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Friday, August 29, 2014

Things I've learned since I started blogging...

When I first started blogging, I didn't have any real, clear direction.
I still don't.
I was merely looking for an outlet to tweak my creativity; Maybe to vent when I needed to about, whatever.  To help where I could and to try to right some of the wrongs I see in the world - even if it was just a small part of the world that reads this little blog of mine.

In this quest, here are some of the things - both good and bad that I've learned:

I've learned that the people here in the blogging community are AWESOME humans!  Really, every single one.   That doesn't just go for the writers, it also goes for the readers.  Everyone has this way of encouraging one another that's simply amazing.
I've learned that people WILL miss you when you're not around.  They will check in to see if you're OK if you haven't seen them online or writing in a while. Maybe not EVERYONE will check on you, but many will.  You will also miss people when they are no longer in your blog feed or news feed.
I've learned that people are FREAKS!  Yes you. I mean that in the kindest, most loving way.  I could be at my absolute weirdest & there's someone right beside me completely getting where I'm coming from.  I love that!
I've learned that among the cool and funny "freaks" there are those "other" FREAKS - the trolls.  You know who they are. They're the ones that come out of the woodwork and take delight in picking things apart - just because.  Yes - these people exist. The more your blog is read, the more open and susceptible you are to being targeted. It doesn't matter if they know you in your real life or not.  Most of the time they have no clue who you are.  They just take delight in wreaking havoc for the fun of it.  Yes, these trolls exist.
I've learned that while trying to be genuine and putting myself out there in whatever way I can, there will always be someone looking to use my "weaknesses" and my "strengths" against me to tear me down.  You could write your point of view, from your heart, as truthful and honest as you know how to be - BUT if there is a more dramatic or angry way to view the post - someone will decide that you are totally full of shit, take your words and twist them into a way that they can use those words against you, regardless of their initial intent or meaning, and people will believe it.
Since I've gone there...  
I've learned that you will REALLY learn who your friends are. You will also learn who they are NOT.  It's super sad - but many times you'll write something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE and someone will be knock down drag out PISSED.  "I'm not stupid, I know that post was about me." - "Well pumpkin, sorry to tell you - it was NOT about you it was about last night's episode of Real Housewives." Of course they'll never believe you.  Sadly, this has happened to me more than once.  Although I may not have been thankful for those experiences while they were happening - I am thankful now.  Good lesson. The people who are really my friends would call me and ask me what's going on. They know that if I have a problem, I'll come to THEM.  I'm not afraid to say what I have to say.  If I'm writing about someone or something in my blog and they don't know about it directly it's because they're inaccessible to me in some way.  ie:  TV personality, someone from my past whom I don't communicate with anymore, someone I have no contact with, or there may be a REALLY BIG boat I don't want to rock.  Just ask me.  I'll tell ya. Have I ever been known to be shy?  Let's face it - I even in-boxed Kevin Sorbo to let him know he was being blogged.  :)  Not shy!

I've learned that the crap that I've been given in my life - ya know, the stuff that I hate and want to dig a big deep dark hole and throw it all into???  THAT STUFF??  THAT is the stuff that has helped more people than I can even count.  That stuff is the stuff I have been grateful for beyond words, because it has helped me to save at least one life and as I continue - more.  Who knew?
I've learned that even though my "crap" has helped people while I share my life here - it's better to blog anonymously. I now have a totally anonymous blog.  There is only one other person on the planet, besides me, who knows that I'm the author and I don't know this person in real life.  I have taken immense enjoyment out of that blog because people like it. People read it.  People relate to it and I've never had one person harpoon me for being "hypocritical" or "mean spirited" or "trouble making" or "pot stirring" or whatever mean and angry things have been thrown at me in the real world.  I still accomplish what I want to accomplish.  Judgment free!

I've learned that the people who DO stand beside me and support me have a deeper understanding of who I am, why I react to certain things and when I'm sinking and need help (When I refuse to ask for it.).  They see me for who I really am.  They know my heart and they know what's real.  They know that I am who I am.  There are no hidden agendas or secret sides of me.  I am just ME.  They also KNOW that all the B/S is just that B/S - and that's all that matters.
For me that's so amazing and that has brought many of my relationships closer than ever.
I've learned that blogging is, across the board, very freeing.  Not only have I been able to help other people with the things I've gone through, but I've been able to work through many issues that had been gnawing at me.  I've also been able to go totally off the rails and get a few laughs when I just need to let go.  I've met amazing and wonderful people and I've learned some really solid lessons that I embrace.

I've learned that even though my writing will probably not win me a Nobel prize, I'm cool with that.  I'm not in this for the fame and fortune.  I'm in this for ME and whomever chooses to ride the crazy bus along side me.

I've learned that there is so much good around me that the ick doesn't matter at all!

God gave me the gift of expression.  I use it as I choose to express myself and to grow.

Regardless of the seemingly negative tone some of my lessons give, I'm thankful - I'm grateful and I feel completely blessed for all the lessons I've learned!

I am confident that even though having this little blog created some ick in some areas of my life, it also made me acutely aware that the path I was on wasn't the path I was supposed to be on.  Some of those people in my life weren't meant to continue on my journey, and that's all OK.

Everything happens for a reason, a season or a life time.

Good Lessons!

Thank you for reading my blog & continuing with me along on my journey.

Lots of love,

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  1. It is difficult to blog when you have thin skin, I am learning to just delete comments and un-follow those that choose to interpret what I write as negative and feed into there own self-serving righteous uppity better than thou causes. But you are right, for the most part I love the blogging community.

    1. You are so very correct. I approve comments first & block, ban delete... It's just best :)
      And if you don't like what you read... don't read it! Thank you for always being supportive!

    2. Holy crap... my comment went through!!

  2. I'm so glad you found a place to let go and be yourself without family and friends scrutinizing what it is you're trying to say. Blogging is therapeutic in a way and if you're not finding solitude in your current environment, it's best to seek it elsewhere as long as you can speak freely and be yourself doing it. Sometimes you just need a different audience if you feel your thoughts and feelings are falling on deaf ears. Communication in any forum is key. <3

  3. You were one of the first bloggers who was very supportive of me when I first started and I consider myself lucky to count you among my friends!!!

  4. I think, when you start getting trolls and angry people on your blog, that means you've totally made it as a blogger! My reasoning is this... only a small portion of blog readers are actually this unpleasant. The more readers you have, the higher your chance of getting a negative one!

  5. I have always enjoyed your blog. I relate to so much of what you post.


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