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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Girls, Girls... Ease up on the jealousy!

My daughter came home from school the other day spouting off some nonsense about her other friends bragging about something exciting that was coming up for them.

Needless to say, I was concerned.

I wasn't concerned about the fact that she was talking about her other friends' excitement, but HOW she was discussing the excitement.  How she was fed & how she came to feel about it.

We have a pretty close group of friends - the kids and parents, so the way this came to me from my daughter was troubling.  Especially since she's never displayed even a hint of jealousy in the past.

We don't operate that way in our house.  As far as I'm concerned jealousy is a wasted emotion.  We are grateful and happy for what we've got and try to teach our kids the same.  When my daughter came home with this, I knew she was being fed from another direction.

So I asked her... What EXACTLY troubles you about all of this?

Our dialogue went something like this:

Lovely daughter:  "Well, ya know.. they keep talking about "this and that and the other thing."  It's getting annoying."

Me:  "Well, who are you talking about all this to?  You know that YOU are doing the same thing they are, just two weeks later.  What's the big deal?"

Lovely daughter:  "Well, BLANK said they are all bragging and she's mad because she's not going and she is tired of hearing about everyone else talking about it."

Me:  "I think your friends are excited.  Isn't this the first time they're doing this?  Why does BLANK care what everyone else is doing?  She just did X a few weeks ago.  Maybe hers was different, but so what."

Lovely daughter:  "Yeah, she did.  Hmmm.  I don't know why she's so mad."

Exactly...  Because there is no REAL reason to be mad or feel jealous or allow anyone else to cause you to feel that you're being left out in any way.

For the most part, I know where these things come from.  I'd never tell my daughter the specifics, but I do tell her to be grateful for the things she has.  She has a lot!  We may not live in a sprawling mansion with the very best of everything - but we have a nice home.  We have food to eat.  Both mommy and daddy have jobs.  We are able to vacation every year, sometimes more than once.  We are all healthy.  Our family is TOGETHER and we all love each other.

THESE are the things to be grateful for, and most of that is fluff!

Jealousy is a wasted emotion.

Just be grateful for the little stuff.

Love, laugh & find happy in the little stuff.

The rest will fall into place.

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  1. You indeed seem to have a wonderful family and life......I'm jealous.

    1. Have I mentioned that your one liners totally crack me up?

  2. Good words of wisdom! I sometimes catch myself being jealous of my brother, even now as an adult, because it just seems that he ends up with a lot more of everything than I end up with and just seems to have better luck... but next time I feel that way I will remind myself that envy is just a waste of time and I have plenty of things to feel grateful for! :)


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