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Monday, August 19, 2013

Love is... The Absence of Judgment

"I ain't the kind you take home to mama
I ain't the kind to wear no ring
Somehow I always get stronger
When I'm on my second drink"
~Miranda Lambert - Heart Like Mine

I've never been one to be all pious and up on my high horse.  Pfft, who the hell am I?

I know this sounds like it's going to be this deep depressing woes me type of post, but no worries.  I'm cool with me.  I may not have been the belle of the ball or the most popular in my life.  I've made many, many mistakes and I'm still making them - but I've always been able to be happy, have fun and accept myself for the person I am.  Heck, I kinda like who I am and what I've done with my life.  Mistakes and all.

Am I always the most appropriate??  Um, NOOOOO... I give my husband plenty of eye rolling moments, believe me.  What matters is that he loves all of those moments.  OK, maybe not ALLLL of those moments.  Point is, he doesn't judge me for who I am or the craziness that comes out of me...  He just loves me and accepts me for who I am.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away -- I was a dumb ass.
Yes, really - ME!  Total dumb ass.  OK, sometimes I'm still a dumb ass, but in a different way.  Back then, I was insecure about myself, because - ya know, I didn't exactly lead a stellar childhood.  I had no female presence reinforcing that I was good in any way.  I felt like I was good.  I did what I thought were the right things to do.  I was pretty confident in my own rite, but I never felt like I really "fit" anywhere.  I did my thing and I blended.  Sometimes I was a shape shifter & molded myself into a shape that would fit the situation I was in - but it was never right.  It was never ME.  I allowed people to put me down and tell me how awful I was and for a short while, I actually believed it.

Then I ran.

Let's face it, I know I give people plenty to talk about.  I'm a total goof ball.  I've come through so much crap in my life, that sometimes I'm going to be stupid.  Maybe not on purpose - but there will be stupid!
...And I probably won't care

I AM goofy.  I definitely say the wrong thing ALL THE TIME.  I may be an embarrassment from time to time, but I'll also give you everything I had if you needed it.

I don't need people in my life who judge me.  If you're going to love me, you love all of me.  The good the bad AND the ugly.


“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
~Marilyn Monroe

So when people want to be my friend, and then tell me what I need to do, or how wrong I am or try to change me in some way, it sort of makes me wonder...

Why in the name of all that's holy would you even want to be around me if you don't like who I am?  Think about that.  Who's really the problem here??  Not me.  I'm good with myself.  Do you want me around because you think my outlandish behavior somehow makes you sparkle??
Well that's stupid.  Who's REALLY the one who needs to feel good about themselves??

*  I know I project a lot of what I write on ME, even when things aren't really going on or happening TO me.  This is more "issues of ghosts of the past, coming to light in a situation belonging to someone else."  So my loves getting ready to jump to my defense... I'm good!  *


In this life, there will always be someone around who's going to look down their noses at you and judge you for something.  Too fat, too skinny, too pretty, poor, rich, stuck up, quiet, weird...
WHAT-FRIGGIN-EVER!

Who the hell cares??

At this point in my life, I'm so totally and completely blessed.  I've got an amazing husband who I adore more than I can say, who looks at me and my goofiness with a sparkle in his eye and melts me every single time.  I have children that think the sun beams from my eyes and I shoot rainbows out of my mouth.  I have amazing and wonderful friends who accept me for all that I am (and sometimes feed the beast, eh hem, Don.)  The fact is that we all accept each other for WHO WE ARE.  The good the bad and the ugly.  Judgement has no place in love.  Love is just love and acceptance of people for exactly who they are.  It is the ABSENCE OF JUDGMENT.

So how are you??  You good with you??

That's all that matters.

Sparkle & shine my friends... Sparkle & shine...

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn


Heart Like Mine 
Miranda Lambert 
(if you click on the title it will take you to the YouTube Page for the song)

I ain't the kind you take home to mama
I ain't the kind to wear no ring
Somehow I always get stronger
When I'm on my second drink


Even though I hate to admit it
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
The Christian folks say I should quit it 

And I just smile and say "god bless" 

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand a heart like mine

 

Daddy cried when he saw my tattoo
But said he loved me anyway
My brother got the brains of the family
So I thought I'd learn to sing

 

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand a heart like mine

 

And I'll fly away from it all one day
And I'll fly, I'll fly away
 

But these are the days that I will remember
When my names called on a roll
He'll meet me with two long stem glasses
And make a toast to me coming home

 

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand
Understand a heart like mine
Oh yes he would



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3 comments:

  1. Great post! I should print it out and hang it on my wall! I have difficulty fitting in and sometimes I am not even sure who the real "me" is since I've always tried to do what others told me was right. Just got in an arguement with my mom today cause she was trying to explain to me that I should not wear my camoflauge shirt and purple PEACE shirt when I go out in public because I need to wear something "Cute" and "Girls are funny like that." She thinks she's explaining it to me because, on account of my autism issues, I don't understand the social expecations... but my argument to her was, if someone isn't going to like me because I'm wearing camo shorts and a T-shirt instead of some Barbie doll outfit, do I really want to be their friend in the first place?

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  2. ...I'm 43...and it has taken allll of those years to like me :) There are still a few things I'm working on, but longevity runs in the family so I'm willing to take it slow ;) Thanks for the wonderful read today - yesterday was a "frugly" kind of day, so I'm glad I didn't see this until today - things happen for a reason!

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