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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pity Party...Welcome


I'm not sure this is quality entertainment for the day...

Sorry - this is going to be a piss, moan, bitch and complain kinda blogging day!

I know it's Mental Health March, but my mental health is pissy today.  (sorry folks)

Soooo, I haven't said as much here in my blog space as on my Facebook page, because I've got no place to blog about health and fitness.

Over the past year, I've been working really hard to change my life in many ways.  I've changed my diet and I'm working really hard to lose weight and get healthy.  I've been doing great, mostly.  I've lost about 30-35 lbs collectively and I am stronger.  Now, I got a giant kick in the ass, physically.

I've been really excited that I've felt good.  Mentally, I'm in a REALLY good place.  Physically I was on the right road.  I kick box 3 times a week (well, I try) and I do the elliptical machine every day that I'm not kick boxing.  I was feeling like I used to feel & working toward a slimmer, toner me.

...and THEN - relapse.

Not total and complete relapse, but relapse enough that once I get in a good work out groove, my body promptly reminds me - Biotch - you have a compromised immune system.  You have Lupus.  To the couch with you!

UG!

I'm so mad!  The first time I started kick boxing - I started feeling good.  Stronger & then BOOM - flu.  Not just for a little while, for 3 weeks & yes, I did attempt to continue kick boxing with the tail end of the flu.

I recovered.  I was going for a good few weeks - getting through the entire class.  Working it hard.  Punching and kicking the crap out of the heavy bag (I had to throw that in because it feels really good) and BAM - respiratory infection - totally and completely run down.

I'm mad!

Yeah, I know I've got this little life long affliction and I should really stop bitching because others with Lupus are so much worse off than me, but ya know what - this is MY pity party so I'm going to complain!

I'm not ready to just lie down and be one with the couch on a regular basis.  I did that stint for almost 4 years.  I don't wanna play!  I want to kick box and get strong and healthy and live life!  WTH?

OK, I'm done.

Now, I'm prepping to go on the elliptical.  I plan to make it the entire 20 minutes and I really hope to kick things again next week.  Because kicking stuff that doesn't care or kick back, is kind of a great way to get out frustration AND get healthy / stronger.

In the meantime... I'm having a this sucks party!

Hey - LUPUS - you're number 1... and NO that's not my pointer finger sticking up!

Thank you for reading my rant.

Wish the rest of you a fab day!

~Jenn

9 comments:

  1. Rant away!! It is a b* of a day...yep I hear you!

    You are one step ahead of me if you are bom the elliptical.

    Keep moving fwd. And rant away.

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  2. I love reading your rants. I yell at things all the time and most of them are things that are not able to respond, LOL! I hope you day starts looking up and my the sun shine out your bum once again! Love ya!

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  3. I know exactly how you feel... I have RA and nonspecific mixed connective tissue disease. Which is just the medical way of saying, "we're pretty sure you have lupus too, but not sure enough to call it that because RA and lupus are so similar." I've struggled more this winter than I have in a long time. Although summer brings its own problems, I am counting the days until I can be outside walking. Hope your day/week/month gets better. I always try to tell myself, it may not be a good day, but it is another day, and that's more than some people get. Nobody guarantees us any more than this single moment, so I'm grateful for more days, even when they're painful. <3

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    1. Summer is actually good for me... counting the days for the warmer, drier air instead of this damp cold crap! I have MCTD too.. along with a whole laundry list of autoimmune crap... you know how it goes - they start diagnosing and they keep going. WFE, right! Feel good and thank you for commiserating with me <3

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    2. Summer is usually my best time of the year too, I just can't stay in the sun as much as I would like because the methotrexate makes me burn like a lobster in about 36 seconds. Lol I'm not in as much pain in the summer, plus I get more exercise. I have about a dozen other diagnosis' too... I know what you mean, they find one thing and that one thing leads to about 80 things! Meds for the disease, meds for the side effects of the meds, more meds for the GI damaged caused by all the meds, then some meds for the little bit of crazy you can't help but have at the end of the day from all the.... MEDS. Lol. Some days I laugh just so I don't cry. But, I'm right there with ya!

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    3. I don't take the Methotrexate anymore. In fact I quit all my meds except the Synthroid and I changed my diet. I know this isn't for everyone, but I truly feel MUCH better off the meds! I was taking so many meds & they were making me crazy.

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  4. Ugh. That DOES totally suck. :( Hope you feel better soon. I'm waiting for warmer weather too... and I live in Florida! =/

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  5. Don't be s hard on yourself! I'll bet you are stronger than most--good heavens, kick boxing while recovering from the flu? I'd have my face (or butt) in the toilet the whole time! I'd probably loll around in bed for as long as I could get away with it. Seriously though Jenn, you always have such nice things to say and I just LOVE your outlook on life despite all the difficult things you have been through in life. You've been knocked down many, many times, but you just get right back up and fight, don't you? You amaze me. XOXO

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for cheering me on :) You're so sweet. I'm really not that amazing, just trying to live life the best way possible :)
      xxooxxoo <3 Just a bad day.

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