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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Age Alzheimers...How old am I??

It happened...

A few weeks ago I met someone who grew up in the town where I graduated high school. Someone, who was clearly younger than I.

As we spoke, she asked about people I may know and politely asked how old I was.  The number rolled off my tongue so naturally... as if it were truth...

Without any thought, I said - "I'm 37"


"Oh, me too!  I don't remember you from high school.  What year did you graduate?"

Then I started to think....How could she be my age???  Was she some sort of a prodigy or something??  She looked equally confused when I gave her the year I graduated.  Then I realized the number I'd just rattled off.  The number that is 10 years younger than my actual age...

Ummm humina, humina, humina....  Did I say 37??

There it is... Age Alzheimers.  The point in your life where your brain decides, "Hey - this is a nice number, I think I'll plant myself here."  It's the number that rolls off your tongue so gently, it feels like fact.  That is until people look at you as if you have four heads, or think mannnnn, it's been a bumpy ride for you, huh??  37???  Wow!

You can't reel it back in.  You can't stop it and most of the time, you don't even know it's out there.  And then the correction....

Sorry, I meant 47.  Ohhhh, 47 - that's more like it.  I think my Mom's 47.

I'm exaggerating, of course - these are the thoughts that run through my head when I realize I've created my very own face palm moment during my age Alzheimer's.

Truth, I'm OK with my age.  At least at this particular second.  Last birthday, I was none too pleased - but it beats the alternative, right?

Remind me of this on my next birthday, or the next time you hear me rattling off some outlandish number believing it's real...

For now, I think I'll just tell people I'm 10 years older...this way they'll say HEY, you look GREAT for your age.

Meh, who cares?

37, 47, 57... just a number, right?

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  1. 57...Hey, it good for Heinz!

  2. That makes me feel better about the brain fart I suffered this weekend. I was on the phone with my brother discussing our age (he turns 53 today) and I know I'm 7 years younger than he is. He reminded me of my actual age. I've been thinking I'm 45 for months. I'm not 45, I'm 46. I feel 27 but I'm actually 46.

  3. I love this!!! Ha ha.

    I will be 60 in March and I am kinda proud of it. I've almost made it.

  4. I'm new to.the whole sharing your inner hell concept . I'm 57 my mom took her life when I was 22 . I was the 1 who found her . I can relate to how your brothers death changed your life . If it did anything like how my life was changed I truly feel sorry for you for both the loss and the change . I have yet to be able to talk about that day some 35 years ago .
    The depression that I was already battling grew rapidly from that day forward .To the point of 3 attempts of my own . Sometimes it's present for so long and becomes so overwhelming that it seemed the only cure .
    Having found your blog and others much like it , ADD music mamma for instance , I actually now believe that I can finally in time find the courage to tell my story. I can tell you without question that her journey as well as yours have made me realize finally that I 'm not alone , that perhaps I'm not as worthless as I have felt so many times for so many years . After having read what I have so far I actually feel differently . Like I vaguely remember having felt an eternity ago . Before so many things I was forced to experience destroyed my soul . So many things ! ( this is getting difficult it's all starting to replay itself in my minds eyes ) You said you hoped your stories could somehow save someone I can tell you there saving mine . Gotta go for now it's getting difficult to see the keyboard seems to be rain poring down on it funny that I'm indoors .THANK YOU FOR JUST BEING

    1. Thank you for your comment, Mark. It means worlds to me that I could be of help. Funny how that inside rain starts to fall when you fall inside yourself. You're never alone. May I also suggest the FB page of The Plucky Procrastinator (if you're not already there) She's a great resource and a fellow survivor. Keep on keeping on.


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