Not your typical hot flash nonsense, nightmares.
Nightmares of what you may ask? Mother's Day.
Yes, really - Mother's Day.
I'm a mom. I love my kids to infinity. I love other people's kids to infinity. It is my desire to love and protect children and let them be happy kids.
I am a mom.
My mother was not this mom.
Is the the stuff nightmares are made of?
Meh, I wouldn't go so far as to say that. I actually DON'T want to use this as a forum to smash her to bits. I genuinely believe that she didn't know what the heck to do once I came to the planet and when push comes to shove, she is...my mother and if she needed me, I'd be there without question. That's who I am.
Yet here I sit this morning, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes from a nightmare of her, and it's not the first.
Mother's Day is in just a few days. Normally, I'd be prepared with gifts and cards and joy to spread. If my heart was in it. I've made half-assed attempts at acknowledgement before. Ya know, out of the "it's the right thing to do" part of my brain.
How do you do Mother's Day when your mom isn't a mom? What should the card say?
"Yo, thanks for getting me to the planet. I'm good." or "Sorry about the stretch marks. I can take it from here." I know the flowery mushy stuff isn't real. I can't be inauthentic.
|A little strong, I know...|
I know I'm not the only one on the planet to have "mommy issues."
My high school friend, Allyson, posted something along these lines on her Facebook page. I read it intently, because like me, she also has....mommy issues. She is also a great mom - being all and better for her kids.
So tell me.... What should the card say?
When you're a woman, a mom, a little girl who longs to give a card with heart felt meaning...What should the card say?
How do you ignore those feelings on Mother's Day, when the puzzle pieces were never put into place; when you look into the eyes of your own children with burning love and see the love looking back - knowing all the love you possess for them.
Thank you for reading my blog!