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Friday, December 19, 2014

Be kind and show love - especially to the "unlovable"

Rushing to judgement is not something that I do I like to do.

I had to revamp this a little bit, because I caught myself, yesterday judging a situation I knew NOTHING about based on very few things I was shown or told.  THEN I saw another side.  THEN I thought about how it felt when people judged ME on very little information.

So I decided to repost this from November of 2012.  A little something to think about...

Here is my post as it stood in 2012:

Who the hell am I?  Really?  WHO.THE.HELL.AM.I.??

Let's be clear - I may do good things in my life now and try hard as I may to be on the right path, but this is not always how my life has been.  I've been no saint, which is a huge factor in my non-judgmental attitude.  I've messed up more than I can put into words.  So much so in my life, that I'm positive that there are people from my past that would turn up their noses at the mere mention of my name.  Maybe they'd even recall a not so pleasant memory that I was a part of.  Something I said, something I did. Whatever.

I wasn't always the me that I am now.  I've learned a lot.

It's no secret that I sometimes lack proper social grace.  My mouth runs much more quickly than my brain more often than I can stop it and I sometimes embarrass myself.  You've read all this before.  It's the thing I wish I could change the most about myself and a one of the quirks I've been blessed with.  I'm silly, kind, loving and an absolute bumbling idiot from time to time.  It evens out, I suppose.  It makes me, me.

When I was very young, I wasn't held accountable for my stuff.  Mainly because I was so young and frankly,  it wasn't my "stuff."  It was other people's baggage that I carried.  Back then it made me appear, I don't know - strong and responsible?  I'm not sure.  I know some parents took pity on me & my brothers.  Felt "sorry" for me, for us.  Even back then, I never wanted to be pitied.  In that, I grew to learn how to hide the negativity that surrounded us - so others would have nothing to say.

As I got older, things got easier.  My brothers didn't need as much care & I had more time with my friends - but no supervision.  I was free to roam.  I did what I wanted to do.  No one held me accountable for my actions.  Probably because no one noticed.  I still did what I was supposed to do & then I ran wild.  If I was judged, I never knew it.  I knew how to cover my tracks.  Until I didn't.

In my late teens and 20's - things weren't so easy to hide.  I didn't live home.  I was on my own.  I was accountable to myself, to my job, to my life.  As much as I didn't care, I cared.  People tend to look more closely when you're a young adult.  They see everything.  The things you try to hide are the things they see the best.  Suddenly I was under a huge magnifying glass.

All of my screw ups were right there, in my face.  People talked.  People judged.  No matter how hard I tried to do the right thing, it was wrong & people sure let me know it.

It was awful.

In reality, I didn't know what to do in "life."  I was on auto pilot coasting along.  Tripping at every pass.  I took examples from other friend's parents, older friends - anyone I thought I could learn from.  People still judged.

So much I'd never put in print.  Stuff that I'm horrified over and don't have the nerve to come forward with. Stuff I'd rather have buried forever.

Things I'm sure this mask won't cover.

Everyone has things they hide behind the mask.  People they'd hide from forever if they could.  At least that's what I believe in my world.

Yes, it is true that I was no saint in my old life.  The person I used to be is dead and buried.  I don't know her anymore - but I do love her & wish that this me were around to guide her.  Because this me knows so much more.

So I don't point my finger, because I know - there would be so many more pointing my way.

How many fingers would point your way?

*How would it be for you if someone judged you forever on the worst thing you'd ever done in your life?  No matter how long ago it may have been.*

Think about that.

Have a wonderful weekend.  Be kind and show love.  Especially to that person who may seem unlovable.  You don't know who that person really is, was or will be.

Lots of love,

*I'd like to credit Cathy Kobre at for being my "muse" for this post.  This line is from an email exchange we had a few months back & is the inspiration for this post.  So thank you, Cathy :)

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  1. Thank you for the reminder! It's so easy to judge others, but we all have secrets and things we wish we did differently. Have a great weekend!

  2. The past is the past, if people judge you for what you did when you didn't know better instead of who you are now, they're not worth the time or effort.

  3. just stopping to to let you know that i have nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award. As with every blog award, there are several "rules" to follow should you choose to accept my recognition of your blogging skills. They can be found on the lonk below. Thanks for entertaining me. Blog on!

    1. Awwww, thank you Aubree!! <3 Thank you for being here & reading xoxo

  4. I think all of us have a memory or two of some unkind way we treated someone or something we did that wasn't exactly stellar. I think it takes a big person to reflect upon those mistakes and change the behavior. Give yourself a pat on the back. You sound like a lovely person. A very good reminder for all of the best you can be.

  5. Hi Lovely, I'm your new follower from Blog Hop.
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  6. Great post. Real. Honest. Genuine. I applaud your candor and openness. I think I'll join your page and follow along for more. I hope you have a wondrful day. See ya' next time I'm in the neighborhood.


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