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Monday, October 31, 2011

Love is for everybody....

Before I even move forward for this post, I'd just like to thank God for the positive words that He puts into my mouth that actually make a difference!

Those who know me, know that my brain to mouth control switch sometimes often gets jammed & I just speak - especially if I'm upset, annoyed or emotional.  Ya know those times when you go, UGH why did I just say that?  That's my life.  But then there are moments when words will come out of my mouth and I will think, "wow, that was awesome - where the heck did that come from?"  Yeah - not me, that's for sure.  I'm very sure that it's the Big Guy upstairs looking out for me & redirecting me properly.

In this case, it has to do with my little chickadee.  This little person has been through so much in her life and it's just so sad, really.

In our house, we spoil the kids, all of 'em.  Ours, visiting kids - whatever.  We just love 'em up and do our best to guide them properly until they move on.

One particular day after her visit, chickadee came home and told me that she wasn't allowed to love me anymore because her mommy said that SHE is her mommy, not me.  Well of course, insecure one.  Did you think you were hurting me with that??

She was so upset.  I sat her down and had a talk with her.  I told her that I wasn't trying to take her mommy's place and that her mother was in "mommy school" and that it's Ok if I love her & if she loves me because love is for everyone.  It doesn't mean she doesn't love her mommy or that I'm trying to take her mommy's place.
Love is a gift meant to be shared.  Love is for EVERYONE.

Now, I'm a total goof ball mommy.  I make up and sing silly songs & say silly stuff, etc.  One morning while we were driving, we were playing the "I love you better game."  Usually it goes something like who do you love better, me or monkeys and we take turns back & forth like that.  It's just a silly way to make her feel happy and loved.  One time I said who do you love better, me or Salem (the cat) - and she teasingly said Salem.  Ahh, no no no, you can't - I teased her.  To that she very promptly said.... "Miss Jenn, love is for everyone."

She got it :)

So again, thank You God for the positive words which You put into my mouth to help this little chickadee.

...and thank you all for reading my blog!

Love you all! 
~Jenn

Friday, October 28, 2011

Snow, snow stay away!

If it hasn't come across loud and clear in any previous posts of mine... I am NOT a fan of the cold weather or snow.

It just hurts my body.  I don't ski (though I make a great lodge bunny) and I don't like to feel cold.

I don't mind autumn when it's nice and crisp - but the freezing cold weather and snow, just sours me.

I go into all of this because our very depressing little weather forecast for the weekend is SNOW!  Ugh ... It's October!!  It's not even Halloween yet.  Really??  What the heck??

Have a nice weekend all!

Seriously considering flying south..

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

There's always going to be a weasel in the hen house...

DISCLOSURE:  I have very strong opinions.  This post is in no way aimed in any direction.  It is solely based on my opinion & my own life experiences.  If you feel you may be offended, please do not read further.  Thank you.

I've seen the postings on Facebook for both the 1% Student & the 99% Professor - and although some of my friends will be annoyed with me, they also know that ya can't hold me back when I'm on a tangent & we all love each other anyway.

I respect everyone's right to their own opinions, thoughts and beliefs - but there's always a weasel in the hen house.  And it's YOUR responsibility to watch your own hen house!

Did you ever see the movie, "Nothing But Trouble" with Dan Ackroyd, Chevy Chase, John Candy & Demi Moore?  The premise of the movie is basically that a crazy judge kidnaps people driving through his town - if he deems them a banker, he kills them.  It's actually a comedy - but the point is that we've been hating bankers for YEARS!  That movie was released in 1991 (it is very funny, by the way)

Am I pissed off about the economy?  Hell yes!  Did I watch our 401K drop $15K in 3 months?  Yes, I did.  Do I like it?  No I do not - BUT, we are the people who CHOSE to trust the weasel bankers and invest our hard earned money to make more money.  Our bad - no one else's.
The fact is that you need to take responsibility for your own actions, your own money.  If you're going to invest money, there is going to be some weasley s.o.b. with a plan to take that money.  Guaranteed.  How is it you think that the Morgans & Fairchilds (just to name two) got their wealth?

I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth.  My father worked 2 jobs, we lived in an apartment and ate meager.  We had frozen fish sticks on Friday nights, lots of boxed mac & cheese, peanut butter & jelly and oatmeal.  I never remember steak, or any type of real meat for that matter & frozen pizza was a huge treat!

I had an incredibly dysfunctional family and did not have the encouragement or opportunity to succeed in life.  It was all me or nothing.

My father died when I was 18 & that was it - I was on my own.  I worked 2 jobs while I attended the school that I paid for.  I had roommates (more than I should have) in order to pay the bills and ate very yummy mustard sandwiches.  When I was old enough, I learned about "Happy Hour" and ate there.

The worst thing I ever did was to apply for a credit card.  That, my friends - is a huge part of the reason this country and the citizens of this beautiful country are in the mess we are in.  Credit & Debt!

No one told you to go off on vacation with zero dollars in your bank account and spend $2000 when you only bring home $189 a week.  Common sense!!

Believe me, I'm not standing in the position of the top rung of the ladder looking down on all the little people.  I and my husband created our very own little mound of debt.  Mortgage(s), car payment(s), credit cards - we are/were no better.  So yeah, when the economy fell through it's own butt we also reached the position of holy crap - what the heck happened??  As a result, we've spent the last 4 years counting pennies & struggling with the rest of the planet - while I've been battling health issues.

I got my butt out and got a job - cut up all the credit cards and started living on the mentality if we don't have the cash to pay for it - we can't afford it!  Of course, the mortgage & car payment are exceptions to this rule for us.

We are almost completely credit card debt free & I fully intend on staying that way.

My husband and I work our butts off.  I wouldn't have it any other way!  I am not content to have someone hand me things.  I want to earn my keep, and be a productive member of society.

Once upon a time, I had my own very liberal views & wanted the world to hold hands and sing pretty songs while smiling and hugging.  Now that I've worked my butt off all of my life & know I could have been one of those that fell through the cracks, I hugely resent being taxed further to give to those on welfare, or those with triply extended unemployment who have the ability to do for themselves.

As the person in charge of hiring at my company, I've had several candidates not only tell me that our job "wasn't worth going off of unemployment to take" but also ask me how long the position will be open because they still had an unemployment extension available...  Some others just balked at the fact that they wouldn't be paid $20 an hour for a $10 an hour job with $7 an hour skills!  Get a grip!

Everyone has an opportunity, it's a matter of chasing it down.  It's not going to fall out of the sky and into your lap.

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.  Teach a man to fish - he eats for life.

Go learn to fish, you'll be better for it!

Thank you for reading my blog rant!

~Jenn

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Back to reality & the scale...

After a week on a cruise, where all you do is eat and drink - part of me was happy to get back home to eating right & getting on a full detox.

I did the whole diet and exercise thing for weeks prior to my cruise, to no avail - so coming back I was terrified to come face to face with the ugly scale.

Not so bad, only 4 lbs...  I was expecting at least 8 with the amount of food (ice cream) I was eating....  Did you know they have an ice cream cone station on ships???  Oh yeah!  Every time we walked by, we made ourselves an ice cream cone.  Not on the way - let's make it on the way...  Good thing there was a lot of walking involved or I'd have gained 20 lbs!!

So now, I'm home.  Unfortunately, back in New Jersey - all my joints are achy again, which really pisses me off!  I could walk a mile in Florida on the beach - here to the walk from the house to the car hurts!  Ugh....  Anyway...

I'm eating properly (not exercising again yet) and I've already dropped three pounds!!  Woo hoo -- so THAT'S the secret.  Diet & exercise months prior to vacation - go on a cruise - eat and drink like it's your job & come home and fast again!!

Pfft - if this is the deal, sign me up!!  I'd happily put that elliptical machine to the curb!

I'll get back to you on this, lol.  I know it all sounds good - but the long term results sort of terrify me.

Thank you for reading my blog!


~Jenn

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Nothing is perfect... and that's Ok

I saw a positing on Facebook a few weeks back, which was very funny....

It went something like "Ahhh Facebook - the place where everything is wonderful, everyone's spouse and children are perfect and the world is a beautiful place."

I totally get the humor in that - because it is true, but that's really not such a bad thing!

I believe that anyone could talk themselves into anything if you say it enough.  Seriously - what better therapy?  There's enough crap in the world trying to drag you down - so why not focus on the positive?  Yeah, your husband could totally piss you off and you could want to trip him as he walks by & you could piss & moan and complain about it - or you could say how absolutely wonderful your husband is.  Which will snap you out of it quicker??  See??  Not so bad!

Nothing is perfect - not on this planet anyway.  How could you ever appreciate the best of the best without experiencing the worst of the worst?

If you're going through hell - you may as well talk about how delicious your chocolate ice cream cone is.  After all, doesn't chocolate make everything better anyway??

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lupus Awareness from a flaring Lupie

So they say it's Lupus Awareness Month - personally, I hate to take away from Breast Cancer Awareness, but I'm VERY aware of Lupus right now!

I should really just learn to shut up & quit jinxing myself... This week, I sent out an email to some friends & family in other states with a little up date on how I've been feeling since they don't see me.  In my email I was so excited because I'd been feeling great & everything was great, etc.  Now - I'm at the beginning of a flare.  Ugh!

I've got so many feelings going on right now - scared, annoyed, disappointed.  Whatever... The change of seasons really wreaks havoc on me!  I got so wrapped up in feeling Ok that I forgot about that.  Now, everything hurts again - my biceps, my ankles are locked up, my feet, my knees, my back my shoulders, my hands and elbows - it's just not fair!  (I know, I sound like I'm 12)

I know most people don't get the whole Lupus thing, and I don't even completely understand it myself - basically my body is kicking it's own... you know what!

I love my friends & I do consider it an amazing compliment to hear "for as bad as you feel, you look great."  I don't know - I guess I need to bitch and moan a little bit.  Sorry - not real good at curbing myself sometimes.

I've recently learned that Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20) wrote the song Her Diamonds for his wife, who is also a Lupus sufferer.  Great song & great to hear from the perspective of the care giver/partner.

Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNCgfrjKcqs

We "Lupies" are a tough group.  It's hard when you don't "look sick" & we don't want to complain about how much things hurt because we know that after a while no one wants to hear it.  When someone does ask how you're feeling, you debate on how you should answer, or just spit out that you're feeling fine - or whatever when you know you just want to go to sleep and everything hurts.  We're not lazy because we need to rest - we're just totally and completely zapped.  Sometimes we just wake up that way!  We're not in a bad mood, we're usually just frustrated & trying to make the best of each day as we get it.  Hang in there with us.  We're doing the best we can - even though it doesn't seem that way.  If you're like me, you capitalize on whatever energy you have when you get it - and then are zapped the next 2 days...  It's such a joy.

I'm genuinely not looking for a pity party - it was just a good opportunity to get my point of view out there since I'm "in it" to do my part for Lupus Awareness.

If you know a "Lupie" let them know you understand (even if you don't).  Sometimes that's just all we need :)

As the wife of a very supportive husband - Thank you, honey.  I know you want to "fix me" and don't know how, but I appreciate you wanting to.  xoxo

Love all my supportive friends & loyal readers!


Thank you all for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Monday, October 24, 2011

It ain't easy... being nut free

Well, she stepped in it again...

This time with a peanut butter sandwich.  Ugh...

Before the nut free & allergy parents get upset with me, please know - I mean no disrespect.  I get the allergy thing, believe me.  I am allergic to bees, as is my son & we've both had the pleasure of anaphylaxis.  It ain't pretty, and I know it...

However, moms like me - without nut allergies don't have all the precautions right in the front of our brain, or the immediate need (or desire) to read packaging.  Again - no disrespect.

What did I do... Ugh...  Well, little chickadee had a field trip.  So I made her lunch, as normal in the morning at 6 am while on autopilot.  She wanted peanut butter & jelly - voila, peanut butter & jelly it is.... She wanted a granola bar - voila granola bar.  Happy kiddie, happy momma - right?

NOPE - 3 pm - "Miss Jenn, Miss Jenn -- my friend is allergic to peanuts.  My granola bar & my sandwich had peanuts."  Ugh again!  Guess who little chickadee's chaperone was.  That's right, the mommy of the peanut allergy girl & of course the allergic little girl was also in the group.  Triple Ugh...

Of course I feel terrible.  Like I said, I'm not in the nut free habit.

I'm not insensitive, I swear.  My very cute little "boyfriend" happens to have a nut allergy.  When I know he's coming over, I make sure to have nut free snacks for him & I keep all the nut snacks out of his way.  Otherwise, it doesn't even cross my mind.

The fact is that kids are kids - they will get into everything they should or shouldn't get into.  I couldn't or wouldn't keep Kyle inside all the time, or put a giant bubble around him to keep him away from bees.  I had to be prepared at all times.  I keep a Epi-pens everywhere possible, just in case.  The trick, as a parent, is to try to let the kids be kids and be prepared - because kids are looking to kill themselves in some way at any given moment.  Our job is to not let them succeed!

I'm truly, incredibly sorry.

I can't promise that I'll always remember to be nut free - but I do promise to be much more aware before I send my little ones off with a PB&J sandwich.  Deal??  :)

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Bye, bye for now sandals & flip flops :(

Well, tonight is the long awaited Halloween party of the year (adults only) and I've been "ordered to rest" by my husband since I've been under the weather all week.

Of course, being the stubborn, rebellious female I am... I realized - I need to switch over my shoes!

Sadly, the thermostat has dipped below 60 (boo hiss) my summertime fun officially over & sandal season shall be switched to boot season.

First, I might add - I had a shoe casualty on my cruise...  Sad, sad day - my very favorite pair of strappy dress sandals snapped - and I was told that I may shoe shop!  Woo hoo - I've actually been given PERMISSION to shoe shop.

So this morning, whilst resting with my computer on my lap I ordered 3 pairs of boots and a replacement pair of strappy sandals!!  I am now off to move my pretty, pretty sandals up to the top of my closet and my boots etc to the lower level & make room for their new friends!

Yeah, I'm still not quite feeling up to par (still working on it) but  I ask...what better therapy than retail therapy??

Enjoy your day & thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Friday, October 21, 2011

All I have to do is dream, dream, dream....

Wow, I've had some incredibly bizarre dreams lately!

For the few months prior to and the few weeks after my birthday, I've been in both melt down and nostalgia mode.  Good in some ways, not so much in others.  My thoughts and memories have definitely incorporated themselves into my dreams.

This past week alone, I've had 3 memory dreams (with an extra added dose of bizarre) and one very cool dream about my brother and dads.  My dreams are always very vivid & I remember quite a bit of them.  So much so that when I wake, I'm not quite sure if it was real.  I can become overly emotional and maybe a little sad - but afterward I embraced my dream as a gift.

Sometimes they are so wonderful that I try to go back to sleep to pick up where I left off.

How awesome is it that you can go to sleep and frolic with childhood friends, lost loves & those who have passed on.  I awoke with a smile several mornings in a row.  It was hard to shake the cobwebs out & realize that it really was just a dream - or the gift of someone always being in your heart, on your mind & deep in the recesses of your mind - only to re-appear during R.E.M.

To the stars of my twilight, thank you for your appearances...I miss you in my waking, but I know...

Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sunburn tips, from the locals...

Of course, no matter where I go away from Jersey I get a "you're not from around here, are ya?"

This time, sunburn was my glaring abnormality.  Yeah, there were probably others. (no comments from the peanut gallery) This is the only I'm absolutely sure of!

Unlike my husband, who tans just by sitting under a reading lamp, I am a fair skinned woman of Dutch / German decent.  I burn.  I could put on sunblock 75 & still burn (fry)...  It is what it is.  AND with my medication, I'm not supposed to be in the sun.  So yeah, I looked like a lobster after floating on my raft in the Caribbean.

So here I am back in Cocoa Beach - on line in Walgreens with ice cream for my family & I get the "you're not from around here, are ya?"  At first the woman, very politely said - your accent sounds like your from New York (ahhhhhhhhhhh)  Nope, Jersey...  then she gave me the tip I'd never ever received before!

DANDRUFF SHAMPOO!!

No, not because I was scratching at my head or flaking on people, lol.  Dandruff shampoo helps your skin to not peel when you get a sun burn!!  I never thought of that - it prevents flaking & peeling and I might add, it was quite soothing.

The brand she specifically recommended was Neutrogena T-Sal - which I purchased when I got home.

I'm happy to report, my sunburn has turned into a pretty golden tan.  I didn't flake or peel AND the "sal" portion of the T-Sal is salicylate (ingredient in aspirin) which took any pain away.

So I share with you all this nugget of wisdom I learned.

Thank you to the lovely woman on line at Walgreens in Cocoa Beach!!

As always, thank you all for reading my blog!


~Jenn

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sailing, Sailing over the ocean blue.......

Can I just say ... I love cruising!

Since we arrived in Florida during a tropical storm, our first day on the ship was in port - followed by a very rough day at sea.  That said there were a lot of eh hem... sick folks.

Not us!  We got up, showered (that was an interesting experience), threw on our little wrist bands and ate breakfast.  Immediately following breakfast, a Margarita.  I throw this out at the risk of getting a good ribbing from friends & family - however, nothing makes potential sea sick go away like a Margarita.  Not sure if it's the tequila or salt...  Oh who am I kidding, of course it was the tequila.

We cruised on the Disney Dream.  Beautiful ship!

Before any of my fellow "adults" think, silly wabbit - Disney's for kids - can I just tell you that you can go the entire cruise without seeing the "giant mouse" - and you can see him & his friends every day if you want also.  Since our CeCe girl was with us, we had to see the giant mouse and his cronies several times - but I'm secretly 12, so that was fine by me.
There are plenty of child free zones & plenty of places where the kids actually want to be away from parents... Really!  And the food... AMAZING!!  Everything was clean, my drink was never empty & everyone was happy!

What more could you ask for?

So now it's back to reality...  Still land sick - that only means one thing to me....  Time to plan my next cruise!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Thinking of yourself less than others....

I don't know why people continue to amaze me...

It's prior to 6 am on a weekday morning at Orlando International Airport.  I, of course, need to use the ladies room.  From my stall I hear a woman with a southern accent absolutely berating the Spanish cleaning woman in the bathroom.

The woman began speaking loudly, as if the woman not understanding English made her deaf, and I hear, "don't you understand - there are cockroaches flying around out in the open area landing on me and my food - what are you going to do about it?"  She went on with - "what do you mean you don't understand cockroach?  It's nasty that cockroaches are flying around while I'm eating."

I'm thinking...  Cockroaches fly and land on people??

As if this poor cleaning lady had the authority (or desire) to allow this rude woman to be free of flying insects... and the woman continued on & on, ending with - "I'm a good Christian woman - I deserve better than this...."

Really???  Because she sounded much more like a spoiled brat to me...

Part of me wanted to find this woman and call her out for calling herself a "good Christian woman" after the way she berated that poor woman, but I do know that would make me no better - the best I could do is smile to the poor cleaning lady and say thank you.

All I could think about was "Do unto others as you'd have done to you."

A little kindness goes a long way, and rude and ignorant generally go hand in hand.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Monday, October 17, 2011

Searching for Jeannie's Bottle.... found surfers

Just back from vacay (now you had to know I was going to blog about vacay)

Both before and after our trip, I scheduled a stay in Cocoa Beach.

Day #1 - not stellar.
We arrived in Orlando during...da da da...Tropical Storm Whatever. Holy rain & wind - made Jersey's weather look fabulous.

We went immediately to the hotel, which was very cool.
Sheraton Four Points Cocoa Beachwww.fourpoints.com/CocoaBeach
They have a GIANT indoor "fish tank" for lack of a better term, with sharks & all kind of sea creatures.  They also have their own surf shop.

We then braved the weather on foot and hit the Ron Jon Surf Shop. www.ronjonsurfshop.com  Totally wind blown & soaked.  Unbeknownst to us - Cocoa is a big surfing area.

Even in the rain, Cocoa Beach is a very cool area.  We didn't really get to enjoy it until after our cruise.

Thursday we spent the day exploring Cocoa Beach.  We walked the beach & watched the surfers. They all looked very gnarly, lol.  (gnarley is akin to rad - a late-1980s - early-1990s term, meaning "exceptional", or "cool")

We hung out at the Sunset Grill watched the manatee & dolphins, then set off in search of Jeannie's bottle...  The little town map they give you is very misleading....  We DID NOT find Jeannie's bottle (crap) but I did find I Dream of Jeannie Lane!

The street is locate in Lori Wilson Park, which is beautiful!  The beaches were very clean and uncrowded (but then again, it's October)  The one thing that freaked me out was the fact that raccoons were EVERYWHERE!  Now, here in Jersey - if a raccoon is out during the day - that screams rabies.  Apparently not there.  They were out in droves - packs of 6 or more.  I felt that eerie feeling as if I were in the Alford Hitchcock movie the Birds. I was waiting to be attacked - so we got heck outta of there & hit the beach in a different direction.

After walking all day, I was ready to just sit back & relax with a few tropical drinks.  I was denied Jeannie's bottle, so I had to settle for a margarita in monkey head coconut -  better than nothing I suppose - but will a giant monkey pop out & clean my house and call me Master (or will I be Mistress, hmmmm)???

Stay tuned for further adventures....

Thank you for reading my blog!!

~Jenn

Friday, October 14, 2011

"Cultural" differences....

cul·tur·alAdjective/ˈkəlCHərəl/

1. Of or relating to the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a society.
2. Of or relating to the arts and to intellectual achievements.

You may not know this, but my husband is Costa Rican...

Well, he was born there & came here at 3 months old.  Technically, he's American (though a naturalized citizen), but he is bi-lingual & bi-cultural, which is very cool.

I guess I never paid much attention to that kind of stuff when I was younger, and no matter what our decent is - most of us here in America are American and our traditions are more native to our geographical areas and not as much to our heritage.

I'm of Dutch & German decent.  Growing up, my mother wasn't a fabulous even close to being a good cook (sorry, mom).  My grandfather, "Pop Pop", was Dutch.  He used to go to the Dutch bakery, which still exists:
http://www.hollandamericanbakery.com/store/
To Boonstra's (home made ice cream shop owned by Dutchies), and also Dunkin' Donuts, to show his "Americanization", every Sunday and then come to see us.  When I went to visit Pop Pop, he taught me to cook "good Dutch food" & when I went to visit my mother's parents, my grandmother (a fantastic cook) taught me how to cook German foods.
But I digress....

My husband's heritage is Hispanic - Costa Rican all the way.  He learned to speak English in school & was only allowed to speak Spanish in the household.  They had traditional family values.

When I first met my husband's family, it was really very shocking to me.  It was New Years Eve & we stopped off at his parent's house to get something & he said he wanted me to meet his family.  Little did I know that they were ALL there!  Easily 25 people - aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, in-laws - OMG!  And then he left me alone - with all of them.  Talk about being a nervous wreck (baptism by fire, perhaps??)  Looking back now, it's kind of funny - because I love each and every one of them.
That was something I was definitely NOT used to & where our cultural differences come into play.

I had this dis-functional little existence.  Divorced family, which became a blended family once my mother remarried.  Step siblings, who always seemed to get more.  We never ate together, we never watched TV together, we never even sat around talking - we all just co-existed.  Sort of sad, really.

Back to my husband's family, the Spanish version of the Cleaver's.  Happily married parents, church going, kind wonderful people who loved each other & others.  Extended family gathering together just to see each other.  Dad is in charge (or thinks he is) & mom takes care of everyone.  She cooks for an army (and really good, I might add)  She loves everyone and is just happy just to have her family around.  I love that!

I know that there are plenty of families who have similar situations - but for me - cultural doesn't necessarily define heritage - but family traits & values.

I strive to give my own family unit the traditional family values that my husband grew up with;  the example of faith, love & togetherness.

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Ya know what?? It IS about me!

Hmmmpf!  So there!!

I was looking back at some of my posts recently, since someone mentioned that I always write about myself - and then I realized DUHHH it's MY blog!  Of course I'm writing about myself!  Well, at least my experiences and how I see things.

Once upon a time I used to listen to Howard Stern (back in the early 80's, before he became too self involved)  Yeah, I know he's trashy - but the thing that I liked about him was that he says the things some people want to say, but don't - just in his own way.  He would also flat out say - if you don't like what you're hearing, no problem - you know how to change the channel...

Now I KNOW that I'm not even sort of Howard Stern's caliber on any level, and I'm not aspiring to be - I assure you.  Not only am I a woman, but I am a Christian woman, a wife, mom & friend.  I wouldn't put anything out there that would embarrass my children, my family, my friends or myself - it's about respect.  I call 'em as I see them, not as someone else sees them.  It is never my intention to offend, but clearly I have in the past.  Oh well...

Like Howard Stern says, you don't like it - change the channel!

This is my blog & it is ALLLLLLLL about me :)

Thank you for giving me my soap box for the day!

~Jenn

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Insecure??

Just in case anyone is worried that I may not be secure enough...  Don't you worry, I'm plenty secure.

Sometimes, I think I could stand to be knocked down a few pegs. (but let's not try that, Ok)

I know that sometimes in my posting, I may come across as needy and insecure - but just because someone is open, loving & kind doesn't make them insecure or "needy".

I don't put this out there for my own sake, but others (who shall remain nameless) who have been  terribly hurt. Very strong and secure, but also very emotional.

Kind and loving does not equal weak and needy - but that also doesn't mean they aren't vulnerable to emotional attack or hurt.  Intentional or not.

I always say how incredibly lucky and blessed that I am.  My life may not have always been easy, but I've always had love.  I've never been afraid to put myself out there.

Love is just love.

I'm not one to play the jealous and insecure game.  I say what I think & if you're going to run out and sneak around - see ya.  I'm not going to stalk your every move to make sure you're being true blue, because what's the point?

I've said before, I'm no piece of cake.  I could drive a jealous man insane with my personality alone.

You need to trust.  Trust others, trust yourself.  Love and let yourself be loved.  Be yourself & have fun.  Not everyone is as they appear on the outside.  Hang around and get to know more.  Pay attention!  Ask (the right) questions, watch and listen to what's going on and be friends. The rest will follow.

Not everyone is "meant to be."  Sometimes they're just "meant to know."

I've always been of the thought that if you want love, you have to reflect it.

It doesn't matter who you love or how you love, just love.  Love attracts love.  Being "in love" follows.

Being secure in yourself is very attractive :)

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I forget...

Ok, so not only do I have the getting older thing against me - but I've also got what's called "Lupus Fog"

Can I just say - NOT AT ALL appreciating God's sense of humor on this one...

I've accepted several of the bumpy roads in my life & just chalked it up to my own stupidity and for purposes of God's entertainment (you're welcome big Guy), but this forgetting - not so much fun.

I can't even say how many times I will walk into a room for something specific and sit there looking around, la la la - turn around and forget about it and then remember a half hour later & go through the exact same process.

This happens with everything - keys, appointments - you name it!

Luckily I haven't forgotten any kids anywhere & I'm still spot on at work - but I dread the day when my boss asks me for the monthly financials and I completely go blank.  Let's just hope that day doesn't come, shall we??

Now where was I?

A while back I heard an old skit on one of the comedy stations; Father Guido Sarducci, from Saturday Night Live!  Anyone remember him??  In any case, he had a skit about when you go to Heaven, the first thing you see there is a box with your name on it.  That box contains everything you've ever lost (or put in that special place so you don't lose it) while here on earth.  I have been obsessively scanning the internet for a clip, but can't find it anywhere - ANYWAY..

How awesome would THAT be & how fun is that to look forward to??  While waiting on line to get into Heaven's gates - you get your box of stuff you lost.

I'm wondering if I would even be able to carry  my box??  I guess it's going to have wheels on it.

Now I forget, what's this blog about?

Thank you for reading my blog anyway :)

~Jenn

Monday, October 10, 2011

Longing for a small town feeling...

I've lived in Jersey my whole life - with a few random, short term exceptions.

Jersey isn't New York City - but the entire New York/New Jersey/Metropolitan area is just so big, so much.  So many people, so much information - sometimes so overwhelming.

A few months ago, I started listening to a country station, owned and operated by Clear Channel Communications - Hot Country B95 http://www.b95radio.com/main.html out of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin.  (Clear Channel also owns and operates my favorite Tri-State Area rock station Q104.3 http://www.q1043.com/main.html )  Yeah, I don't know exactly how I found it - but I love it!

Now that I've plugged my favorite radio stations, you're welcome :)  The point of my blog...

In listening to my Wisconsin station, I'm constantly smiling at the whole "small town feel".  I love hearing the things local folks say on the station and note that it's sounds so much nicer than it does here.  Nothing against where I live - because I'm a Jersey girl to the bone.  I just love the non-complicated way things seem someplace else.  I love to hear on that station from the woman who saw a man in the tavern in his bathrobe & pajamas.  I love that they call it the tavern & not the bar.  Every day I hear something different & just smile.  I love the whole seeming simplicity of the "not so many people/not so crowded" areas and I wonder - where can I get that?

I  moved as far north in Jersey as I could get without being too far from work, but far enough from people - but you still can't escape the busyness - the crowds - the traffic.

I long for simplicity....  And if it weren't so darn cold out there in the mid-west - I'd actually consider that an escape.  However, here I am in Jersey - longing for that small town feeling - but loving the convenience of everything being right here.  So here I am, here I'll stay.

Thank you to my friends over at B95; Mike McKay, Donuts & Bobby Tripp (sorry if I've left anyone out - these are the only shows I listen to)  Thank you for making this big world a little smaller & making this big ol area of the country have a small town feeling - even if it's just virtually through my computer.  Now if I could only get it beyond this blonde head that your weather doesn't affect me in the slightest, all would be well :)

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Friday, October 7, 2011

Testosterone Man, in a sea of estrogen....

My poor husband...

Completely, hopelessly surrounded by women of all ages, sizes & species...

The cat is even a girl!

It's all good when he first gets home.  All the girlies swarm him with hugs & kisses - BUT THEN...we want to talk.  All of us - usually consecutively.

Personally, I know when to shut up.  If he comes home with a scowl on his face, I know stay away, far far away.  I cook dinner & be gone with myself until he's human again.

Not the girls - they barrage him with daddy, look at my lip gloss.  Daddy, look at my nails.  Daddy, look at the new shoes mommy bought me, daddy, daddy, daddy.  Then my baby girl - who has no concept of what the "Readers Digest" version of a story is (even I tell her to get on with it) - will launch into her fun filled day with every single possible detail and color.  I very clearly see my husband's eyes glaze over and he drifts off somewhere in time between Bike week & some other manly event that doesn't have any (little) girlie stuff anywhere.  Then he'll drift back and... Oh my gosh, she's still talking, lol...

I could save him, but nah - I've got to cook dinner some time...

Kyle is barely home anymore.  In a few more weeks he'll be off to boot camp & soon there will be no additional testosterone to spread around all the fluffy things in our house.  Just lip gloss - everywhere...  Oh and nail polish & perfume & bubble bath & pretty pretty poofs.

It is very funny, really.  You see my husband is a big, bald, tattooed biker dude, left to carrying around our daughter's very pink Hannah Montana purse.

Again, poor guy!  All that testosterone floating around in this mighty sea of estrogen.

All I have to say is "Ahoy Matey"!

I guess it could be worse.

Have a great day!

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Ambien & Technology don't mix!

Oh, I've been on a real roll lately...

Anyone who has been victim to Jenn on Ambien, I deeply apologize.

I have been going through random rough patches lately.  I feel great, I crash - I feel great, I crash.  I'm in crash right now as I type.  I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep because my body is freaking out, I take (prescribed) Ambien to help me sleep.

The warning label clearly states to take this product when you are already in bed.  At first I though, yeah - duh, I want to sleep.  Then the nurse at the doctor's office told me some crazy story about how when her mother had insomnia and took an Ambien, about an hour later she found her mother sitting on the kitchen floor eating potato salad with her hands & had food all over her face.  She was slurring and disoriented & if she didn't know any better she'd have thought her mom was having a stroke.  Mom went back to bed & had no recollection of the incident the next day.  My co-worker told me a similar tale on how he got out of bed and threw away all of his medication.

I thought I was immune to that particular craziness, I just want to sleep...  Uh nope...  Not only did my husband tell me stories of me getting out of bed, watching television and having conversations with him (that I don't recall) but I've also sent emails, texts and have had Facebook conversations that I've apparently incorporated my dreams into...  Holy moly!

I create enough of my own problems without my sleep medication kicking me over the side, lol.

Lack of sleep is something that I'm not used to & not being able to fall asleep, equally foreign to me until lately.  Now I've opened an entirely new can of worms, compliments of chemistry.

I'm strongly considering locking up my technological devices during periods of time when my chemistry level is higher than my blood oxygen level.

So if you receive a crazy email or text or anything that makes you go hmmm - It's not me, it's the meds!

Really!  :)

Thank you for reading my blog!

Have a fun & restful day!

~Jenn

Monday, October 3, 2011

Hey Diet, Hey Scale... You're #1

Yeah, so I've been dieting...

I won't say which finger I was flying to tell the scale and my diet they were number one.

I thought dieting over 30 was bad, but having Lupus, a bum thyroid AND being over 40 - nearly impossible.

The past couple of weeks I've been on that "17 Day Diet" because I am a carb addict.  That said, for the past couple of weeks I've been like a junkie without a fix.  I've had headaches & have been down right mean.  I've been eating protein and veggies like they're going out of style.  And the scale has not budged a flippin' pound.

To top it off, I've been working out.  I'm not a huge fan of planned exercise.  I think I've mentioned this several times.  If not - I hate to exercise.  Yet there I was - every night on the stupid elliptical machine.  Yes, I said stupid!

So now I've had one of my fabulous Lupus crashes.  I have no energy AND my knees & elbows are screaming, thanks to my "work out" on the elliptical.  UGH...  Oh, and I didn't have any carbs to kick my energy level up - because according to this stupid book, my body will energize itself on the fat it's already stored, so I don't need to give it carbs.  Personally, my body could live for years off the fat I've stored and I'd really like a nice big juicy cheeseburger & fries right about now...

Frustrated and in pain, I wandered to my son's room.  Knocked on the door and asked him for his honest opinion of how my legs look.  Having trained him right, he pretended to look and said, "You look great mom."  Well thanks, but when I said HONEST I meant Mom honest, not man not wanting to be in trouble honest....  So I said - Ok, forget everything I've told you (because I know he doesn't want to hurt my feelings either & knows how hard I've been trying) on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the worst - how bad do my legs look.  His answer....  Mom, you look great for a woman your age. AHHHHHHHHH

I love my baby, I really do - and in his eyes, that was a high compliment.  What was I really hoping for?  I was hoping for a "Wow mom, you're almost as hot as a 20 year old - keep up the good work."
Still digesting that.... A woman my age.  Ugh...  My age....  ouch....

With my pride hurt, but knowing my baby boy was genuinely trying to issue me a positive compliment - I caved.  My friend, Carrie, brought me the most wonderful piece of White Chocolate Limoncello Cheesecake
http://carriesexperimentalkitchen.blogspot.com/  and I ate the whole thing!

Guess what - SCALE STILL DIDN'T MOVE!

Flippin' diets!

So scale - diets, here's the ol' Jersey Salute - you're still #1....

Thank you for reading my blog!

~Jenn