"While everybody else opens up presents, they're opening up their wrists."
Yeah, I know not everyone catches those kind of lines in movies and commits them to memory. Not everyone thinks like I do now. I also know that's not all happy go lucky, welcome to the holidays and it sounds really unpleasant, but ya know what - it's not supposed to sound pleasant! Suicide is not pleasant!
While most of us are all caught up in the joy of the season, others just don't feel joy - no matter how hard they try. Their closest friends and family may not even know their pain. The inside turmoil that tells them every single day that no matter how much happiness they SHOULD feel - they don't want to be alive anymore.
I, personally, don't know that inner turmoil. I'm not one of those who looks for the joy that they can't seem to find. I'm not one of those who open their eyes in the morning and still see darkness. Those who are depressed and suicidal. For that, I'm incredibly thankful.
Sadly both my dad and brother suffered - and succumbed to their pain. They left this earth, at their own hand, because they couldn't go on. No one could stop them. No one's love was enough for them. Neither of them reached out to say, "Help." I wonder if they knew they could. They never said. Neither of them left behind a note, an explanation - anything for the rest of us to make sense of the pain.
Suicide is very prevalent during times like these. No, I'm not going to quote facts and figures - I'm not that smart. I'm not a researcher. I'm a survivor. I'm someone who knows that when things are hard and you feel badly, you don't feel the need to carry on. I know people who don't suffer from anxiety or depression, clinically, who feel defeated. It just is. Times are tough. People are out of work. Money is an issue that causes stress. Stress breaks up families and causes more stress. It's not rocket science. I'm not someone who knows the details - I'm someone who's felt the loss and pain of losing someone to suicide. I'm someone who strongly believes that no matter how bad things are -
Today, I both write for those struggling with their pain - and for those trying to make sense of their loss. The survivors.
There is always someone to turn to, no matter how bad things are, even for those left behind.
If you are new to the loss by suicide, or have been through it time and time again - this post is for you. Don't suffer alone. Reach out. You are loved and you are not alone. You are never alone. There IS someone else who knows what you are going through. There WILL be someone who can give you a comforting hug who GETS IT. There are others, just like us.
We all know that there are some among us that will NOT have a happy holiday, no matter how hard they try. They may put on a happy face, or not, and go through the motions. Both my brother & dad put on the happy face. My brother threw himself a "going away party." No one knew. My dad, always laughed, always smiled, always tried to help someone else who was down. No one knew what was REALLY going on.
If you are suffering in silence, please reach out...
Someone DOES love you. Someone WILL miss you. Someone WILL ask themselves every single day of their lives... WHY? I know this for sure, for fact - because I am a survivor of suicide times 2.
My dad has been gone almost 30 years. My brother has been gone 6 years. I've never stopped questioning why.
If you are feeling hopeless, please don't give up!
Someone DOES love you! Someone WILL miss you!
Someone will ask themselves every day, WHY?
Please reach out!
Or visit their website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
William R. Cooper ~ August 8, 1942 - March 28, 1984
W. Eric Cooper ~ September 9, 1968 - August 27, 2007
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Even if this blog post saves just one... it's all worth it.
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