Sucks to even say that here, in print....
Sadly - sometimes you need to go back and analyze why it is that you've given some friendships so much care and attention.
Is it still a functioning friendship? Was it ever?
...or did you talk yourself into the idea of an actual friendship when one didn't exist?
I'm naive. I'm the type of person who misses cues. In some ways, I'm just sort of dumb in this area. I just go along my merry way thinking everything is sunshine and roses, when instead - it's actually rocks and thorns. If I haven't heard from you - I don't think you're avoiding me. I assume you're busy and will get back with me another time. I need the very direct - "you suck, go away."
Maybe I'm overly secure... or just dumb. I miss a lot...
** Oooh, let me throw a disclaimer in here before red flags go up.... My dear sweet beautiful friends, no worries... Not me... Not you... Wrote this a while ago, don't remember why. We good?? **
I have been in situations in the past, however, where I've put so much of myself into a friendship and it wasn't what I thought it was. It happens to everyone at some point in time. Right?
Friendship is meant to be a two way street.
Admittedly, I'm one of those people who give too much and am misunderstood. I don't expect things in return, nor should I. You don't do for people expecting a return. You do from your heart, or you don't do. It's in expecting the return where you end up hurt and feeling taken advantage of.
In true love and friendship, trust is the glue that keeps you from feeling taken advantage of. It's the part of your heart that knows you're receiving what you need and giving what the other needs.
There is a point, however, where you may be in a situation - as I had been in the (distant) past where I was giving from my heart. Trusting in a friendship and giving for the joy of giving for the sole purpose of making another person happy.
This other person was just miserable. Miserable with themselves and miserable in life. Never showed love or appreciated anything. This person will never be happy. I know this to be fact.
It made me terribly sad to walk away and leave that friendship to die. When you miss the cues - the times where people just don't want you there - those are the times that open your eyes. The times when you say, what the hell am I doing here?
The times you need to walk away.
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