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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Accepting Responsibility, Saying Sorry and Letting go...


It always amazes me how often things that go on around me have a way of coming to me & working itself out in a way that helps me to understand things better.

There may be people reading that will see the title and think, "Nice...she's using my stuff."  I'm not.

Last night I went out with some of my girlfriends.

It was a totally crappy day at work and there was some ick around me that set a negative tone for my day, even though it didn't affect me directly.


While we were eating the waitress and an older man walked over to our table.  The man was angry and pointing, going on about a jeep. Immediately I spoke up...  I have a jeep.  Did I do something?
So I asked if there was a problem.  The man continued his angry rant, turning it to me. He went on and on about the a'hole who parked too close to his vehicle and how he couldn't get in, etc.  I had no idea at that moment that I was said a'hole.  I nicely got up and looked out the window and realized I was, indeed, the a'hole.


I immediately said I'd move my vehicle, and said how sorry I was to have inconvenience him.  I didn't realize I'd parked poorly.  I grabbed my keys and headed toward the parking lot.  The man followed continuing his angry assault with regard to my park job.  He was relentless.  I ignored his angry words as they continued and continued.  I was raised to be respectful to my elders, so I didn't say anything other than - "Really, sir - there's no need to be mean.  I am more than happy to move my truck.  I'm sorry I inconvenienced you."  I moved my truck and went back inside without so much as a thank you, to which my inner snark came out as I hollered "You're WELCOME." across the parking lot.

It was amazing the impression this man left.  When I walked back inside the hostess, waitresses and even the patrons were discussing how nasty the man was.  Commending me for how I'd handled it.

Partially, I get it.  I mean, I parked like an a'hole.  He couldn't get into his car.  I hate when that happens to me and I would get frustrated as well.  Not sure I'd have gone off in the way he did, but whatever.  I'm not that person.  I don't know what makes him tick or what was going on in his day and I didn't pay attention to how I parked.  My bad.

About a half hour later, another waitress came over to our table asking which one of us had to move our vehicle earlier in the evening.  The man who I moved my truck for was on the phone and wanted to speak to me.  Mmm.  OK,

I was a bit shocked, but I took the phone and the gentleman proceeded to apologize to me.  Profusely.  He explained that his wife had a hip problem.  She was the one who was going to drive and she couldn't get into the car.  He didn't want her to have to climb over the console.  (I wouldn't have wanted that for her either.)  He was upset for her.  He said he was sorry for the way he spoke to me and for being so curt.  He appreciated that I didn't react negatively to him and apologized again for interrupting my dinner and for his behavior.

That moment restored my faith in human nature.


Genuinely, his behavior mostly rolled off my back.  I didn't let it ruin my evening - but his phone call to apologize made the difference in capping off a nice evening on a positive note.

Sometimes, you just need to look at a situation and accept it for what it is.

No one likes to be wrong or bad or made to look the a'hole.  Sometimes, just sometimes - you need  to suck it up.  Accept the fact that we are all human.  We all make mistakes, and sometimes just accepting responsibility and letting it go is good enough.

Have a wonderful day!!

~Jenn



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4 comments:

  1. I had a similar situation happen to me years ago.I was working at a fast food place and got cussed out over cheesesticks! This man, who specifically asked me if I was sure his order was correct when I handed him the bag, didn't hold nothing back about how incompetent he thought I was and at that moment I felt really bad about my mistake. I apologized profusely and offered him a replacement of his entire order ( which he did not want). A few minutes later the phone rang again and I answered it, worried he didn't finish or thought of more clever things to call me! It was him, he called to apologize. His son took the cheesesticks out without his knowledge. He explained that thr cheesesticks were the only thing his son would eat and he was angered that his sons food was missing. He apologized and thanked me for being professional, I cried like a baby! I really did feel bad about the mistake!

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  2. At least the A-hole appologized, but he was still an a-hole.

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  3. WTG Jenn! Jump back a few years ago New Years Eve, 2008 or 9.. I'm driving along, collecting children for a New Years Eve Bash at our house with my kids. I'm driving along when some "A-Hole" coming from the other direction decides to turn left in front of me and bam! I have 5 kids in the van 2 of which aren't mine and I was on my way to pick up the 6th. I was irate to say the least.. this was the 3rd time this had happened to me in the 10 years I had been driving (I was a late bloomer) My first instinct was to lose my shit all over this MOFO for putting my kids lives as well as the kids that don't belong to me at risk! First I made sure all children were ok and then proceeded to the other vehicle to give the A-Hole the what-for! I discovered the driver was a little old blue haired lady. And I'm thinking, "Great another senior on the road causing turmoil!" But I had to keep my cool now cuz I was taught never to yell at the old folks. Once I realized she was ok, she proceeded to tell me she was very sorry. She told me that she had just left the hospital where the doc had told her that her husband of 60 years would not be coming home again and that her mind was elsewhere. I felt her pain, and as we stood on the corner waiting for parents to come collect their kids and the tow trucks to take our vehicles away, I asked her if there was anything I could do, she said no, that a family member was coming and that she had caused me enough trouble that day... In my younger years I would probably have really lost my cool over this situation.. But that day I realized that to be compassionate was the better choice. And besides, I got a new van out of the deal. And since the old one was having issues anyway, it all worked out ok :)

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  4. I'm so glad you handled it the way that you did, you deserved that apology and I'm glad that he made the effort to give it to you. You are a kind and wonderful person!!!! Hugs to you, babe.

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