In the spirit of love & finding love, I figured I'd throw a little something out there for the single ladies.
This particular post was inspired by a single friend of mine, whom I've asked express permission to write this post.
As with my For the Men; Cool vs Creepy - A Woman's Point of View post, this should totally be taken as tongue in cheek. Though the advice in both is pretty accurate, I'm a goof ball not an advice columnist. Don't get all cranky at me. Just have fun!
Yes, that IS a disclaimer because I had some male friends get a little pissed at me for my man post. Sheesh... I WILL tell you if it's about you in any way!
I, myself, was once a single lady - looking for love in all the wrong places and making the same mistakes that I'm going to talk about here... So single ladies, sit down and relax. I'm going to throw some stuff at you that you may or may not have heard before.
The stuff you're doing... It's wrong. Trust me. I've been guilty of some of this stuff in the past & I know my friend continues to suffer from this affliction.
Have you ever noticed that it's either feast or famine?
Whenever you're looking - you're a social pariah. If you need a date, chances are you're going with your cousin. BUT if you're in a happy loving relationship - there are men dripping all over you and dying to go out with you.
What the heck is that all about?? It's like there's a beacon of desperation or something shining brightly over your head that turns on and off at random.
This also works very well when you're wearing your very best stay the FLOCK away from me attitude. Not in the mood? Out with the girls and just want to have fun without being hit on? There they all are. I used to have a phony wedding band that I'd throw on when I just wanted to be out with the girls and blow off steam. THAT, however, can work either way. It's either a repellent or a DB magnet. *Ladies, as a warning - if it is working as a magnet - don't bite. The nice guys respect the wedding band.* WEDDING BAND, not engagement ring. Engagement ring means there's still a chance. It's like laying down the gauntlet and challenging them to get beyond it. Really!
If you start dating - don't call him. Let him call you. This was one of my biggest mistakes when I was dating - I called. Trust me, I called. I called a lot. I would have blocked my ass.
Just DON'T call. You call and your desperation beacon begins to shine brightly and you again become... pariah.
If he's interested. He'll call.
Do NOT try to twist yourself into a knot trying to be like them. You know....pretending to like the things they like, doing the things they do just to make an impression. Of COURSE they are going to love the little mirror image of themselves and be attracted to you. Think ahead to when you get all good and comfy in the relationship and you start being yourself. Chances are he will lose interest because you are not who he thought you were. Then...heart break.
I'm personally, not guilty of this one... I'm so busy trying to tone ME down and not trip over my own two feet that I can't even begin to think about acting like someone else.
Point is, be yourself. If someone doesn't like you for you... Is it really worth it?
Knock off the gushy, gushy 12 year old Winnie the Pooh lovie stuff. Ugh.. You'll even get an eye roll out of me with that.
Oh.. and Shhhhh. Don't dominate the conversation. Most men love to talk about themselves. Narcissists.
(No disrespect, gents)
Let them talk about themselves.
If they like you, they'll want to know about you too.
We women folk are very emotional beings. We get caught up in the hearts and flowers and the rush of emotion. It takes men a little longer. If you go at their pace instead of yours - you may be closer to the real L word and not just the other stuff.
Lastly, I'm gonna go all Patty Stanger on you and say...
Just go be YOU. There IS someone for everyone. Sometimes you just need to stop pushing it. Stop trying to make it happen and let it happen. Trust me. YOU are the best YOU that you can be and that's more than enough.
I wish you all a wonderful Valentines Day!
Thank you for reading my blog!