enough?  That you can no longer take the grand lead in a relationship?  When does it all come to a head and blow?

And even then?  Should you let go?

And if you go...

Is good bye for now is enough?

Is good bye forever is better?

Is there GOOD in goodbye?

Only time will tell.


As a little after thought edit... and THANK YOU to my friend BW at Teapots and Tiarras for this comment, which is amazing...   "Don't waste a minute on someone who doesn't bring you joy"

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

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2 comments:

  1. Jenn this was a fantastic post. Sometimes it IS best to just walk away, as hard as it seems. This too shall pass. Great words. Thanks for writing this!

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  2. So many unanswered questions. I guess it depends on the individual person and what is important to them. Everyone has a different reason for making the decisions they make. Great post!

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